christmas cheer and/or i’m the trashman

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i hadn’t planned on writing anything else until after christmas.  i thought i’d be too busy today.  turns out things are well under control at the brown eyed girls place so here i am.  lucky me.  at any rate, i’ll go back there later today and spend christmas eve drinking euro-lander beer and eating tamales with her and kayla the cat.  i’m not sure how that’s going to work out taste wise but whatever.  we need the space in the reefer for christmas day stuff.  the beer has to go.  no, the cat will not be fed beer and/or tamales.  though on the other hand some beer might chill her out.

i may have a bit of christmas cheer before the beer.  then again maybe i’d better not.  never mix.  never worry.  a good credo to live by if there ever was one.  long time readers know i’m a big fan of absolut vodka.  what can i say?  over the years i’ve always heard that grey goose is the vodka of choice among the truly hip and delusional.  i mean guys like howard stern and colin cowherd sing praise about gray goose.  had i been missing something?

maybe if i started drinking gray goose i would become truly hip and even more delusional.  maybe i’d get a sirius radio show or espn or sports illustrated would come a calling with a nice fat sports writing contract.  well, shit.  it was time for me to buy me some of that grey goose stuff and get the money train a rollin’.  so that’s what i did.

a few weeks ago we were at costco, a big warehouse store here in so cal.  it’s just like a sam’s club or something.  we were wandering around in the place and i spotted some grey goose.  honey, i’m gonna get a bottle of grey goose.  babe, it ain’t cheap.  yeah, i know but if i’m ever gonna be truly hip and more delusional i’m gonna have to at least try the stuff.

grey goose is twice the price of absolut.  twice the price so it must be twice as good.  right?  one would think.  but trust me it isn’t the case.  i don’t like the stuff.  absolut is much smoother and tastier.  grey goose sucks.  oh, i’ll finish the damn bottle but i won’t have to like it.  no, siree.

what does it all mean?  it means that the truly hip and delusional are just that, delusional.  they may be hip but like tower of power sang years ago, ‘what is hip? tell me i want to know.’  jumping on the grey goose vodka wagon might be hip but it turns out to be just delusional at best.

are you reading this absolut vodka?  i strayed but i’ve seen the error in my ways.  i’m back and i’m still ready to go on that absolut vodka road trip and be a shill for your fine swill.  call me.  we can work it out.

i’m lucky enough to live in a town where you can recycle stuff the easy way.  you get a blue trash can and load it up with recycle able crap.   stick it out by the curb on trash day and the trash guys come around and dump it.  thus saving valuable space in the landfills for more important stuff like real trash.

i’ve gotten heavily into the trash recycling trip.  i spent years living in places where you couldn’t do that.  years of just going fuck it and throwing whatever into the trash can to be taken away.  mea culpa, as it were.  no, i’m not a global warming the sky is falling kinda guy.  nope not me.  i’m just sayin’ i’m happy as a clam to be doing something about trash.

now if i could only do something about paris hilton and her pink bentley.  but that’s a drift.  i fill my blue trash can up every week with all sorts of stuff from junk mail to used up vino bottles and crapola in between.  i’m happy to do it.  i even load the trunk up with stuff from the brown eyed girl’s place and drag it back here to toss it out in some sort of algore inspired delusional frenzy.  hell, he prolly doesn’t even recycle a damn thing.  wouldn’t surprise me at all.  nope.  he just flies around in his private jet making a gazillion dollars per speech about how we are fucking up the planet and we should be ashamed about that very idea.

hell, i’m more ashamed of the truly hip and delusional.  regular folks will eventually work shit out.  count on it.  the truly hip and delusional never will.  count on that as well.

my point to all this stuff?  do what you can.  do it as often as you can.  it’s as simple as that.  while you’re at it have a very merry christmas eve and day.  i wish you all peace.  may you find it this holiday.

jmh

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2 thoughts on “christmas cheer and/or i’m the trashman

    Stephanie Meyer said:
    March 10, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    Generally I do not make comments on blogs, but I have to mention that this post really forced me to do so. Really nice post

    johnhauge responded:
    December 13, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    thanks. a little belated but…how did i miss this way earlier??

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