Month: August 2015

2015 week 1 college football picks & predictions

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another year down the tubes. where do they go? but, hey, college football is back. finally. the long lay off is over and with it comes lazy saturdays, TV remote in hand and college football. it doesn’t get much better than that.

the important thing to remember here is that this mess is for entertainment purposes only along with an irreverent look at the game we all love, college football. using anything here as sage betting advise would be monumentally stupid on way too many levels. don’t do it. leave your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. simple as that.

one thing we should all be breathing a sigh of relief over is the fact the NLRB nixed college football players on being able to unionize. yes, thankfully it’s not going to happen. at least not anytime soon or until gloria allred decides it’s time to mess with the NCAA brass big time. my money is on that happening sooner rather than later. once the cosby circus crashes and burns she’ll be looking for other fish to fry. hell, there’s a couple of new lady army rangers these days. title lX, the SEC and a woman wanting to play college ball. count on it. ah, maybe we should all just let that riff fester on it’s own in the dark for the time being.

just like every other year, week 1 finds most schools playing the sisters of the poor or some other variation of the road kill scenario. sure, one of the sad sisters will more than likely pull off a huge upset or at the very least make it to close. way to close for some FBS squad. thus ensuring talking heads telling us it’s ok for the big time schools to schedule these exhibition games against high school JV teams. when will the insanity end? sadly, not anytime soon.

as usual i’m picking 10 games that i have some sort of interest in either watching or in the out come or both. i’m also still using a point spread conglomeration from several different places. the points here may change over the week but what is here is what i use to determine my win/loss record for the week. last year i ended the season with a 52.7% winning record. nothing earth shaking but this isn’t easy especially when your heart gets in the way while making the picks. something the odds makers and vegas count on. steve wynn didn’t get rich giving money away to gamblers.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9-3 n. carolina vs s. carolina. s. carolina favored by 3 points. it’s nice to see one of the first kick off games is also an attractive rivalry game. i tend to like these games more at the end of november. however, i’ll take what i can get this week. a semi slim line here. hopefully, the old ball coach and the gamecocks get it together this year and they start today. take s. carolina to win and cover.

9-3 michigan vs utah. utah favored by 5.5 points. the utes return a bunch of starters on offense and defense. they’re my sleeper PAC south team this season. and maybe one of the most under rated teams in the country. jim harbaugh’s first game as big blue’s head coach. along with too much going on in ann arbor or so it seems. utes on home turf and the need to start with a win make this easy. take utah to win and cover.

9-3 tcu vs minnesota. tcu favored by 14.5 points. tcu takes their preseason #2 into gopherland. from what i can figure out the coaching staff is counting on gopher faithful to make enough noise to turn the tide in their favor. ok. sure. yes, they had a few good wins last year. they start this season with a loss. take tcu to win and cover.

9-4 washington vs boise st. boise st favored by 12 points. chris petersen and his the huskies head back to his old home and the blue smurf turf in boise for game 1. i like coach petersen but i like the broncos more. yes, it makes no sense but week 1 is always a crap shoot. take boise st to win and cover.

9-5 virginia vs ucla. ucla favored by 17 points. a big day of football here in lotus land. the bruins at home early in the day the the trojans later. the bruins have played virginia in the opener for several seasons. they haven’t lost yet. no reason to think things will be different this time. take ucla to win and cover the points.

9-5 louisville vs auburn. auburn favored by 10.5 points. auburn at home is probably too much for the cardinals. probably too much even on their home turf. take auburn for win and cover.

9-5 arizona st vs texas a&m. texas a&m favored by 3 points. arizona st a preseason 15 and a 3 point under dog against an unranked a&m squad. go figure. be that as it may and a&m’s home field 3, take arizona st for the win or at the very least to crack the meager point spread.

9-5 texas vs notre dame. notre dame favored by 9.5 points. the domers come in at pre season 11. texas has fallen on hard times. touchdown jesus should prevail. take notre dame to win and cover.

9-5 arkansas st. vs usc. usc favored by 29.5 points. ok. sure. the men of troy play arkie st yet again in game 1. at least they aren’t playing them in the middle of november, coach satan. just saying. on the field the trojans look like contenders for the PAC(8)(10)12 title. said title may come down to the crosstown rivalry game in november with the bruins. time tells. off the field, sark is in a bit more than hot water with alums and big time boosters with his drunken antics at a booster shindig week or so ago. for one thing, it’s probably never a good idea for a head coach of a major FBS school to show up for anything while under the influence. you wanna get blown away? fine. stay home and sit in your basement and stay out of sight. at any rate, there is a possibility this could cost him his job. could there be underlying little head issues vs big head issues here? stay tuned. yes, the game. usc at number 8. hopefully, the sarks weirdness hasn’t rubbed off on the kids. a bunch of points but arkie state is once again, road kill. take usc to win and cover. FIGHT ON!!!

9-7 ohio st. vs virginia tech. ohio st favored by 11.5 points. the buckeyes at preseason #1. 3 words on everyone’s mind, can they repeat? if they are they need to start here on the road. i’m taking the buckeyes to win and cover.

there they are. the opening 10 for week 1. all things considered not a bad lot given the rest of the week 1 schedule. plus, it’s labor day weekend. if you actually have a job or are still working it means an extra day off. always a good thing. fire up the barbie and toss on some protein while hoisting a few flagons of dago red along with watching college ball. see you next week. be safe, be semi sane.

jmh

The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)

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ok. unfortunately i didn’t write this. as to who did write it, i haven’t a clue. i saw it someplace and noticed that it was politically incorrect and nicely written. so, i decided to put it up here in some sort of pissed off at the whole system type thing. if you don’t see the humor in it or the irony…well, then, you’re part of the problem.

jmh

The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)

President Barack Obama and Democrats in the House and Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

“Of course, all of these newly created jobs will be union jobs, Made in America!” says Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Rep Nancy Pelosi and Senator Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

“As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other lazy untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. #$%$ Durbin, IL: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a great salary for doing so.”

jmh

in the hills of beverly

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i’ll begin this epistle with why i’m here. sadly, the browned eye girl is in the hospital again here in BH. her slightly less than a year and a half old new hip fell apart due to several factors, which i’m not going into here. so, this was like her 16th or 17th surgery on that hip. we’ve both lost count. her current surgeon is world class and we’ve been onboard with him for the last 4 surgeries, counting this one. he’s pretty confident that this time around things will be different. so are we but if things can go sideways, the brown eyed girl seems to always be in the crosshairs. prayerfully, things will go her way this time. she is a trooper. and just one of the reasons i love her so much.

all that being said, the surgery went well, though she is in considerable pain at the moment. big time pain meds work, kids. and they aren’t anything to mess with unless under the watchful eye and care of several doctors. she’ll have go to rehab for possibly a week or so but we’ve been down that road before. she’ll be home soon for another 5 or 6 weeks of recovery and then we can start planning our next vegas trip.

as for me, last night i had dinner downstairs in the hotel restaurant. a very nice place and the food is very good. i was in the mood for some comfort food so i ordered spaghetti bolognese. it was outstanding. really good. when i was finished and as i was leaving i asked to speak with the chef. he came out and we chatted. i told him the bolognese was amazing and the best restaurant bolognese i’d ever eaten. but it still wasn’t as good as mine. he got a kick out of that. though i wasn’t kidding. we shook hands again and i went back into the bar.

i’ve stayed at this hotel a number times while the brown eyed girl has been in the hospital, as the place is convenient. with my number of stays i’ve become friends with some of the staff. all the bartenders, of course, and the food and beverage managers. the senior food and beverage guy in particular. we hit it off the first time we met. i’ve come to call him my brother from another grandmother. anyway, i’m sitting at the bar sipping some texas vodka on the rocks and my friend comes by and just like every time we first meet it’s like old home week even if it was last night.

we chat for a while and he says, let’s go sit in the lounge, i want you to meet my boss. i’m like sure ok. we go into the lounge area and his boss comes over. we meet and chat somewhat. nice guy. then he gets right to the point. he’s wondering if i would like to do a bolognese throw down with the chef. i’m like what? sure thing but i need to wait until the brown eyed girl can join me. he’s ok with that. no details as yet but i’ve appointed the brown eyed girl as my agent for the throw down.

so, a beverly hills chef, my friend the food and beverage manager, and me will duke it out some way or another in one of their kitchens and somehow somebody is gonna pick a winner. sweet. i hope they don’t mind losing. i’ll also be doing some recon this evening. i’m having the spaghetti bolognese again.

i wrote the above several days ago. the browned eyed girl has been moved to the acute rehab unit in the hospital and, so far, is doing much better. even with the pain. hopefully, she’ll be home by next weekend.

the bolognese recon went well and i’ll probably do another one this week. the throw down has been tentatively set for sometime in late october.

jmh