BCS championship

2013-14 college football bowl game picks & predictions

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at long last we finally see the BCS BS drift out to sea with the tide on a flaming funeral pyre worthy of king odin himself. adieu, sweet BCS. we come not mourn it but to bury it. ah well, cheap prose aside, the brinks trucks will still be backing up to off load their small, used, and completely laundered cash to all the deans, AD’s, conference commissioners, TV executives, and all the other assorted college football hangers-on across this once great land. however, one of the great axioms of life, be careful what you wish for, looms around the corner. though that corner won’t be around till next year at this time.

bowl season. the extracurricular college football season meant to line the pockets of everyone far and wide in the land of the halls of ivy. of course, if you haven’t played your cards right you’re left out in the bowl cold. no golden cash cow for you, pilgrim. perhaps next year. or the year after. the carrot is dangled. hope springs eternal in the gloomy halls of the have nots and wannabes. next year, kids. next year.

i used to love bowl games. not anymore. yeah, there’s a handful i’ll tune into every year but the list grows shorter with the passing of time. plus i have a new wrinkle, this year DISH has added HBO on demand to their menu. woo hoo. ‘the sopranos’ in their six seasons of glory all there for the viewing. i have something else to watch now instead of my meager few bowl games. works for me. pass the dago red. i only have until december 31st or that’s what they say before tony and crew vanish. sure, i’ve got the whole thing in a boxed DVD set. but who knows how to run a DVD player anymore? ours just sits there like some brick-a-brack collecting dust so the cleaning lady can make the occasional feeble stab at dusting it.

yes, i know. you aren’t here for that. you want a bowl line-up run down. fine with me. you’ll get one. not all of them but a few i may or may not actually tune into while waiting for the next episode of ‘the sopranos’ to download. another sad fact of life is most of the bowl games are junk junkets at best. crack whores dressed as sexily clad sirens luring hicks and hucksters alike to warmer climes. come. spend your cash. watch your team play some other 6 and 6 team. either team may or may not be into said bowl or even playing football this time of year. but who cares? not us. bring your money on down. be drunken sailors on leave for a few days or better yet, a week. so what if you end up with a DUI or herpes or a six inch gash on the back of your head from that full can of PBR lobbed in your general direction during half time while you stood in line for 25 minutes so you could pee in a trough urinal with 10 or 15 of your new best friends. sweet. it doesn’t get any better than that. right? boy howdy, i’ll wager not.

it’s all about the money, kids. with some other stuff thrown in for good measure. football is on the list. somewhere. you may have to do some digging and if you’re very lucky you may even find it. off the top of my head i’m thinking you’ll probably find jimmy hoffa before you’ll find any football.

i don’t waste my time with points or spreads or whatever with the bowl games. just straight up picks. for those that are still reading and maybe even care a tad my overall percentage for my picks this season ended up at 61.3%. a good 10 points above my usual mediocrity.

rock ‘n’ roll.

12-21 las vegas bowl. fresno st vs usc. i may watch this game. or some of it. to bad cajun ed isn’t still around. the sark hire by the trojans is a head scratcher for sure. take the trojans. FIGHT ON!!!

12-30 alamo bowl. oregon vs texas. the ducks need to win this game in order to quell the ‘it’s a coaching problem’ talk. QUACK!!! QUACK!!!

12-31 sun bowl. virginia tech vs ucla. coach mora got a wagon load of money to stay at ucla. if he hadn’t he would have replaced sark in seattle. take ucla.

12-31 chick-fil-a bowl. miami vs texas a&m. one i’ll probably watch. it’s either johnny boys last college game or he begins his heisman campaign anew. hopefully, the month lay off hasn’t raised more issues with his off field behavior. take the aggies.

1-1 capital one bowl. s. carolina vs wisconsin. i’m hoping the capital one guys will be trotting out some new commercials as they’re generally good for a few laughs. the game? take the badgers.

1-1 the rose bowl. michigan st vs stanford. the grand pappy of em all. one i usually watch or at least some of it anyway. though no matter how snooty the bib and tucker crowd in pasadena tries to make the day it’s just another lackluster stab at debauchery and the dry heaves while running for some faded roses who’s smell was bred out of them years ago. there’s a kentucky derby simile in there some place. le gran pooh bah. the stale old vichy french could do no better. as the day drags on i suppose a game lurks about somewhere. the PAC(8)(10)12 vs the BIG 10(12)(?). the storied rivalry of your great grandparents played on the first day of the new born year. the san gabriel mountains glisten in the winter sun as a backdrop. they actually do turn purple as the sun sinks into the pacific. every year i pray for a deluge of biblical proportions if only to stem the tide of snowbirds fed up with their snow and cold. sadly,rain hasn’t happened in decades on jan 1. besides it’s already to late. that train left the tracks back in the early 60’s. however, it won’t stop me from my yearly ritual. the game? screw it. at this point who cares? not i, pilgrim. not i. however, if you do take stanford for the win.

1-6 BCS championship game. florida st vs auburn. the last one of it’s kind. ever. or that’s the thinking. though i guess there’s a possibility of it returning if the next deal doesn’t pan out. get real, that is a possibility. lots of stuff returns. kinda like the ‘touristas’ if you aren’t careful. hmmm. i don’t much care for this game and haven’t watched it in years. neither should you. why? it happens way too long after the season is over. plus, i’ll be busy getting ready for elvis’ birthday on the 8th. come on over. there’ll be drinks. way way to much fattening food. bowl upon bowl of all manner of pills. maybe even some demerol. that by the way is all a joke. i digress. the game itself is one long TV commercial with a few moments of football tossed in every once in a while. you could DVR it and watch it later but why? meh. let’s see. the rose bowl committee, escorts, and strippers from all over the world get another shot at fleecing the poor folk who come into town for the game. yeah, it off loads plenty of cash into the local economy. but you have to ask yourself, is it all worth it? probably not. yes, the chambers of commerce scalawags would argue otherwise. that’s their prerogative. and job. mine is to avoid them and their ilk whenever possible. i won’t be watching but i’d take florida st to win.

thanks for reading this and all my other football insanity this year. some of you get it. others, well, you know. i hope all of you have a joyous and merry christmas season. i hope santa brings you everything you want. sure why not? right? i also hope you have a healthy and prosperous new year. be safe. be semi sane. i’ll see you in nine months or so.

jmh

college football playoffs ~ a new look

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the fools that are currently running, or more to the point, ruining college football have finally decided after much hand wringing and assorted weird juju they want to see playoffs in college football. though of course, we’re told not to hold our breath because they really aren’t so sure about any of it just yet. especially the big 10 or 12 or whatever it is these days. god forbid anything should just happen with those people.

at any rate, whatever the anointed finally decide upon will be stupid to be sure and as pointless as the current system. the brand new current system will be just as pointless and moribund in stupidity as the old system. plus the fact that at some point they will totally screw whatever they come up with up. you can count on that.

i’ve never been a fan of playoffs in college football. i’m old and old school. however, with all the league’s running amok and teams jumping leagues trying to catch the golden ring at the end of the season for a shot at the championship game. i’ve become pissed and disgruntled by the whole vapid experience. screw the deans, regents, commissioners, assorted other flacks, hangers on, big TV money, and the strippers they support. oh, and the damn bowl committees as well. i barely care anymore about them and the game they are hell bent on ruining. well, almost.

what would i do if i were running things? screw league play. it’s a waste of time and i’d dump it. i’d use college basketball’s march madness tourney model and adapt it to college football. sure why not? if you’re going to mess stuff up you may as well go for it. why just tweak and muddle stuff when you can toss out the baby along with the bath water at the same time? start all over as it were. begin anew.

ok. 64 teams. when you actually look closely at college football you’ll probably find only 64 FBS teams that are consistently good teams year in and year out. as for the rest of the schools who cares? right? they can do whatever they want except join this tournament. you take those 64 teams and they play one another in week 1. week 2 you have 32 teams left. by week 3 there are 16 teams remaining. now just to mix stuff up a bit you take the 32 teams who lost in week one and they all play each other in a double elimination round robin tournament while all the other games are going on. they would get down to 16 teams as well at some point or maybe 8 or 4. it would just depend on how crazed you wanted to get doing this playoff mode and how many weeks you want the season to be.

at any rate, i figure that by around thanksgiving you’d end up with 8 teams. 4 that went undefeated in their quest and 4 teams from the first 32 to be eliminated. those 8 teams would play each other and you’d end up with the four schools the deans and other related goofballs are now willing to tolerate in a 4 team playoff. pretty simple, right? damn straight it is. probably too simple for the simpletons running the show.

i say we give it a shot and see what shakes out. after all we could just go back to the old deal if this plan bombs. though i doubt it will. plenty of games on TV and the long suffering fans won’t have to sit through weeks of FBS teams playing crappy jr college squads, or worse, pick up teams composed of yahoos stupid enough to go up against ham handed drugged up college kids on football scholarships like they do now. it’s the proverbial win win if there ever was one. i can see it now and it’s a good thing.

jmh

pretty sweet and happy feet

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yesterday morning i was googling around trying to see if my facebook account had really been de-activated like they said it would. the reason being someone had come to this place via an old link in facebook. ah, no matter. what does matter was this link i stumbled upon.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/stewart_mandel/01/09/lsu-alabama-bcs-title-nation-divided/index.html

for some reason i’m unable to get the link thing to work right. mea culpa. just copy and paste the above into your browser. sorry for the trouble.

i suppose it’s a always a good thing to be the lead in a sports illustrated column written by stewart mandel. the only thing better would have been seeing it back in january when it was first published.
how did i miss it? i guess because i had no real interest in the game or the teams. so the pre-game hype and analysis meant nothing to me.

at any rate, stewart missed my point. sure at least 50% of the college football world was unhappy with the championship matchup or rematch or whatever. the point being is we need playoffs in DIV 1 college football. at the end of the season we were tossed a few kernels of corn pone by various league commissioners. we’re going to fix it. fear not. yeah, right. sigh.

after their winter meeting and stripper scavenger hunt was over nothing had changed. other than a few bs rule changes. they had resorted to their usual mantra and treachery yet again. no playoffs. we have finals then. the sacred bowl games and related skimming involved with them. millions and millions out there for the hoarding. we already play 12 games there’s just no time. we’re left at the phony alter of change once again, pilgrims. jilted and abused like a red headed stepchild.

let’s look at things a bit closer since the commissioners can’t seem to do it. the first two weeks of the season at least 85% of the schools play DIV 1A teams or even DIV 2 schools. some even toss in a couple of games against junior college teams or so it seems. then there’s the fact ALL of the schools get a week off during the season. if they stopped playing eastern mid-west jimi hendrix junior college teams they’d have the time for playoffs. they also don’t need a week off. they are football players for crying out loud. supposedly being tough is part of the package. oh right, they’re only tough when they foist themselves upon their fellow students and rip them off or assault them.

it’s a sad world we live in, kids. however, we can change things. we have the power. college football lives and thrives on money. big money. TV money. we don’t watch their inbred half empty bowls they’ll go away and we’ll get a playoff system. count on it.

jmh

2011-12 college bowl games picks & predictions

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with the regular season over the only thing we fans have left are the season ending bowl games. a little bit of pre holiday and post holiday magic. games gift wrapped up by the ever increasingly omniscient BCS. the big brother of the college football world that can never seem to get things right. this year even more so. we sit and argue the last few weeks of the season knowing full well who should be playing where and against whom only to be trumped and dumped on by the BCS klan and TV money.

make no mistake, it’s all about the money. as you are reading this insanity dump trucks the size of rhode island and belly dumpers twice the size of oahu are being loaded up with tons and tons of cash. used bills with nothing larger than a twenty are being shoveled into the trucks then sent on their way to the deans and regents of pretty much ever school of higher learning in the land. yeah, small used bills with non sequential serial numbers and none of them wrapped with those pesky bands either. for you see, the deans and regents like to wallow buck ass naked in and amongst the used cash. TV folks on the other hand prefer bills no smaller than a cee note. the newer and crisper the better. of course, all properly counted and banded for them. it makes it easier to wire transfer stuff that way. banded currency flows down the wires and out to those off shore accounts much quicker. it also makes it easier to disappear that way. penn and teller are jealous of the speed and greed of the self serving TV crowd.

i’ve been saying this for a few years now. you want playoffs? the BCS doesn’t. no matter what they say. the deans, regents, and comissioners? hell no they don’t. TV? surely you jest. the coaches? another slippery bunch as well. they actually like the current system despite anything they say to the contrary concerning playoffs. why? everybody going to one of the antiquated bowls gets another 21 days more or less of practice. 21 more days of practice the left out bunch doesn’t get. 21 days of sanctioned NCAA one ups man-ship over the also rans. see? no one really wants a playoff system.

too much money slopping around. plenty of lip service and out right balderdash from the deans and regents. who along with the TV folks and antiquated bowls want nothing more than the lip service and loads of balderdash. there are way too many hot needy strippers who need the money doled out by this bunch of crazed fools bent on out drinking a flotilla of sailors on shore leave. they’re all a sad bunch indeed. we on the other hand sit on our hands and enable all those dumb asses. you want playoffs? it’s very simple, kids. and i’m going to keep at it until everyone out there gets it. stop the madness. stop buying tickets to these bowl games. if no one shows up for the games they’ll go away. eventually. perhaps even more important stop watching them on TV. you folks do that they’ll for sure go away and bingo here come the playoffs. it’s not brain surgery people. it’s simple math with a playoff system at the end of the rainbow. suck it up and just do it.

the feds aren’t going to help because they’re just as greedy and corrupt as all of the deans, regents, commissioners, and TV dimwits combined. get over that idea. they can’t even manage the stuff they ought to be doing. let alone ‘fixing college football’. yeah, they’ll fix it alright. fix it right out of existence. then tell us that’s what we really wanted in the first place because football is violent and promotes winning. two very evil things to be sure.

yeah, ok. you came here to read about ‘your’ team and what someone thinks about their chances of wining one of these useless turkeys. fine i’ll pander to some of you. why not? you won’t be getting all of the games because 90% of them are unwatchable at best. no one cares other than you. just remember this is for fun and entertainment purposes only. no spreads or points or any of that stuff here. just straight up win or lose.

rock ‘n’ roll.

12/17 new mexico bowl. temple @ wyoming. interesting because wyoming is playing some good football. also interesting because only a few years ago temple was the worst college team in the country. i’ll take wyoming.

12/17 new orleans bowl. san diego st @ la lafayette. i’m a so calif homer. too bad the aztecs are stuck in this mess of a game. enjoy bourbon st kids but don’t forget there’s a game to play. take san diego st.

12/22 maaco bowl. arizona st @ boise st. might be a decent match up. kellen moore will have already been hosed by the heisman voters so he has nothing to lose. take out the bowl insurance policy and keep him in the whole game for a change coach petersen. take boise st.

12/24 hawaii bowl. nevada @ s. mississippi. only interesting in the fact it will be possibly fun to see if s. miss can get up for another game. take the golden eagles.

12/29 alamo bowl. washington @ baylor. baylor gets a shot at walking all over the huskies. come on sark make it a game, please. take baylor.

12/30 pinstripe bowl. iowa st @ rutgers. big apple thugs are looking forward to the iowa hayseeds flocking to the big city for this one. rutgers gets the nod in order to get the ‘home’ crowd out and in the seats. iowa st thumps rutgers handily.

12/31 fight hunger bowl. illinois @ ucla. the bruins back into another game. this one sans slick rick. they get a gimme from the BCS clowns and the PAC 12 gets a bit more cash in their christmas stocking. amazing. take illinois just because.

1/2 ticket city bowl. houston @ penn st. houston gets a shot at redemption. just remember you must actually play the game in order to receive it, houston. oh alright, take houston.

1/2 rose bowl. wisconsin @ oregon. the granddaddy of them all. i fell in love with the ducks back in 1958 when they lost to ohio st or maybe it was wisconsin in the rose bowl. doesn’t matter really. i still love them. memo to visor head kelly, erase both loses in the ducks other recent bowl games with a win here. you’ll also have to get the team to play much better than they did against the bruins. can you please make a PAC 12 homer proud? thanks in advance. QUACK QUACK!!!!

1/2 fiesta bowl. stanford @ oklahoma st. probably a good game. or maybe the best of the lot. the cowboys hosed by the BCS chumps should be fighting mad. good luck trees. take the cowboys. andrew, take out the insurance. you just might need it.

1/9 BCS championship. alabama @ lsu. the game only the SEC wants to see. the rest of the country be damned. talking heads and the BCS get it all wrong one more bloody time. i love the tide but they played some backwater school in week 13 then sat out week 14. none the less ipso presto facto they end up here in a rematch with lsu. yawn. one i won’t be watching. if you want playoffs you shouldn’t watch this either. time to send a message to all involved in this sordid mess of a system. DON’T WATCH THIS GAME. PERIOD. it’s not even interesting to begin with as it’s a repeat. re-run. re-tread. screw em.

there ya go. merry christmas and happy new year. these are the only bowl games that i have some sort of vague interest in watching. though i probably won’t even watch many of them. the rest of the bowls? no interest what so ever. i don’t care and neither should you. shame on you for sitting around watching this crap foisted upon us by all the greed heads involved. take a stand and turn off your TV and don’t buy tickets to any of the games. it’s the only way the point will ever get across to the numb nuts involved.

jmh