2013 college football picks and predictions week 1

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week 1 of the college football season is finally, at last, rolling into town.  yours too if you’re paying attention. it’s been a long dry haul since the insipidness of the bowling season 8 or so months ago. lots of stuff has gone down since then.  first off, johnny football has proven to be a lame kid just like all the rest of the lame kids out there.  ok, so a rich lame kid. there really isn’t much difference.  rich poor no matter.  lameness crosses bank accounts with impunity.  i’m sure johnny boy will have a decent if not fine year at the a & m helm.  that is unless he gets hurt.  i would never wish that on anybody.  well, sure, ok. i can think of a few folks wandering the planet but trust me he ain’t one of them.  a & m has a pretty much lackluster schedule this year.  so, i’m assuming johnny won’t be in the heisman hunt down the road even if he plays lights out ball. though stranger things have been known to happen.  15 to 1 odds on a repeat trophy for him.  the big question about johnny is what will become of him when he turns pro??  peter king has questions and doubts.  me too. i figure he’ll probably end up like vince young.  bouncing around.  or maybe even joey harrington.  duck fans far and wide remember him. however, no one else does.  or maybe he’ll end up being another, god forbid, todd marinovich.  oofa, though todd seems to have turned things around life wise.  we wait and see.  good luck johnny football.  life is hard then everyone starts gunning for you. particularly gunning for you if you’ve had a few autograph sessions for pay.  of course, as of this writing, that hasn’t been proven by the ineffective NCAA and probably won’t ever be.  but one never knows.   
let’s see what else…ah, visor head kelly of the ducks is now in the nfl running things in philly.  league refs are already saying his quick draw mcgraw college offense won’t happen in their sandbox if they have any say in the matter.  poor guy should have probably stayed put in eugene.
then there’s lane kiffin of usc.  his boss, pat haden, says he stands behind him.  if i were pat i’d stay way behind him and off to the side a bit. because when the merde hits the fan, merde flies like the wind and hits stuff far and wide.  i like pat but he has no real choice in the matter.  he has to say nice things about lane until said merde begins to clog things up as it bounces around landing on stuff.  which may or may not take long to happen.  we wait and see.
also, the all knowing and semi forthright NCAA has decided to stop making money off of it’s football players.  no more selling brick-a-brack with players names on them.  a sound move on their part.  although it took the looming specter of court appearances to make them quit the practice.  i guess they aren’t as dumb as they seem.        
the usual rule changes have come down the pike over the lay off but we’ll hear way to much about them this weekend.  so i’ll leave the new rules and the endless blathering about them to the ever mindless talking TV heads.   we also have more of the usual let’s all play underwater basket weaving poly tech the first few weeks of the season.  hey, we’ll all win except for those of us who don’t.  yeah, that’s one college ball tidbit i’d love to see bite the dust.  though it probably won’t happen in my lifetime.  or yours either.  great grand kids as well. 
for my new readers, i pick 10 games every week.  games i care about or more to the point have some sort of interest in the outcome and or   watching the game on the tube.  i use vegas point spreads to pick my winners. usually the first spreads that come out for the current week.  if they change before game time i don’t care.  however, there are some weeks when i don’t use the spread due to life stuff.  that usually happens at least once or twice a season.  so, count on it at some point or another.  at any rate, over the years i’ve managed to stay just over 51% with my picks against the spread.  not spectacular but my head is above water.  hopefully, things stay that way this season.  
the important thing to remember is this insane drivel is for entertainment purposes only.  got it?  using anything gleaned here for sport betting purposes with anyone legal or illegal would be of the highest form of stupidity.  do not do it.  you have much more important things to do with your cash. sports betting is for chumps or pete rose.  though ol’ pete is getting the shaft at this point.  i digress.    
ok.  i think that pretty much covers things.  although i’m usually sorry i do the odds/spread deal the first few weeks of the season as things are generally not what they seem this early in the year.  my usual place for finding my spreads is being slow on the trigger this year.  the odds posted below are strictly vegas casino odds that came out on august 6 and i’ve done my usual averaging thing.  after checking again this morning the lines seem to be trending up for the most part.  though some of the games have disappeared.  odd.  no pun intended.  remember, my insanity is for entertainment purposes only.  let’s do this.
rock ‘n’ roll.  
8-29  usc @ hawaii.  usc favored by 22.5 points.  the men of troy had a fairly easy time with the warriors last year.  they might again this time around too.  though maybe norm chow is getting a handle on the job which will mean a tighter game.  we’ll have to wait and see.  though i doubt lane will begin the merde splashing this early in the season.  lots of points and the distractions of oahu thrown in for good measure and no starting QB at the end of camp for the trojans. this is probably a bad move but take usc to win and cover.  FIGHT ON!! 
8-31  boise st @ washington.  washington favored by 3.5 points.  a good game here kids.  lots riding on the line.  both schools need the win. boise st needs to run the table for any shot at some sort of last of the mohicans big dance BCS game.  the huskies need the win to jump start coach sarkasian’s handle on next year.  otherwise sark’s days might be numbered in washington.  the huskies get the home court 3 and that’s it.  boise usually wins their first outing.  take boise st to win or at least cover the meager spread. 
8-31  nevada @ ucla.  ucla favored by 20 points.  the bruins are the pre-season favorite to win the PAC (8) (10) 12 south.  they need to drop the year into drive and punch it against a decent wolf pack squad.  probably a scorcher of a day in pasadena.  who can handle the heat and who wants it more?  more points.  probably more than an opening day accounts for.  another bite the bullet.  take ucla to win and cover.
8-31  lsu @ tcu(at arlington, tx). lsu favored by 4 points.  what can you say?  other than the fact tcu needs this one big time.  an early season statement as it were.  another good game even if it isn’t being played on anyone’s home court.  i’m taking tcu to at least get inside the points. take them. 
8-31  georgia @ clemson.  georgia favored by 1 point.  if clemson wants to unseat the tide they need to start here.  do they even have what it takes?  we’ll see come the fourth quarter.  pretty much a toss up against a sleeping giant georgia squad.  who’s going places?  georgia or clemson?  take clemson to win.  
8-31  mississippi st @ oklahoma st. oklahoma st favored by 13 points.  the cowboys may or may not pull this one out.  miss st can be tough early in the year.  none the less, take the cowboys to win and cover.  
8-31  byu @ virginia.  byu favored by 3 points.  another tight game.  i’m taking byu to win and cover. 
8-31  northwestern @ cal.  northwestern favored by 6 points.  northwestern is coming off a good year last time around.  cal was their sad usual.  take northwestern to win and cover.
8-31  virginia tech @ alabama.  alabama favored by 19 points.  if this game was up in old virginny the oompahs just might have had a chance.
i have no idea where the ‘oompahs’ came from.  just run with it.  home court and the tide along with coach satan roll.  roll tide!!    
9-2  florida st @ pittsburgh.  florida st favored by 10.5 points.  florida st makes a point and a statement.  take florida st to win and cover.
for my money those are pretty much the only games worth mentioning or watching for week 1.  things don’t get much better week 2 for that matter. trust me.  ah well, the crappy pre-season college games that actually count.  along with the lame wheeze, losing early is better than losing late. hats off to the schools that are playing someone other than the danny rather school of yellow journalism and taxidermy tech the first week.  at least the season is finally almost under way.  enjoy the games and do your utmost to remain semi sane and semi conscious. toss some sort of protein on the barbie, enjoy a bottle or 3 of dago red, and your long labor day weekend will be set.  be safe.

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