2012 college football picks & predictions week 5

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eddie catalina had weathered worse weekends but nothing quite like the past one. in some sort of semi delusional death wish he’d taken his car and rent money and bet it all on 10 of the worst college football picks imaginable. sure, some of them looked good and even made sense in that death wish sort of way. but he knew he was in big trouble by mid afternoon on saturday.

the odd thing was he really didn’t care. the third floor walk up in the eastern part of downtown los angeles and his 10 year old car had lost whatever luster was left or ever had been there. things had tumbled out of control and he was resigned to what would come soon enough.

another strange thing was he didn’t even have the car or rent money anymore. after losing the game that tilted the deal below what would mean busting out even he had taken the car and rent money and blown it all and then some. that was even before the total disaster became, oh so apparent. all the money he had was blown on a bizarre drunken whore mongering night in the illegal after hours mexican ‘nightclubs’ in his neighborhood. a long night that found him drunk, alone and asleep at his kitchen table around noon sunday.

the pounding on the door woke him up. it took a second or two to realize it was morning, the sun was up, and he was still drunk. very drunk. stumbling to the door he opened it. two thugs pushed their way inside. the larger of the two shut the door and stood by it.

the smaller one spoke.

so where were you last night? it looks like getting drunk on your sorry ass. and that’s no excuse. there are no excuses. you know the rules. payment is due on all bets at midnight sharp. pay up now plus another $1,000 in vig for our trouble. don’t fucking piss don vincenzo off any more than he already is.

standing there in his under ware, head down looking at the floor he thought, good thing i’m still drunk. maybe the broken bones won’t hurt so bad.

broken bones or maybe. just maybe. yes, a mad hangover haze grab for the rusty but loaded .357 under the three day old newspaper on the table. for you see, as dawn had broke that sunday morning, lonely broken drunken dreams made him pull it out of the bottom of his old army duffel bag. he’d passed out before he could use it. now maybe. just maybe. he could make use of it for some other purpose.

the smaller man slapped him to the floor. eddie used the table to help himself to his feet. his hand slipped under the paper. he gripped the pitted and splintered walnut pistol butt. he spun around firing. his finger pulling the trigger as fast as he could. sound, smoke, and the smell of cordite filled the small room.

the two mobsters lay there bleeding their last seconds of life out onto the cracked yellowed linoleum floor. eddie catalina’s troubles had only just begun.

(if you’re interested in reading the entire, ‘eddie catalina’, saga you can find it here on this site in the categories section.)

poor eddie. that could happen to you if you were using my pathetic football picks for any of your betting stupidity this year. another dismal 3 for 10 last week making my over all 15 for 40. my worst week so far and drifting even further away from 50%. the good thing being there are another 8 weeks left in the season. surely i’ll hit a few 7 or 8 for 10’s down the road. right? sure.

remember this mess is for entertainment purposes only. taking whatever you can from here and using it to place some sort of bet with whoever would be total insanity on your part. don’t do it. keep your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and nobody gets hurt.

no points or spreads this week. family day on sunday then off to las vegas early tuesday morning preclude any of that stuff. by not doing the points it may even help my over all for a change. yes, i’ve done this before, at least one week during the season when life gives me more things to do than writing this insanity.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/27 stanford @ washington. let’s see. the trees beat usc and the huskies played doormat portland st. possibly an interesting game. take the trees to win.

9/28 hawaii @ byu. norm chow heads back into byu country as a new head coach for a visit to one of his former employers. sadly, i honestly don’t think he has a chance to win this game. even with byu’s poor showing against boise last week. take byu to win.

9/29 minnesota @ iowa. minnesota is undefeated. imagine that. of course, a couple of the wins were against fighting road kill state. iowa isn’t playing well at all. the golden gophers stay undefeated. take em.

9/29 ohio st @ michigan st. the spartans didn’t play well against the domers last week in domerland. ohio st has played only one real FBS team this year. and that was cal, whom they barely beat. home field home team. probably an upset win. take michigan st.

9/29 boise st @ new mexico. boise st should win this one but the lobos might make it interesting. take boise st to win.

9/29 tcu @ smu. i picked this game because it might be a good one. meaning a close one. semi sort of rivalry going here. tcu playing their usual good ball. smu in the doldrums sorta like my picks. the mustangs step it up this week. even so take tcu to win.

9/29 texas @ oklahoma st. thus far okie st has been unimpressive. at least texas has played FBS schools so far this year. maybe not the best of the FBS but not huey, dewey, and louie state either. the cowboys may step it up for this semi sort of state rivalry thing. none the less, take the longhorns to win.

9/29 mississippi @ alabama. ole miss is another school playing well so far. if this were a home game for them and depending on the points i’d probably take them. the reality is it isn’t a home game and i’m not doing points this week. take bama to win. ROLL TIDE!!

9/29 oregon st @ arizona. arizona got whupped big time last week by the ducks. the beaves prevailed in the heat against the bruins. call me crazy. take oregon st to win.

9/29 oregon @ washington st. pirate mike got beat by winless colorado last week. let’s see if he makes a decent showing against the ducks on saturday. even if he does the cougars won’t win. take oregon to win. QUACK QUACK !!

another week in the books. seared red meat and red wine are always a good idea for college football saturday. enjoy the games and try to remain sane. enjoy your week as well. i know we will. it’s a las vegas bon appetit week. woohoo!!



2 thoughts on “2012 college football picks & predictions week 5

    Cherokee Parks said:
    September 24, 2012 at 8:43 am

    Wow! You might actually go 50-50 this week, or even 6-4. But I certainly don’t intend on holding MY breath on it! HAH! Just kidding, pal. I’m not doing that much better on my NFL picks!

    john hauge responded:
    September 24, 2012 at 9:36 am

    thanks, i need the props! haha. guess we’ll wait and see what happens. the replacement refs are ruining the pro game and the boss doesn’t care.

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