road warriors

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things are different today i hear every mother say…  the glimmer twins nailed that one so long ago. it’s not 1955 anymore, or 1965, or for that matter a bit past 1971.  things are really different today.

a friend of mine, a lady, was bemoaning that some guy she knew didn’t know anything about cars.  sadly, i guess these days that might be a deal breaker. but like i said, it’s not the old days. the computer chip and all the smog stuff caused lots of us guys to hang up our oil filter wrenches.  sure, some guys still work on their rides but they have one of the old cars or they are some sort of toyota mechanic or something. 

it’s not like when i was much younger and you helped a friend change the head gasket on his ride.  your thermostat giving you trouble?  screw it.  take it out.  this is california we don’t need a heater in the car.  20 minutes later the job was done. say, we have the head off let’s grind the valves on the bench grinder. hey, hand me the broom stick, i want to listen to the valves and see how well we did. simpler times and simpler machines.  today i doubt i could even find the water pump on any new car.  or for that matter do cars even have water pumps anymore?  hell if i know.  see what i’m saying?

i gave up on oil changes myself as well.  too much red tape and just mind numbing wiring under most car hoods to make any sane person not want to tackle much of anything under there. it’s easier to take it to one of the oil change joints though you have to keep an eye on them and be polite when you turn down their extras.  the real problem with car repairs now is the semi major or major stuff.

why, yes, sir, you see the computer chip that controls the left side back passenger seat window has shorted out. it’s taken the entire electrical system out with it.  we have to wire mainland china to see if they have the parts.  you should be up and running in about 6 months or so. we have rentals for under a cee note a day.

sweet jesus, what brought us to these strange times?  progress?  the industrial revolution?  samuel gompers?  johnny otis and his elevator.  no, wait.  he’s a singer. hell, maybe he did invent the elevator for all i know. maybe one night after a hard couple of sets he kicked back to savor a short dog and the idea just hit him.  stranger things have happened.

no ladies, most of us guys aren’t road warriors anymore. don’t hold it against us though for the majority of us it’s not our fault.  yeah, ok, so maybe we should have gone to night school 6 nights a week and taken up auto repair every year for the past 30 years.   however, excuse me, i’ve been busy.  sure i’m not that busy anymore but at this point i’m not interested in learning how to take care of anything other than a nice bottle of wine.

you ladies need a good man and us guys just need a good lady and a good mechanic. it’s really just that simple if you think about it.  although a triple a card in your wallet doesn’t hurt either.

music provided by, janis joplin with big brother and the holding co, live at winterland april ’68.  this is a good cd. recorded just after they signed with columbia. all the big brother stuff. best part is they actually hit what note they seem to be looking for.

jmh

 

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