the voyage of eric the red, a prolog

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ok.  i’m starting this monday morning.  no idea when it will get done so tenses, past or future, will probably be jacked up.  like they aren’t always anyway. 

i need to start packing tomorrow morning.  that big ass suitcase needs stuffing.  seven days worth of crapola.  plus stuff for the damn formal nights.  no black or white, for that matter, tie wise and tux for me.  thankfully.  just a suit.  though that means hard shoes.  i imagine i could do flip flops with socks but that might cause to much of a stir.  though maybe not.  strange times for sure.  you know like i’m talkin’ jerry lewis style white socks an’ flip flops.  oh, dean!!!   

i spent this morning dealing with other stuff.  cashing my $600 check from the chinese government.  i just hope it doesn’t bounce.  the massive visa bill paid in full.  the largest one of my life.  hopefully, there won’t be anymore anywhere near that one.  not even in the same league, let alone ball park. 

jimi is blasting away at the ‘star spangled banner’.  all seems good.  but there’s always that pre trip angst i come up with.  made only worse this time by the circumstances.  ah well, fuck it.  massive amounts of swedish vodka, absolut as always, might keep things on an even keel during the trip to valhalla.  well, for me any the ways.  the other part of the equation is still up in the air being blown hither and yon by wind gusts not unlike old candlestick park.  winds that kept willie mays from breaking the babe’s record long long ago.  however, this isn’t a baseball blog.  just yet. 

speaking of, absolut vodka, my offer to shill for them still stands.  somebody out there must know somebody that can help a body out or brother out.  if you get the drift.  any the ways, i have plenty of spare time.  i could go on tour with some hot asian models.  it’s just a thought.  yes, of course, that would mean even more packing and pre trip angst. 

yeah, well, once i got to your town i’d just sit there and sip absolut martinis while the models danced to jimi music coming out of some monster speakers.  i’d let the locals taste the absolut while they ogled the ladies and their top drawer trick dance moves.  seems like a winner deal to me.  i could probably take a couple of months on the road of that action.  easy.  let’s see, we could call it ‘the electric cool vodka test’.  or some damn thing.  or maybe ‘watch the dumb old guy’s liver grow to the size of abba’s old pre-inflation bank account.  brought to you by, absolut vodka, the swedes gift to the world’.  sure, why the hell not?

things will get earnest here in the next few days.  at least i’m here and the old g/f is there.  that is a plus on numerous levels.  though i’ll probably have to haul her over stuffed suitcase down the stairs when i get there at way the fuck oh dark thirty on friday morning.  debarkation day.  the voyage of eric the red day.

god, eric the red day hits the bering sea.  well, ok.  way south of the bering sea.  a long ass damn day for sure.  i’m getting to old for these long ass days beginning at way oh dark thirty and ending up sometime god knows when.  yes yes yes.  ok, it’s in the afternoon and then it’s light the funeral pyres and we shove off into the mystic or alaskan glacier thingy or something another.  yeah.  jesus.  i may need an absolut IV to get through the fucking day. 

after a nice vegetarian meal tonight.  yes, i can do that more times than you can.  wanna play?  i thought not.  plus enough vino to sand down the edges to a point where this whole deal seems ok and the blog is ready for the internet.  what could be better?  i could think of a few things but i’ll let them just sit for now.

if can i only remember stick the damn photo at the end of this before i post it.

seward alaska, and the good ship eric the red in the distance.

jmh

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