yes, it’s bowl season once again. the tried and true template of post college football season insanity. psst, hey, mister, you want to buy cirque de soil tractor bowl tickets? cheap. ah yes, the clarion call of hucksters far and wide. the make it rain cash cow for everyone involved. that is of course, if you were lucky enough to be invited. no invite? no tickee? no laundry. no money. no nothing. better luck next year. now out of my way, son, i have huckstering to do.
have you ever noticed the half empty stadiums in the early bowls? hell, even some of the later ones as well. TV tries it’s best not to show you that sort of thing but with over 3 or 4 hours of air time it is hard not to catch whole sections of unsold seats at least once or twice during the game. these boondoggle bowl committees struggle along for a few years until they can con some other corporate sponsor into ponying up the cold hard cash for the opportunity to put their name on said turkey bowl. then the TV guys take over and pretend like it’s some brand new bowl instead of a sad cheap re-tread that’s gonna have a blow-out before it hits freeway speeds. the other now dead bowl is tossed on the trash heap of NCAA history. next!!!
we saw something very similar to the above with the PAC 12 championship game. empty seats. tons of them. neutral site games probably need to go away. how can any fan be stupid enough to spend the cash on a neutral site league championship game, a round one game, then maybe the final game? lots of traveling involved along with insane checkbook math, kids. but i guess no one cares because the TV money is so good. hey, let’s add another 4 teams to the mess.
it is just plain hard to work up any desire to sit through bowl games anymore. even if it’s just a TV game at home with a clean private restroom close by and pretty much whatever you want to eat and drink close at hand as well. plus, at prices far below what the hucksters demand. let alone buy a ticket and travel to some lack luster burg and sit on some cold hard plastic seat for four hours wondering if you locked the crappy safe in your hotel room when you left said hotel. say, did we put the laptops and return air tickets in the safe? yeah, when that thought hits you upside the head forget about the game. you might as well start walking home right then and there. walk? sure. wifey is probably not going to wire you any cash. not even bail money if you get even more stupid or crazed because she was never on board for this bowl outing to begin with.
hi, are you alright? you don’t sound good.
ah, yeah, well…there’s been a…ah…sorta problem.
what happened? are you in jail?
ah, jesus, baby i’m so sorry…
just get to the point.
yeah, well…someone stole our laptops and return flight tickets out of our room. then this uber car service guy takes sid and me…and…so we…
ended up in jail?
ah, yeah…i guess…
you guess? you are either in jail or not.
honey? aw come on honey. honey? shit. she hung up, sid.
yep, bowl season. money ball. lots of money ball. more cash than anyone can ever hope to carry. you’ve seen those guys with the furtive beady eyes all glassy and crazed dragging steamer trunks manacled to their wrists. yeah, them, wrestling those cash filled trunks down the street. they’re trying to find the alley they crawled out of and return to their rat holes for the next nine month so they can sit cackling madly as they count their cash windfalls. not a pleasant or pretty sight. you expected something else?
ok. so, the bowl games. i’ll give you some. not all of them because if you’re paying attention or even still reading you know what i think. no points. no spread. just a straight up pick. and just some of the bowls i might actually spend a few minutes watching. or just in passing. hey, it’s a bowl game. isn’t there a seinfeld re-run on somewhere? or what about that slew of house hunters on the DVR?
rock ‘n’ roll.
12-20 las vegas. sin city, nevada. utah vs colorado st. one of the early games i may actually watch. or part of it. two good teams both with decent records. this game is always a good draw for the folks in utah. sin city, a good place for anyone to kick out the jams. staying true to my PAC 12 homerism i like utah for the win.
12-20 potato. boise, idaho. western michigan vs air force. hey, anytime you can watch a hopefully dialed in falcon offense take the field you probably shouldn’t miss the opportunity. take air force.
12-27 sun. el paso, texas. arizona st vs duke. duke, eh? apparently they played well enough this year to get an offer. i guess we’ll find out if they’re for real or not. that is if the sun devils come to play. i lile the sun devils.
12-27 holiday. san diego, ca. nebraska vs usc. this is one of those bowls whose money name has been changed a few times over the years. with bo gone it will be interesting to see how well the huskers fair here. it will also be interesting to see how good of a job the sark does with the men of troy. usc of course. FIGHT ON!!!
12-30 music city. nashville, tenn. notre dame vs lsu. the domers limp into a bowl with perhaps the longest money title of them all. anyway it’s a good music and food venue. the domers need the win but i don’t see it happening. take lsu.
12-30 foster farms. santa clara, ca. maryland vs stanford. the trees with what is more or less a home game for them. i’m taking stanford.
12-31 peach. atlanta, ga. ole miss vs tcu. one to watch for a bit to see if the horned frogs throw down some points once again. i like tcu here.
12-31 fiesta. glendale, az. boise st vs arizona. a good game here and probably one i’ll watch for a while. a step up for the broncos for a change who i think will be up for the game. as for the wildcats, flip a coin as to whether they’ll show up to play. ok. take boise st.
1-1 cotton. arlington, texas. michigan st vs baylor. possibly a good game and if baylor had played the spartans earlier in the year and won things would have gone differently for them. flip a coin for the winner.
1-1 rose. pasadena, ca. oregon vs florida st. one the brown eyed girl and i will watch. perhaps even the entire game. after all, it is the grand daddy of em all and the ducks are playing in the game where i fell in love with them back in 1958. simple enough. take the ducks. QUACK QUACK!!!!
1-1 sugar. new orleans, la. alabama vs ohio st. after 3 or 4 days of bowl games with a couple more tomorrow i may or may not watch. i’ll probably feel more like watching ‘house hunters’ or ‘the property brothers’ on new years evening. even though one of these teams will be playing the ducks on jan 12. the buckeyes already have a number of fans pissed off because they’re in this game. fine with me. i hope they piss off a few more when they roll back the tide.
1-2 alamo. san antonio, texas. kansas st vs ucla. the L.A. Times did an article about why the bruins should turn down any bowl offers. apparently they didn’t read the paper that day. if the bruins do show up and are ready to play this could be a good game. if they don’t. well, then the Times was right. flip a coin.
1-12 national championship game. arlington, texas. ok. here’s the deal. 1) this game is played well over a month after the end of the regular season. 2) at this point i really don’t care who’s playing in it. unless the ducks are one of the teams. even if that is the case i still probably won’t watch any of it. hours and hours filled with a few seconds of football and much more time spent with TV commercials and blithering analysis than actual football. how anyone could sit through this is beyond me. especially in person. let alone watch live on TV. sure you could DVR the thing but why?? maybe the brown eyed girl and i will hit a local favorite for happy hour instead. a couple of drinks and great bar food. yeah, i’m sure it will be on all the TVs there but i won’t care. neither should you.
i had a few other bowls penciled in but scratched them from the list. yawners and not worth the time or effort. the first year of playoffs will be in the books in a little over a month. which for me is still a major problem. when, not if, they go to an 8 team playoff the championship game will probably be played around valentine’s day. all due to the TV money effect. a sad thing indeed. don’t believe me? i have 9 letters for you MLB, NBA and NFL.