life in the fast lane(?)

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last week i was wandering around upstairs and noticed, out of the corner of my eye, a ball of gray fur huddled in a corner of one of the balconies. the ball of fur was a kitten.  not an extremely young baby kitten but more like pre-teen sorta kitten.  i have no idea how it got up on the balcony.  i opened the sliding door and it zoomed off into the air.  i heard it’s thud when it hit the landscape.  by the time i got to the railing it was going like a rocket up the drive and off to god knows where.

a few days later that same kitten was laying dead in the parkway.  no idea how it met it’s fate.  given it’s skittish behavior anything is possible.  well, of course no one wanted to pick the dead thing up and dispose of it.  i’m usually the one that ends up doing those nasty chores around this place.  though i’ve grown weary of doing the nasty work so i just left the poor kitten there to fester.  i was going to wait and see if someone else was going to step up and take care of the problem.  of course no one did.  god forbid, i suppose. 

the dead kitten sat in the parkway for i don’t know 4 or 5 days.  it was sorta close to the gang mailbox out front and i’d have to look at it when i went and got the mail each afternoon.  it wasn’t a pretty sight.  but i’d made up my mind, i wasn’t taking care of these assholes problems anymore.  someone else could suck it up and do the deed.  of course, no one had whatever it takes inside just to do the fucking deal.   no, not these sorry fuckers.

sunday night i decided that if poor kitty was still there come monday morning i’d take care of it.  that is if none of the supermen macho hombres/ninos couldn’t come up with the cajones or whatever to do it.  yeah, none of the vatos could manage, the kitten was still there monday morning.  so i gloved up, got a plastic trash bag and picked the little guy up.  tossed it in the dumpster and said a silent goodbye. 

you would think the sad story would be over but it’s not.  i guess the post office workers decided that the dead kitten was too gross for them to deliver the mail anymore.  we didn’t get any mail yesterday.  i saw the truck just drive on by.  the kitten was long gone, taken out to the landfill hours before.  i was wondering what was going to happen today.  i still am because there was an l.a. county animal control truck out there when i came back this morning after doing some stuff.   i guess someone called them about the dead kitten.   maybe the post office did.  i don’t know.   i didn’t because i’ve called animal control in the past about stuff and they are pretty much fucking useless twits.  kinda like postal workers.

we’ve had trouble with those dolts in the past, ah that would be postal workers.  a couple of months ago we didn’t get any mail for like over a week.  seems someone had dicked with the lock on their side of the box and they couldn’t open it to stuff the junk mail inside.  of course they didn’t bother to tell anyone what the fuck was going on.  one of the neighbors finally got a hold of the local yokel postmaster and got the skinny.  she reamed him out.  she also hipped me to his super secret number and i called as well.  i wasn’t happy.  more reaming.  well, the box got fixed the next day but it took them long enough.  i wonder how long it will take before they start delivering mail again this time?  how long will it take for them to realize the dead kitten is long gone?   for that matter will the twits in animal control even bother telling the dolts at the post office there wasn’t even a dead animal there when they finally showed up?  questions questions questions. 

i lost the damn postmaster’s super secret phone number so i will have to make a personal appearance there bright and early tomorrow morning if they by pass us again today.  it’s always one damn thing after another.

jmh

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