rants

2015 week 7 college football picks & predictions

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we hit mid season this week or something very close to it. utah is still riding high and for those that missed it, they’ve been my PAC 12 team to win it all this season since their win at the las vegas bowl last december. here’s hoping they continue their undefeated run. only five games this week. i could have added others but why? mostly because i have no interest. bama and a&m? florida lsu? i don’t think so.

always remember this is for irreverent and at times irrelevant entertainment purposes only. nothing more nothing less. only a fool would take anything seen here and use it as sage gambling advice.

i did manage to watch the last four or five minutes of the nebraska wisconsin game last saturday. pretty exciting stuff. nice win for coach riles and the cornhuskers. perhaps more TV to come for me this week.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10-15 ucla @ stanford. the bruins need a win here to put a stop to their PAC south conference standing hemorrhaging. the trees on the other hand are flying high in the north PAC. at least mora and company get to escape the so far never ending ‘indian summer’ of the southland for a few days. a nice thursday night diversion if you’re of a mind. the first of 2 in a row for the bruins. coach mora isn’t pleased.

10-17 michigan st @ michigan. one of the best rivalries in the nation as it’s consistently year in and year out a good game. harbaugh seems to have things ironed out after big blues opening loss to utah. the defense in particular. home turf make it big blues game to lose.

10-17 tcu @ iowa st. this game is my upset special. it’s another year but once again it’s the cyclones time to shine. sure they’re playing tcu. so? your point? iowa st isn’t going to any post season bowl game. not even some klunker early bowler where 3/4 of the stands are empty. this is their bowl game and time for them to make a statement. this is also for my departed pops although he was more of a hawkeye fan. get some state.

10-17 usc @ notre dame. ( what follows was written yesterday morning. by now you’ve all probably heard the sark was placed on an indefinite leave deal. the only thing i have to say is: why wasn’t coach ed o given the job in the first place? ) on paper the trojans should have a better team than the one that has already lost two games this season. there’s even talk and a poll that suggest the trojan faithful have given up on the sark. from my point of view he was a head scratcher at best when he was hired. the guy that beat him last saturday would have made a bit more sense. as for the poll when i cast my fire him vote there were around 1,300 votes to fire him and a few hundred to keep him. lets just say, if he loses to the irish saturday there will probably be a much bigger spread than the one that’s already there in the poll. good luck, sark, you’re gonna need it. another legendary rivalry game. one i may even watch a portion of.

10-17 arizona st @ utah. this is the beginning of utah’s tough rest of the season foray into the PAC(8)(10)12 belly of the beast south. with some north PAC testers tossed in for good measure. a late afternoon west coast game up against the trojans and irish for TV ownership. that is a tough nut to crack but i’ll be along for the utah TV ride this week as well. after their win last week the utah bandwagon added a few more wagons to their train. they push on again this week for another win.

as we muddle and bumble our way into WWIII…be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2015 week 6 college football picks & predictions

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week 5 was somewhat interesting with georgia imploding along with the bruins and several other teams across this once great land. perhaps we’ll see more of that in week 6. ┬ámy streak still holds, i haven’t watched anymore than a couple of minutes in passing of any of the games this year. how much longer can i hold out? can i go the entire season never watching any of the games? time tells. though when utah plays the trojans or the bruins that will probably change things.

as the football year heads into cooler weather, at least the nights are here in lotus land. it’s important to remember this is for entertainment purposes only. no points. no spreads. no overs or unders as well. and most of the time not even winners so far. just the irreverent ramblings of a semi sane old retired guy and vietnam veteran.

only two games this week. i may even pick winners this time around. what can i say?

rock ‘n’ roll.

10-8 washington @ usc. as i’m writing this it’s rainy and a bit chilly here in lala land. by this thursday the rains will be gone and the heat will start to ramp up again heading up into the high 90’s by saturday. accompanying the heat will be santa ana winds or as some folks say san tana winds. either way very hot, very dry and very windy. with the early rain maybe the mountains in these parts won’t go up in flames as they’re apt to do this time of year with the combination of the devil winds and assorted pyro fruitcakes wrecking havoc tossed in for good measure. yes, of course, a major veer right off edge of one of the switchbacks heading up into the mountains that make up most of the backdrop here in socal. the game? sure, sc had a week off coming after a nice win against asu. the huskies are pretty much also rans once again. as coach petersen is having a hard time getting his kids to adjust to actually listening to their coach and taking what he’s saying and putting it to some use. like playing div 1 football. usc should have their way with the huskies.

10-10 cal @ utah. is cal really for real? or just another georgia type poser? perhaps, as they’ve won everything up to this point. however, a one point win against a crappy longhorn squad isn’t my idea of anything nearing a quality win. the utes are finally showing up on other folks radar as a contender. espn’s game day is even heading to utah and spending a couple of days and nights in mormon country. boy howdy. stranger things have happened but the bears could possibly maybe might even win though i highly doubt it. things don’t ramp up for the utes for another couple of weeks. utah wins and their bandwagon rolls on collecting more talking heads along the way to their destiny. the big dance at the end of the season. i’ve been on said wagon since their 2014 vegas bowl win.

be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2015 week 4 college football picks & predictions

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welcome to week 4 of the 2015 college football season. just when you think things can’t get any worse, they do. what is going on here? the buckeyes are playing the wheels fell off my skateboard tech and bama is playing JFK it’s a conspiracy state. all of this going on in week 4. WTF!! to be fair they aren’t the only ones still on the pad my wins bandwagon. a bandwagon that’s gotten completely out of hand. yes, it’s become my mantra. it should be yours as well.

ok. so, of the vast number of games this week in the FBS world i could only find 4 games worth a hoot or something i may or may not even watch. though this could be the week i actually do watch a game. the jury is still out.

what i do have are 7 west coast or sorta west coast teams and one from the midwest. six of the teams are PAC(8)(10)12 schools. yeah, i’m a homer but regular readers already know that. what can i say?

once again there are no lines, points or anything else to get in the way. perhaps not even picking a winner. though that is kinda like kids soccer or t-ball these days. ah, well, sue me.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9-26 byu @ michigan. byu appears to be for real this season even with their loss to the bruins last week. good luck big blue.

9-26 ucla @ arizona. the wildcats ran over some road kill 3 or 4 times last week. the bruins on the other hand actually played some football.

9-26 usc @ arizona st. the sun devils had some trouble with 2 chump change state teams the past two weeks. while the men of troy blew another one against the trees. this one isn’t that interesting anymore.

9-26 utah @ oregon. the ducks had a week off. maybe they even went shopping for a defense. however, they can put some points on the board. the utes do have a defense to go along with an offense. if utah can pull off a win here they’ll be well on their way to causing major mayhem in the PAC south and north. good for them. get some utes.

be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2015 week 3 college football picks & predictions

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yes, i’m back. if only to bash the powers that be in college football. yeah, like they care. there is definitely something wrong with college football when you get to the third week of the season and FBS schools are still playing tweaker st or squads from a league you’ve never heard of. yes, of course, it’s all about the money and padding your win loss record with hopefully, 3 extra wins. because when the end of november rolls around and the christmas lights go up the talking heads, or more to the point, shills for the NCAA will be hoping you’ve forgotten all about the first 3 weeks of the season. why do these games even count?

why indeed? sure some of them should. it’s simple if you played someone who’s an FBS school and they have actually won more games than they lost for a couple of years running then the games count. playing red dwarf nebula moving and storage tech should not count in any sane persons world. right? of course it is. that would be true even if they have a solid winning record against other sisters of the poor schools.

but wait you say, what about the perennial doormats in all of the decent leagues? sure, not much you can do about that except kick them to the curb or perhaps…the big 5. yeah, maybe that one should make another entrance. i wasn’t a fan the first time around but maybe just maybe if they toss out the road kills and only play against each other i probably wouldn’t mind.

i could only find six games to even consider bothering with for this week. a sad thing. there aren’t going to be any points or spreads or any of that nonsense. it’s too time consuming and i just would rather not deal with it any more. i may or may not even pick a winner.

i haven’t watched any of the games so far this year. although that might change this week. we’ll see.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9-19 air force @ michigan st. i’ve always liked the airedales because if they have the right mix of players they can be a joy to watch. are they up for the spartans? very possibly. if the ducks had a smidgen of a defense this year the spartans might be sitting at 1-1. maybe a good game.

9-19 georgia tech @ notre dame. once again georgia tech is a ranked team. i guess we’re already supposed to have forgotten their first two record padding wins. the domers will probably throw up 30 plus. can tech do the same? yawn.

9-19 auburn @ lsu. auburn got lucky last week. very lucky. if a major storm doesn’t hit the gulf coast this week the game may actually be played.

9-19 stanford @ usc. the trojans have trampled their sacrificial lambs in week 1 and 2 with some impressive offensive fireworks. this week brings an old PAC(8)(10)12 nemesis into lotus land. if sc is for real this year it shouldn’t be a problem. one of the games i may even watch.

9-19 ole miss @ alabama. ole miss ran over fresno st last week and left them nothing more than a grease spot on the road. i used to love the tide but not anymore. coach satan rubs me the wrong way. get some ole miss.

9-19 byu @ ucla. it looks like byu is for real this year. well, so far. at least the bruins didn’t go completely road kill st the first 2 weeks. this could be good. another one i may watch.

be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)

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ok. unfortunately i didn’t write this. as to who did write it, i haven’t a clue. i saw it someplace and noticed that it was politically incorrect and nicely written. so, i decided to put it up here in some sort of pissed off at the whole system type thing. if you don’t see the humor in it or the irony…well, then, you’re part of the problem.

jmh

The Americans With No Abilities Act (ANAA)

President Barack Obama and Democrats in the House and Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”

“Of course, all of these newly created jobs will be union jobs, Made in America!” says Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid.

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Rep Nancy Pelosi and Senator Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”

“As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other lazy untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. #$%$ Durbin, IL: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a great salary for doing so.”

jmh

armed and dangerous

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it’s not quite mid march but you’d never know it by the weather outside. the devil winds are howling and record high temps are expected to fall over the weekend. just another year in the lingering california drought. with it being so hot and with the skin crawling santa ana winds blowing it reminds me of a time back in the mid 1980s. when one savage beast had southern california curling up with loaded shotguns at night. the beast being, richard ramirez, or more commonly known as, ‘the night stalker’.

over the years southern california has had it’s share of deranged murders and serial killers. a genuine motley crew of bat shit wackos and satan wannabes. hell, the whole state for that matter especially when you toss in the zodiac killer from up in the bay area. i digress.

the night stalker began his reign of terror in the spring of 1984. by the summer of 1985 the land of the lotus was in a downright semi siege mentality. myself included. it seemed as if the night stalker was striking at least once a week. from one bucolic suburb to another. another family or couple murdered while they slept. or murdered while the mate was made to watch. the night stalker made charlie manson and his gang seem almost tame. charlie after all had a beach boy as a friend. but he still had murderous mayhem in his heart.

as the summer of the stalker plodded on for sometime it became more apparent that local cops all over the southland were pretty much clueless as to what the hell was going on. hence, sleeping with a weapon became the norm to anyone with an ounce of sense. especially for those of us who weren’t about to give up sleeping with a window or door open no matter what insanity was befalling the various communities.

at the time, i had a winchester defender which i kept fully loaded and in bed with me. not the first time that had occurred. in vietnam a loaded M-16 and two hundred rounds of ammo were always at my bedside. one never knew when insanity would hit the fan and running around looking for a weapon was not an option. ever. at any rate, before hitting the sack that summer with the shotgun i’d set up trip wires to various homemade early warning devices. making sure they were loud enough to wake me up. not that a really sound sleep was going to happen. regardless.

eventually the police got a fairly decent description of the stalker from those who had survived his rampage and his police sketch was plastered all over the TV 24/7. on arriving back to socal from one of his bus trips to his home state of texas a few street vatos recognized him and kicked the crap out of him while the cops were being called. sadly, they were unable to finish the job before the cops arrived. he was, of course, convicted and sent to death row where he would still be living today if he hadn’t died of cancer back in 2013. karma is a bitch. and also very handy at times. yes of course, the hand wringers among us here in the great state of chaos got the death penalty squashed a while back. making karma our only hope for any retribution when it comes to murderers. be they be simple run of the mill types or straight from the bowels of hell types.

the record breaking march heat, wind and drought brought back the dread of that long ago but never to be forgotten socal summer. vivid memories of tossing and turning searching for slumber and peace.

further inspiration provided by today’s Power Plant Men blog, “Lizzie Bordan meets Power Plant Man”.

jmh

LD(C)DS

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in order to bring something new to the table and get chinanski off the front burner i’m tossing this in to replace it. don’t get me wrong, i dearly love me some chinanski. but it’s time to move along here. this piece could probably be considered for mature audiences only. or immature audiences only. far be it for me to judge. yeah, right. you’ve been warned.

they call him, ‘little dick’, although, of course, not to his face. that would probably be stupid. the little dick moniker was a result of him owning a pick-up truck. not your run of the mill off the lot pick-up but one of those, let’s see just how really stupid we can make this ride, kind of pick-ups. jack it up to the point that even a normal size person would need a step stool or small ladder to get into the cab. then tack on some huge rims and tires and a winch on the front bumper and you had your classic ‘little dick’ ride. a sort of money pit for vehicles. and a totally useless piece of gas guzzling crap. why anyone would do that to a perfectly good pick-up truck never made any sense to me. other than the fact they all have little dicks and seem to need to make some sort of amends for their short comings as it were. or something.

why indeed? any rate, all the little dicks would say it was for off roading or some such utter nonsense. nonsense because for the most part the bottom half of the frame stays pretty much where it has always been even after thousands of dollars had been spent raising the truck to absurd levels. at any rate, there are any number of little dick trucks out on the road at any time. loud rumbling monsters more suited for something other than a quick trip out for a loaf of bread. however, suited for what is the question.

certainly not as a babe magnet. to even think such would be insane. let’s just say for example, you have a date with heidi klum or jennifer lawrence. fine. you roll up to pick them up in your little dick ride. ah, yes. the date is over before it even began. point. set. match.

another odd thing about little dick trucks, or maybe not, is the fact you rarely see anyone else in the thing other than the said little dick owner. yeah, sometimes maybe some other guy riding shotgun. obviously some other little dick with little money and just riding along for the vicarious feeling that maybe this will make his dick bigger as well. this also falls under, wishful thinking.

it’s a rare thing to see a female passenger in a little dick truck. very rare. and i’m guessing that’s probably for the all too obvious reasons. that being said, you often see women or girls or females driving their own little dick trucks. however, in their equally sad case they are known as, little clits. this doesn’t occur as often as the guy little dick thing but still it happens. little clits are out there none the less. make no mistake. you also don’t see many passengers riding along with the little clits other than maybe some other little clit or perhaps some little dick. what’s the saying? birds of a feather flock together or fuck together.

ok. so, the purpose of this missive has been to bring attention to the all to prevalent, LD(C)DS, little dick deficit syndrome and it’s sister, little clit deficit syndrome. you can make a game of it if you wish. when you’re out and about with the family the first person to see a LD(C)DS and call out ‘little dick or little clit’ scores a point. whoever has the most points by the time you get to where you’re going wins. pretty simple really.

perhaps a telethon is in order. maybe john travlota and tom cruise as co-hosts.

jmh