box cars and snake eyes re-visited

sunrise was still twenty minutes away but on the horizon the sky had turned a muted gold with a pale turquoise above it. the man was vaguely aware of this. sleep, alcohol, and probably a good amount of smoke made it very hard for the man to welcome the new day with any enthusiasm. laying in bed half sleep he could see the colored morning sky and the leafless trees through his bedroom window. for some reason that sight bothered him though his hangover prevented him from putting a finger on exactly why it did.

the bedroom and probably the rest of the house still smelled of last nights dinner. garlic, rosemary, and fried chicken. he yawned. stretched. then rolled over to give his emma a good morning kiss, and if she was awake, to thank her again for last nights wonderful meal. he realized the other half of his bed was empty. cold to the touch as well.

this jolted the man fully awake. he threw off the bed covers and sat up.

‘emma? emma?’

no answer. as he fumbled around for his underwear and sandals he wondered where she was.

‘emma? emma? hey, you here? emma?’

it was way too early for any sort of shopping adventures even for her. what was going on? where was she? the man was out of bed and semi dressed as he made his way out of the bedroom. he was still calling his wife’s name as he went from room to room. spotting his old pickup through the second bedroom window he knew emma couldn’t be far away.

‘emma? emma? come on girl. where are you?’

he was in the kitchen. the smell of last nights dinner was very strong there. dinner dishes and a cast iron frying pan sat dry in the rack beside the sink. his truck was still out back so maybe she had gone up to the country store on the corner. early for that but, well, maybe. he got to the back door and then he heard it. a car parked out on the dirt driveway. the man moved aside the curtain to get a better look outside. he saw the car. it’s motor softly idling and it’s exhaust as thick as smoke in the cold morning air.

that was it. very cold outside. trees with no leaves. it had been late spring yesterday. hadn’t it? warm with meadowlarks singing. emma had made fried chicken for dinner. he grabbed both sides of the backdoor jam to steady himself. looking through the small window he stared at the car. it was a limo. a very pretty blond woman wearing a chauffeurs hat sat behind the wheel. next to her in the front seat sat keith richards of the rolling stones he was wearing a semi sort of smile on his craggy face. he raised both hands in a gesture that could only mean, who else would it be? keith’s smile grew into a huge grin and then the man heard the all to familiar cackling coming from the enclosed limo.

it was happening again. that was for sure. but why? deja vu all over again? the man stepped into the cold winter morning to meet his fate while he and his heart ached for his long dead emma.

as he walked toward the idling limo the passenger side door opened. keith’s cackling laughter had died away. walking around the open door he noticed that the old stone was apparently sleeping. or more likely passed out. he heard the driver speak in a soft voice with a slight german accent.

‘good morning, sir. please, get in. i’m afraid you’ll be alone until keef wakes up.’

sticking his head inside the car he said.

‘hmmm. yeah, at least you said, please. look, um, i just woke up and i’m not really dressed for a road trip. what’s the deal? where are we going? who wants me now? and why?’

he stopped talking when he noticed the pretty blond just staring at him.

‘ah, christ. i haven’t even had my morning coffee yet. it’s cold out here. i’m going back in the house.’

he closed the closed the limo door and turned back toward the kitchen. the chauffeur was saying something but he didn’t care. when he reached the kitchen door he looked back at the idling car. keith richards was still asleep, or passed out, and the driver was still staring at him, but now she was talking to someone on the phone. great, he thought, as he went back inside closing the door. the man was careful to lock it as well. though if it was them again a locked door meant nothing.

he busied himself making coffee and tried very hard not to think about the limo sitting outside on his dirt driveway. eventually whatever was going come out because of it would make itself known. another drug run with the rolling stones guitarist? maybe. though the thing with his dead wife emma was another story.

the house very clearly smelled of rosemary garlic fried chicken. no doubt about it. two sets of dinner dishes and a couple of wine glasses sat in the dish drying rack. when he opened the refrigerator for some milk for his coffee he spotted a plate of leftover fried chicken along with a container of leftover roasted potatoes and carrots. yeah, last night had been real enough. or was it? emma was dead. she died of cancer years ago. maybe it was just the ache and misery of her loss that still haunted him.

‘ah, but, ghosts making fried chicken, roasted potatoes and carrots?’

he’d said that aloud as the phone in the kitchen started to ring. he sipped his coffee and stared at the ringing phone. he wasn’t going to answer it but by the twentieth ring he got up to answer the phone if only to stop it’s incessant ringing.

‘yeah, who is it? no, tell you what, i don’t care. leave me alone.’

he hung up the phone. several seconds later it started ringing again. this time he unplugged the phone from the wall. sipping his coffee he walked back to his bedroom and unplugged that phone as well. silence filled the little home. when he got back to the kitchen he noticed that the limo was gone.

jmh

2012-13 college football bowl picks & predictions

hey, kids, what time is it? well, buffalo bob, it’s college football’s bowl madness time. yes siree, kids, it’s that time of year when the season is over and 140 or so FBS schools get to go bowling. holiday bowling. money money money bowling. along with at least an extra 21 days of practice the left outs don’t get. those 21 days are big time when next season rolls around. probably just as big as the money handed out to the conferences involved. the coaches love the 21 days more than the money. well, maybe.

at any rate, we get to sit through this holiday season and the next with the BCS thingy. that flawed mess that seemingly worked out ok this year. though someone always gets hosed by the tedious computers and/or arcane bowling rules and regulations. by this time in 2014 the BCS will be history and we’ll have our first playoffs. though i’m still not convinced that it’s going to work. i guess we’ll just have to wait and see. that old wheeze, be careful what you wish for, keeps popping up in the back of my mind. plus, i was never really sure if i wanted them in the first place. at any rate, we are going to be saddled with the ‘new and so called improved system’ for 14 years, people. 14 years is a long ass time to be saddled with anything. especially if the humps involved screw it up in some form or another. that, kids, you can take to the bank. they’re gonna screw it up. when has anything the suits ever came up with worked liked they said it would? exactly. yes, they have some guy that ran the college basketball big dance for a number of years. is he up for it? then there’s the fact, four teams might not be enough, however, anymore begins to dilute the regular season. i could go on and on with other points but i would just be repeating myself ad nauseum. if you’re really interested you can find those other bowl rants in my archives. they’re all still relevant as far as i’m concerned.

i’ll just be picking the bowls i have some sort of interest in watching, for whatever reason or reasons. straight up picks. no points or spreads to worry about. the only thing you as a fan have to worry about is if your starting qb or half of the defensive line get picked up by the cops for whatever sort of criminal violation or activity. yeah, it’s that time of year when college football players seem to get dumber than they normally are. too much time on their hands even with the extra practices. unlike the coaches, the kids are fed up with practicing by this point in the year. so they rape, rob, and pillage while drunk and or stoned just for something to do. ‘hey, let’s steal the computer nerds car and go across town and break into the dorms at all woman’s state.’ ‘great idea. pass me the bong and jd red first. i’m not wasted enough.’ i can relate to the not wasted enough deal but that’s a major veer and another story all together. but i think you get the picture.

as always, this is for entertainment purposes only. you should never take anything here as any sort of wagering advice. doing so would be asinine and make you much crazier than you really are.

one last word of warning. sitting through all of the bowl games on a couch in front of your TV will cause even more brain damage to your already addled state. just pick a handful of games you may find interesting or use my handy BCS bowling guide listed below and save yourself the loss of much needed sanity and some more brain cells.

rock ‘n’ roll.

12/22 maaco. boise st & washington. my first pick as we’re out of town and on the high seas until this date. no, we haven’t joined the navy. so, there’s no point in pointing out any of the earlier games as i can’t watch them and just looking at the list gives me the dry heaves. though the poinsettia on the 20th is of some interest with san diego st and byu. too bad i’ll miss it. ok. boise st gets this vegas bowl just about every year since byu decided sin city wasn’t for them anymore. that’s fine with the boise faithful even though they lust after greener bowling pastures. maybe one day broncos. easy one here. boise st should hammer the huskies in any sane man’s world. take boise st.

12/24 hawaii. fresno st & smu. a nice way to spend christmas eve. a quiet pre-christmas meal sans the relatives, if you’re lucky. some drinks and TV football. june jones gets to go back to hawaii the scene of his earlier coaching accomplishments. a nice gesture by the bowling boys there if there ever was one. if the fresno st guys don’t lose focus, an easy thing to do in honolulu with all the oiled up and barely dressed japanese lady tourists, they should ruin coach jones homecoming. take fresno st.

12/27 holiday. ucla & baylor. the bruins get to travel 160 miles or so south to san diego for this game after losing two in a row to the trees. yippy. i hope they will plan on playing and not partying and scaring the local female talent into hiding. if they come to play they win. maybe. coach mora is for real though. then there’s the fact baylor went on a roll their last 3 or 4 games and shut down some pretty good teams. one to watch. home boy says, take the bruins.

12/29 alamo. oregon st & texas. nice match-up here, kids. i’m assuming the game is in san antonio and not some alamo rental car parking lot out in the middle of nowhere. though that actually might be a fun thing if it were. a possible score fest if both teams are into it. one of those, let’s see if we can blow up the scoreboard type deals. fun stuff if it happens. i have to take the beavs but the longhorns could very well win. your choice. on a side note, coach riley would probably rather be in california where he could score as many ‘in-n-out’ animal style double doubles as he wants. hey, that’s what a hamburger is all about. in-n-out. yes, a crass cheap form of commercialism from yours truly. it’s that time of year, college football bowling season!! woohoo! the bowls do it so i may as well go for it. take 1. a couple of in-n-out animal style double doubles pair well with absolut vodka on the rocks. try them both today. cut. i’ll work fairly cheap and you can get in touch with me here. two of the best companies on the planet, in-n-out burgers and absolut vodka. thanks in advance guys. in case you missed it, i’m taking the beavs.

12/31 sun. georgia tech & usc. i had to look up the sun bowl as i’d completely forgotten where it was played. el paso, tx. that ought to make the local chamber of commerce guys cringe. if coach kiffin can get the boys up for this one i’ll be very surprised. i’ll also be surprised if half the squad isn’t in jail by game time. dad kiffin says he’s gone after this game. was he fired or was the high road taken? more importantly, how in the hell was he worth $1.5 mil a year? maybe they both should quit. happy new year’s eve. a toss up. this pick is up to you. the brown eyed girl and i are going out to dinner at a very nice steakhouse. i’ll miss the game. shucks.

1/4 cotton. texas a&m & oklahoma. i’ll tune into this game for several reasons. first, it’s, johnny football’s last chance, for the next 9 months, to wow the locals and TV couch potatoes far and wide with his amazing football magic. if he doesn’t go pro maybe penn & teller can use him in their act. secondly, the sooners missed a BCS bowl. they probably aren’t happy. good match-up and good TV fare. this could be another scoreboard blow out. two words, johnny football. take the aggies to win.

ok. time for the big ones.

1/1 rose. wisconsin & stanford. the grand daddy of them all. with maybe a chance at the B-2 doing a fly-over of the house here. slim but you never know. it did happen one year but at the time i was living closer to pasadena. pasadena got lucky this year. three years in a row for the badger faithful and a date out in probably sunny socal. i always hope for a deluge on jan 1. i never get my wish. the badger faithful know their way around old town by now. the trees faithful on the other hand may or may not show up. it just depends on a lot of stuff. i will actually watch this game. maybe even all of it. with wisconsin having thrown a big hurt on the huskers this could get interesting. i’m thinking possibly a low scoring snooze fest. as a life long PAC (8)(10)12 homer the trees are my pick.

1/1 orange. florida st & northern illinois. with all the transplanted new yorkers, nyc snowbirds, and mob capos in florida this would have been a perfect game for rutgers had they beaten louisville. they didn’t. and guess what? n. illinois is here instead of them. louisville got a better offer. take florida st.

1/2 sugar. florida & louisville. bourbon st beat. um, look it up. if the kids don’t get crazed and or tossed in the slammer while in the big easy the cardinals ought to win.

1/3 fiesta. kansas st & oregon. hey, maybe visor head kelly’s last game for my beloved ducks. or does he do one more year before turning pro? we wait and see. fingers crossed. in the mean time, someone let mike bellotti know he can have his old job back if he wants it. works for me. i think this game will probably set some sort of bowling scoring record. if it doesn’t it might be a yawner. another game i’ll more than likely watch at least for a while. maybe. QUACK QUACK!!! says it all.

1/7 BCS Championship. notre dame & alabama. i generally don’t watch this game. regardless of who’s playing. you shouldn’t either. take the wife out for a nice dinner instead. tell her you love her and thanks for letting you ruin most of her saturdays for the past 4 months or so. also, a few week nights as well. the winner? i don’t care. nick satan or the domers? please. ok. so i hope the domers win. they probably won’t. meh. i mean the season has been over for over a month. come on. at this point, who cares? other than those involved. or the dimwitted who bought tickets to this let’s cram as many commercials into a three/four hour period as we can in this made for TV mind numbing mess. riddle me this, who won the crystal thing five years ago? exactly.

only 11 games out of the bazillion or so bowler games? yep. most of them are turkeys and not worth your time. mine in particular. i’ll tune in to a few of my picks, if only in passing. it’s just hard to work up any sort of interest in these bowl games anymore. it’s more about the TV money and how much money the local yokels can fleece from the rubes who buy tickets to these turkeys than it is about college football. sad but true. it’s the brave new world of college ball. schools bouncing from league to league searching for the golden ring, egg, or big money bowl shopping. raiders of the lost ark as it were. the coming of the dreaded super conferences paired with a sharp wooden stake to be driven into the hearts of those of us who remember back when. crap.

is it september yet?

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 14

sadly, the final week of the regular college football season is here. the only thing left are the bowl games but, more on them next week. although i may as well just re-run one of my old bowl game rundowns. or maybe not. at any rate, i hope i do better this week as last weeks picks were a hurricane of a train wreck. 4 for 10 making my over all now a pretty crappy, 64 for 130. unless i pick things up this week the 2012 season will officially be my worst ever. ouch. yes, well, exactly what i’ve been telling you for years now. using anything you read here and taking it to some legal or illegal betting spot would be totally stupid. leave your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and nobody gets hurt. i suppose there’s no point in belaboring this any longer. other than the fact our time in vegas was outstanding and lane kiffin needs to go. away. soon. hint. hint.

the point spreads used here are what i determine my wins and losses for the week. the points may change before game time. i don’t care. what is here is what i use. simple as that.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/29 louisville @ rutgers. rutgers favored by 2.5 points. i guess whoever wins this game gets the big east nod at the best available turkey bowl spot the BCS bowl boys can conjure up for them. with the ruckus caused by rutgers bailing on the league in favor of the big ten there’s going to be a ripple effect that may effect the very existence of the big east. wait and see. all that being said, watching this one may be a nice way to spend a thursday evening in late november. fire place. hot toddy. decent teams with good records against other also rans. pretty much a toss up. take rutgers with the home field and crowd.

11/30 PAC 12 championship. ucla @ stanford. stanford favored by 9.5 points. yeah, one of those rematch thingys that no sane person wants to see. let’s face it, the bruins didn’t play well last week at home. this week they travel up to the trees home court to do it all over again and probably in the rain as well for a shot at the rose bowl or something. anticlimactic for my money especially when the game is only a week apart from their last meeting. that’s the brave new world of college football. with the reality of big time TV money i don’t see how these set ups can be avoided if most teams in the league are playing well and end up beating on each other. at least we won’t have an SEC only big dance game this year but, i digress. if coach mora can get a handle on the foolish and stupid penalty thing the bruins may have a shot at winning. i’m taking ucla to, at the least, get inside the spread. yes, homer stupidity.

11/30 MAC championship. kent st @ northern illinois. n. illinois favored by 5 points. for someone of my generation it seems odd to be writing about kent st and football. then there’s the fact i hardly watch or care about the MAC. yes, tis true. sue me. though with the rematch factor of the PAC 12 game this big MAC attack, sorry, may garner higher TV ratings as they are both on at the same time. the only thing i know about the two schools is the fact the national guard screwed up long ago at kent st. take n. illinois to win and cover the spread.

12/1 texas @ kansas st. no lines. both teams are coming off disappointing losses and both teams need the win here for a shot at a decent bowling berth. take kansas st to win at home.

12/1 oklahoma st @ baylor. oklahoma st favored by 4.5 points. the cowboys don’t play well on the road. though they did manage to cover the spread last week in losing to the sooners. baylor has been up and down in streaks all season. their latest winning streak was against two very good teams. take baylor to somehow win or cover the points.

12/1 oklahoma @ tcu. oklahoma favored by 6.5 points. a statement game for the sooners. take oklahoma to win and cover the points.

12/1 boise st @ nevada. boise st favored by 8.5 points. hopefully, i have this game on the correct day this time around. the easy thing being i can just copy and paste what i wrote last week. this game was supposed to be boise’s big game of the year. they were also supposed to be undefeated at this point. the best of plans often go awry. nevada was also supposed to be much better than they’ve turned out to be. they’re doing ok and even going bowling. or have a shot at it anyway. nevada might surprise but they haven’t done well against better teams. take boise st to win.

12/1 SEC championship. alabama @ georgia. alabama favored by 7.5 points. both teams with identical records. say what you want but as far as their schedules went this year i think georgia played a slightly tougher one. this could be a close game. however, take alabama to win and cover the spread.

12/1 ACC championship. florida st @ georgia tech. florida st favored by 13.5 points. both schools lost last week. this week is for florida st to get it together in order to beat a semi decent team and take the ACC title. take florida st to win and cover the spread.

12/1 BIG 10 championship. nebraska @ wisconsin. no lines. both teams lost to ohio st. the trouble being ohio st isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. the cornhuskers are on a six game winning streak though they play much better at home than on the road. wisconsin’s home field advantage gets muddied by their mediocre record and recent losses. take nebraska to win.

there it is, the last week of the college football season. we’ll have to sit and wait for months until the season rolls around once again. as always, seared red meat and red wine pair well with college football saturdays. enjoy your week and the final regular season games of the year. no, you can’t count next weeks army navy game. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 13

could there have been a crazier saturday in college football? maybe. maybe not. the only good thing being i went 7 for 10 with my picks and predictions. my over all now stands at 60 for 120 with just a few weeks left in the season. at one point early saturday evening i was thinking i might go 9 for 10 for the week. that’s what thinking will get you sometimes. TV talking heads and the get paid for what they write sports types will mull last week for awhile and probably never come up with any real answers as to what happened other than two or three teams lost that probably shouldn’t have. that was then. this is now. thanksgiving week. my favorite week of the year. plenty of college football paired with over eating and drinking. what could be better? not much i’m sure. other than the fact we’re spending the week here in las vegas. and given the fact vegas hotel room internet access can be sketchy, hopefully, i can get this out in a timely manner. or while i can.

just remember this is for entertainment purposes only. taking anything you learn from here and say go downstairs to the sports book and use it to place any money on any of the games would be stupid and insane at best. do not do it. leave your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and nobody gets hurt. simple as that. taking care of your family comes first.

the point spreads used here are what i base my wins and losses on for the week. the spreads may change by game times but it matters not. they are what they are. i thought about just making picks with no points this week but so far the odds makers are making that moot in a number of cases. anyway, i’ll be using the points if they have any by the time i post this.

it’s thanksgiving and rivalry weekend. or it used to be rivalry weekend. these days any number of schools play their old rivalry nemeses at any point earlier in the season. though in the old days this was the week for those games. there are still a few of those games left for this week and after last weeks shake ups some of the games this week are very important to the BCS picture. in other words, some of these rivalry games have big time significance.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/22 tcu @ texas. texas favored by 8.5 points. a nice match up and a good way to start off my thanksgiving week picks. the game on turkey day itself. let’s see here, tcu beat baylor rather handily on the road. then they lost to kansas st at home, not embarrassingly so but still a loss. the longhorns are very quietly on a four game winning streak. i’m taking texas to win and cover the points. you should too.

11/24 georgia tech @ georgia. georgia favored by 13 points. if things go sideways again this week this game could have major BCS implications for the bulldogs who, would of course, need to win this one. tech needs a win here in this old rivalry to secure a spot in the ACC playoff against whomever. ACC SEC. home game and crowd for the dawgs. take georgia to win and cover the spread.

11/24 michigan @ ohio st. ohio st favored by 5 points. it’s too bad ohio st is on not so secret double probation and can’t do anything with their so far undefeated season. big blue on the other hand has lost to alabama, notre dame, and nebraska. that tidbit alone plus the fact it’s a homer crowd for the buckeyes make this one an easy pick. take ohio st to win and cover the points.

11/24 oklahoma st @ oklahoma. oklahoma favored by 8.5 points. okie bragging rights here, kids. always a big game regardless of what’s happened so far in the year. the sooners have already lost to kansas st and notre dame at home this year. plus, the cowboys haven’t played well on the road. ipso facto, take the cowboys to at minimum get inside the points. convoluted thinking for sure, however, take oklahoma st.

11/24 oregon @ oregon st. oregon favored by 10.5 points. civil war time in corvallis. what can you say about last weeks duck loss to the trees? the ducks would eventually lose at home? field goal kickers are people too? neither offense came to play? the defenses did? the beavs took care of a hapless cal team very easily. adios, coach tedford. the pac 12 north title is up for grabs. oregon st needs this one along with some help from the bruins in order to make their way into the pac’s championship game next week. i should say i think that needs to happen. i’ll leave it to stewart mandel or roy firestone to figure that one out. the ducks will more than likely win but i think the beavs will keep things close. take oregon st get inside the spread and perhaps even win.

11/24 stanford @ ucla. ucla favored by 1.5 points. if the trees pull this one off the pac 12 north will be a mess and you’ll probably need a degree in physics or something to straighten things out. though even if the bruins lose they’ll still be in the championship game. or that’s the thought. i guess the question for this one is, who’s squad got beat up more last week. or which team suffers more from the winners hangover. stanford, over the past few years, has been in this situation before. numerous times. the bruins? not in many a year. coach mora seems to have things well under control though. another crazed 90,000 strong bruin home crowd. i have to stay local for this game. take the bruins in a very close game.

11/24 florida @ florida st. no lines. say what you want about the SEC but florida st has, in my opinion played a tougher schedule this year given the fact florida played an FCS school and a sunbelt team the last two weeks. yes, of course, the BCS doesn’t like the ACC. so what? i don’t either most of the time. take florida st to win.

11/24 boise st. @ nevada. no lines. this game was supposed to be boise’s big game of the year. they were supposed to be undefeated at this point. the best of plans often go awry. nevada was supposed to be much better than they’ve turned out to be as well. they’re doing ok and even going bowling. or have a shot at it anyway. nevada might surprise but they haven’t done well against better teams. take boise st to win. yeah, take boise st to win. sadly, that game is next week. oops. confusion reigns. ok. i’m replacing it with miss st @ miss. ole miss favored by 1.5 points. take miss st to win and or cover the short spread. edited 11/21/12 6:22 AM

11/24 s. carolina @ clemson. clemson favored by 4 points. clemson is suffering from a semi lack of respect this year. the old ball coach and the gamecocks haven’t faired well on the road so far, a meager two for four. though they did beat wofford last week. say what? yeah. clemson is undefeated at home for the season and their only loss was against florida st. on the road. unless florida st goes down clemson will become an also ran for the the year. old ball coach or not, clemson takes the game and the win.

11/24 notre dame @ usc. no lines. the domers are touchdown jesus perfect for the season. one last game to win or lose a shot to go to the big BCS dance game. the trojans are floundering. hints of past brilliance only to be tossed out by throwing into coverage that most high school kids would recognize as being a very low percentage throw. or some dumb ass penalty to stop whatever momentum they had. coach lane is on the ropes. or should be. he needs this game to keep his job in any sane man’s world. though the trojans should just part ways with him regardless. just saying. the trojan irish game is one of the oldest rivalries in college football. a fine game to cap off rivalry saturday. just like last weeks ucla/usc game the past doesn’t really matter. it’s all about what you bring to the field on any given saturday that matters. this saturday in particular. the men of troy find themselves in a spoiler position. the question being, can lane kiffin and company get it together one more time this year? good question. however, the last four games they haven’t had it together save for the game against arizona st. plus, matt barkley will be sitting on the trojan bench with a shoulder injury. i hate to do this but, take the irish to win.

have a very happy thanksgiving everyone. be safe. be semi sane. enjoy rivalry week or what’s left of it.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 12

the games last week made for an interesting weekend of college football, to say the least. the weather here didn’t pan out as hoped but clear and vaguely cold still worked for the beef bourguinon and mashed potatoes at dinner on saturday. as for my picks, i was tepid once again just winning all of my middle of the pack games. if i had stayed with my original first two picks i would have ended up on a high note. as it was i went 5 for 10 again. making my over all standings for the season, 53 for 110. i guess if i wasn’t chomping at the bit to get back to las vegas this coming sunday for thanksgiving week i’d be doing better.

speaking of doing better, usc fought off the early doldrums to beat arizona st. thus perhaps staving off lane kiffen’s head ending up on a platter. well, at least for another week. also, the tide’s undefeated run came to a screeching halt at home. one i almost called. at any rate, this insanity is for entertainment purposes only. it’s meant for fun. taking anything from here and using it to place any sort of bet would be totally stupid on your part. leave your wallet where in belongs, in your pocket, and no one gets hurt. taking care of your family comes first.

the point spreads used here are what i use to determine my wins and losses for the week. they may change by game time. it matters not. this is what i go by.

happy veterans day to all of my brothers and sisters in arms, living and dead, thanks for doing what you did or are doing right now. those who never served don’t have a clue as to our many sacrifices. all gave some. some gave all.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/17 rutgers @ cincinnati. rutgers favored by 6.5 points. neither school has played the best schedule. although that’s generally the case with the lower tiered FBS schools. however, rutgers is once again playing some good football. and if only for the memory of one of our most underrated comedic minds, ozzie nelson, a rutgers alum, i picked this game. it might be a good one. take rutgers to win and cover the points.

11/17 northwestern @ michigan st. michigan st favored by 6.5 points. a good game and probably too bad northwestern lost to big blue last week or this game would be of more importance. just another indication of last weekends roller coaster ride. i’m actually sort of surprised the spartans are favored here as their home record isn’t very good. so, i’m taking northwestern to get inside the spread and maybe win.

11/17 alabama @ western carolina. no line. of course there’s no line because this is ridiculous. this game is a travesty. the former number one team in the land playing FCS powerhouse michelin tire changing arts and taxidermy state the week before thanksgiving. if they hadn’t fallen from grace after their loss to the aggies last week they should be run from the rankings this week for playing these guys this time of year. i don’t get it, but thankfully bama is out of the BCS picture at least for the time being. hold your nose if you dare to watch this one, kids. if the tide doesn’t throttle the jack handles it will be the biggest upset in the history of college football. hence, it’s my lock of the week. take bama to win.

11/17 stanford @ oregon. oregon favored by 21.5 points. a bunch of points. for those who don’t know why i call oregon ‘my beloved ducks’, i guess i should re-tell the tale. the ducks played ohio st in the rose bowl in 1958. ohio st was the heavy favorite but the buckeyes only won by 3 points, 10-7. i was 9 and a half years old at the time. for some reason while watching the game on TV they became ‘my’ team that new years day long ago and they have been ever since through thick and thin. shortly there after the trojans were also added to that very short list. so, there you have it. say what you want but the two biggest college games this week are pac 12 games. this one and usc/ucla. the trees play better at home which bears witness to the trees beating the beavs last week. thankfully, however, they didn’t cover the spread. my beloved ducks are seemingly on a roll toward the big dance game this year. the last time they lost to the trees was back in 09. stanford probably got lucky against the beavs last week. the ducks are a much better team. ergo, take the ducks to win and cover the spread at home in autzen. QUACK QUACK!!

11/17 california @ oregon st. oregon st favored by 21.5 points. the cal bears are more than likely in for it again this week as they are one of the crappier teams in the pac 12 this year. as an also ran team playing on the road against a very good team playing at home you can, hopefully, count on a lopsided win by the beavs in a tune-up game before the civil war game next week. take oregon st to win and cover the hefty spread.

11/17 usc @ ucla. usc favored by 4 points. crosstown rivalry weekend here in lotus land. this game means a lot as most of the kids at both schools more than likely grew up playing one another from pee wee days up thru high school. it’s all about bragging rights for the coming year in the city of lost angels. this one is the other one to watch for the week. with the bruins playing well again this year and the trojans up and down deflating hopes or dashing them you can’t really predict a winner here. lane kiffin needs to win this one if he wants to keep his job. this game and the next against the domers. this past week there’s been a few press pieces here and there about good old lane and his seemingly under handed tactics this year. the last one being the case of the under inflated balls against the ducks. lane was hired by mike ‘pendejo’ garrett the former athletic director and heisman winner. i’m sure the new guy, pat haden, might like to get rid of good old lane in order to put an end to the bad old days along with the new bad old days. just saying. he’ll have a case if the trojans drop this game and the next against the domers. that along with lane’s seemingly untoward actions this year will make it easy for pat. a close game but eventually the trojans pull it out. take usc to win and cover. FIGHT ON!!!

11/17 wake forest @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 24 points. within sight of the golden dome touchdown jesus is pretty much unstoppable. even if they are playing like the trojans on any given week. wake forest has been thumped on by every decent FBS team they’ve played this year. they get thumped on again this week as the irish tune up for the trojans on the 24th. take the irish to win and cover the points.

11/17 minnesota @ nebraska. nebraska favored by 18.5 points. the golden gophers started off the year like gangbusters. then they hit their big 10 league schedule. oops. the cornhuskers need this game for bowling purposes. perhaps the rose bowl or better if they win out the rest of the way. unbeaten at home the cornhuskers should remain that way after this game. take nebraska to win and cover.

11/17 texas tech @ oklahoma st. oklahoma st favored by 11 points. another good football game. oklahoma st would like nothing more than to spoil the red raiders season. they get a shot at it this week. home field. home crowd. take the cowboys to win and cover the points.

11/17 kansas st @ baylor. kansas st favored by 11 points. this game is here only because the wildcats are still undefeated. they should still be this coming sunday morning. this game, if you ask me, will be all about style points and staying the course to an undefeated season. then it will be up to the BCS computers, harry potter, swami vishnu, and drunken sports writers everywhere. take kansas st to win and cover the spread. .

happy veterans day. enjoy your week. as always, seared red meat and red wine pair well with college football saturdays. next week is thanksgiving and rivalry weekend. one of the better weeks of the year. plus, the wife and i will be in las vegas for five nights so next week this will be coming to you from somewhere high atop the strip. sweet. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 11

a much better weekend than the last but things still need to swing my way a bit more. an average 5 for 10 for the week making my over all, 48 for 100. semi tepid to be sure. perhaps this week will turn things around. one thing for certain, boise st played themselves out of any shot at some sort of big dance type bowl game. better luck next year broncos. as for some of the other teams more on them later in my picks & predictions.

this mess is for entertainment purposes only. using anything dished out here and taking it to your local bookie and/or casino, legal or otherwise, and placing some sort of a wager would be supremely stupid if not insane on your part. leave your wallet where it belongs, in your pocket, and no one gets hurt. taking care of your family comes first.

the point spreads listed here are what i base my win loss record for the week. if the points change before game time, oh well. they are what they are. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/10 notre dame @ boston college. notre dame favored by 18.5 points. if there is a sloppier 9-0 team than the golden domers i need someone to point them out to me. ok. usc at times. both head coaches seem to be a deer in the headlights at all the wrong times. given the fact the irish should have waltzed all over pitt last week at home and didn’t says volumes about this weeks trip into boston and their annual big game with the other big time catholic school. i’m assuming the city of boston will have it together after sandy blew thru the east coast. the lady was a tramp. at any rate, if the domers play like they did last week they will be in for it. the question being, can the touchdown jesus coaching staff get it together against the eagles? granted, boston college is embarrassing this season but then so is/was pitt. make no mistake, this is boston colleges biggest game of the year. they will come to play and half the time the domers don’t play well on the road. even when they win. enough points here for the eagles to get inside of if they are playing well. i think they will be ready. take boston college to get inside the spread.

11/10 kansas st @ tcu. no line. probably a pretty good game. tcu has been all over the map this year and this game is their shot at some sort of respectability for the season. with respect to kansas st and starting qb klein’s injury, which sounds to me like a concussion and others as well, make this decision a difficult one. no line pretty much represents that quandary. tcu home field advantage and a kansas st heisman candidate that at this point early in the week may not play. even if klein plays another solid hit could put him back on the bench. that’s something the tcu defense is very capable of doing. all things considered take tcu to win.

11/10 texas a&m @ alabama. alabama favored by 13.5. the aggies beat up on mississippi st last week. the tide barely held on for their win against lsu. alabama is probably also lucky this is a home game for them. i would love it if the aggies beat up on the tide this saturday. someone needs to. please. if the game were in texas i’d take the aggies. it isn’t. take bama to win and cover.

11/10 mississippi st @ lsu. lsu favored by 14 points. sadly, miss st seems to be able to beat only non ranked teams or FCS schools this year. traveling to tiger country this week probably won’t change things either. take lsu to win and cover.

11/10 oregon @ california. oregon favored by 27.5. the cal bears actually beat ucla earlier this year. they also beat washington st and an FCS utah school as well. yawn. this week? no chance at beating my beloved ducks. the bears go 3 and 8 after this game with coach tedford one step closer to his exit interview. cold and rainy. perfect duck weather. take the ducks to win and cover the points. QUACK QUACK!!

11/10 arizona st @ usc. usc favored by 9.5 points. in losing the trojans showed some game against the ducks. plenty of points on the board in that losing effort at home. plus, coach lane seems to have gotten a handle on the penalty thing, at least for last week. arizona st on the other hand is not playing well at all this season. though they almost beat the bruins. the trojans need to win this one and all their remaining games to get a chance to play the ducks again on november 30 in the pac 12 championship game. a cold possibly rainy day here this saturday, well for a late fall socal saturday anyway. things could get interesting. take the trojans to win and cover the points. FIGHT ON!!

11/10 oregon st @ stanford. stanford favored by 5 points. the trees are unbeaten at home. which means this will be a very good game and one the beavs need very badly to remain in the pac 12 north hunt for number one. more cold and rain. take oregon st to at the very least get inside the spread.

11/10 w. virginia @ oklahoma st. oklahoma st favored by 7.5 points. w. virginia has lost their last 3 games. i don’t really see them turning things around this week on the road against the cowboys. both schools with identical records at 5-3. home court advantage the cowboys. take oklahoma st to win and cover.

11/10 ucla @ washington st. ucla favored by 15 points. the only 2 games the cougars have won this year were against teams worse than they are. though better things were expected with new coach mike ‘the pirate’ leach. maybe next year. if the bruins keep their head in the game and don’t look ahead to next weeks rivalry game against the trojans they should steamroll the cougars. rainy and cold. take the bruins to win and cover.

11/10 fresno st @ nevada. fresno favored by 2.5 point. let’s call this one a toss up. very interesting game here kids. one you probably shouldn’t over look with respect to how each school played san diego st. lots of points in both games and both of them very close. that being said, this one should be a shoot out. or at least that’s the hope. maybe some snow for the game. take nevada to get inside the meager points or win.

just a few waning weeks of the season left. enjoy your saturdays while you can. a bit of a change up, menu wise, for this saturday in honor of our first cold weather and hopefully some rain. beef bourguinon and red wine pair well with college football and seasonal weather. enjoy the games. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 10

could things have gone any worse? probably. i guess i’m lucky to have come out of the weekend with my two lonely wins. very lonely wins. a wheels falling off sort of weekend for sure. a ghastly pre-halloween egging by the neighborhood kids. ok. so, 2 for 10 and dropping out of the 50% over all rating with a 43 for 90. i guess the less said about it the better. some very good math-ups coming this week. let’s get to them.

the information provided here is for entertainment purposes only. taking any information used here to your local or whatever gaming joint would be utterly stupid. last week would be a perfect example of that. do not do it. leave your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and in your pocket, and no one gets hurt.

the points used here are what i go by to determine my wins and losses for the week. the points may change by game times. it doesn’t matter to me.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/3 texas a&m @ mississippi st. texas a&m favored by 7 points. the bulldogs didn’t fair well against alabama on the road last week. the aggies on the road clobbered auburn. ok. apples and oranges. though both schools are playing very well so far this year. texas a&m wins and covers the spread.

11/3 texas @ texas tech. texas tech favored by 7 points. despite the red raiders getting hammered by kansas st last week i think you can look for them to get back on track this week against the longhorns. texas is undefeated on the road. tech has only one loss at home against the sooners. a good game and probably a nail gnawer. take texas tech to win and cover the points.

11/3 oklahoma @ iowa st. oklahoma favored by 10.5 points. another sooners spoiler alert. two weeks in a row on the road and perhaps another oklahoma loss. the sooners may win but i’m taking iowa st to at least get inside the points.

11/3 pittsburgh @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 17 points. the golden domers go 9 and 0 this week after beating up on the panthers. yes, it’s as simple as that. take the domers to win and cover.

11/3 oregon @ usc. oregon favored by 7 points. if the trojans play anywhere near as badly as they did last week this one will be over by the end of the first quarter. the only thing you can say about their game against arizona is the coaching was atrocious. penalty after penalty killed whatever momentum they had and for my money that’s a coaching problem. it had nothing to do with the lack of depth on the defense for a change. or an offense that was clearly out of kilter with a few exceptions. adios, heisman and rose bowl. hello holiday bowl if they’re lucky. yeah, well that’s what’s on the horizon if the men of troy don’t get it together this week. my beloved ducks, on the other hand, are flying smoothly along so far. well out of range of the incoming shotgun pellets but not the BCS poll. although if the trojans of old show up this week at home, a place where they rarely lose, the ducks could be in trouble. this one is very tough pick for me. my beloved ducks and the trojans. had the trojans won last week instead of stinking up the field i’d probably go with them to upset oregon. take oregon to win and cover. QUACK QUACK!!!

11/3 alabama @ lsu. alabama favored by 10 points. hopefully, not a defensive snooze fest like last years first game between the two teams. bama faces it’s first really big test of the season. sorry michigan. i thought this would be pretty much a toss up. it isn’t. however, if lsu comes to play the tide may go out this week. plus the fact there’s the BCS bowl thing from last season as well. take lsu to at least get inside the spread and maybe win.

11/3 arizona @ ucla. no line no points. both teams coming off impressive wins. though the wildcats haven’t faired well on the road this year. a good day for lala landers to stay off the roads with usc and ucla both playing at home. take the bruins to win.

11/3 oklahoma st @ kansas st. kansas st favored by 8.5 points. if kansas st is going to lose a game this year it could be this weekend. the cowboys, like the cyclones, are a couple of my go to spoiler teams. i’m taking oklahoma st to at least make it closer than the 8.5 points. take them.

11/3 san diego st @ boise st. boise st favored by 14 points. the aztecs have a winning record but aren’t really playing very well against better programs and have lost more than they have won on the road. boise st needs to keep winning and hoping kansas st and notre dame start losing in order to make some big money bowl trip down the road. boise st rarely losses at home on the smurf turf which by the way is beginning to really show it’s age. time for the broncos to start thinking about sprucing the place up for their sojourn into the big east next year. or whenever it is. the aztecs make it a game the first half then fall by the wayside. take boise st to win and cover.

11/3 arizona st @ oregon st. oregon st favored by 5.5 points. sadly, the beavs got tripped up by the huskies last week. the sun devils lost a slug fest at home to the bruins on a last second field goal. this is potentially a very good game and one oregon st needs to win with stanford and the ducks on the horizon. thankfully, a home game for the beavers. take oregon st to win and cover.

enjoy your halloween week. as always, seared red meat and red wine pair well on college football saturday. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 9

all things considered i probably should have stayed with my straight up picks instead of going back to using the point spreads for week 8. i suppose there is something to be said about being too busy to deal with the spreads. as it is i went 5 for 10, bringing my over all to a vaguely respectable 41 for 80. texas tech and kansas st being my best picks of the weekend. if a few other teams had scored a couple of more points i would have killed it, but then that’s why vegas is vegas. and every weekend seems to end up that way.

never forget that this thing is for entertainment purposes only. using anything here for anything other than a few laughs, at yours truly, would be a perfect example of insanity. do not do it. leave your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and nobody gets hurt. family, food, and rent are much more important.

the point spreads used here are what i use to determine my wins and losses for the week. some of the spreads may change by game times but it matters not.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/25 clemson @ wake forest. clemson favored by 13 points. are the tigers in over their head this year? or are they really this good? their only loss was a decent showing against florida st. who was also their toughest opponent so far this season with s. carolina finishing the year for them. clemson doesn’t have the toughest schedule in the FBS this year that’s for sure. they can put some numbers on the board, but their defense can be a sieve. wake forest, on the other hand, should probably look at this game as a warm-up for the train wreck that awaits them week 11 with touchdown jesus in the shadows of the golden dome. thumping would be a mild word for that game. i veer and get ahead of myself. at any rate, an interesting way to start the football weekend. clemson wins and covers the spread.

10/26 cincinnati @ louisville. louisville favored by 4.5 points. well kids, it’s showdown time for the big kids in the big east. not the greatest of the FBS conferences but not the worst either. two decent programs that for the past few years have been well, decent enough. the biggest question being, will the cardinals remain undefeated after this one? probably. a good game to begin your saturday stuck to the couch. take louisville to win and cover the spread.

10/27 tennessee @ s. carolina. s. carolina favored by 14 points. the gamecocks disappointed last weekend by getting drubbed by florida. they are here again in order to see if the old ball coach can turn them around after starting the season on a big time roll. my feeling is he will. take s. carolina to win and cover the points.

10/27 colorado @ oregon. oregon favored by 45.5 points. the sad buffalos make what could amount to a walk down the green mile with their visit to autzen stadium this week. the ducks are smelling roses and/or the crystal football along with the blood of the buffalos. though they still need to beat the trojans twice and cross state rival oregon st for any of that to come true. well, save for the blood of the buffalos. a huge spread but if my beloved ducks want to keep making statements this season they’ll need to cover it and add some more points to it as well. take oregon to win and cover the points. QUACK QUACK!!!

10/27 texas tech @ kansas st. kansas st favored by 7.5 points. for my money one of the best games of the weekend. both schools have been impressive so far this year. can the red raiders pull off another road trip stunner again this week? stunner, in the fact they never gave up against tcu. they won’t this week as well. tech may not win but they will get inside the points. take texas tech.

10/27 usc @ arizona. usc favored by 6.5 points. after lasts weeks game matt barkley may have put himself back into the heisman hunt. though it’s a bit too early to tell if that’s the case. he’ll need to beat the ducks twice and finish the remainder of the season undefeated. along with some other folks falling by the wayside for that to happen. time tells. as for this week, he may have his hands full down in tucson. the points sort of reflect that. if the defense catches the plane, and hopefully they do, the trojans win and cover. take usc to win and cover. FIGHT ON!!

10/27 florida @ georgia. florida favored by 6 points. eastern division sec powerhouses meet. an interesting game though florida has played a somewhat better schedule. and for that reason take florida to win and cover the points.

10/27 notre dame @ oklahoma. oklahoma favored by 10 points. probably a pretty good game. oklahoma has whupped up on everyone with the exception of kansas st. the domers have played them all close with navy being their only rout. this is probably the domers stalingrad for the year with their waterloo coming the last game of the season against the trojans away from the dome. take the sooners to win and cover the spread.

10/27 mississippi st @ alabama. alabama favored by 23.5 points. neither school has played a tough schedule so far this year. if this game were a homer for the bulldogs things might go their way. make no mistake, this is mississippi state’s biggest game of the year. they have a shot at making the tide roll out. it’s too bad that probably isn’t going to happen. however, take mississippi to get inside the points.

10/27 oregon st @ washington. oregon st favored by 4 points. after beating stanford things have more or less fallen apart for the huskies. it’s also hard to figure why the beavs are only a 4 point favorite. though the huskies can spoil things on occasion. a good game and a nice nightcap. take oregon st to win and cover.

one more week in the books. the season is getting shorter and st nick will be here before you know it. as always, seared red meat and red wine pairs well with college football saturday. enjoy your week and the games. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 8

another very satisfying weekend as i went 8 for 10 with my predictions. not to shabby. had iowa st and s. carolina scored a few more points i would have had a perfect 10 for 10. my over all now stands at 36 for 70. also in the mix was the notre dame goal line stand where the domers got lucky. they wouldn’t have needed that luck if several of their players hadn’t started celebrating early and had continued to play instead. ah, well. it’s all part of the game. although i did pick notre dame to win.

the beginning of this week hasn’t been as hectic as the last two weeks have been. that being the case i’m going to go back to picks with the point spreads attached. as we all know that’s an entirely different matter. the past few weeks has just gone to show that picking winners straight up is a rather simple thing. ok, at times it is. point spreads muck stuff up. though they have always been the premise of this insanity unless i don’t have the time to deal with them for a particular week. so, they’re back this week.

the first BCS poll is out and there are probably more folks pissed off than there are folks who are happy. one more year to go with that mess then we jump off the pier into uncharted waters and college football playoffs. yeah, boy. i can’t wait for that. uh huh.

what you are reading here is for entertainment purposes only. any real or imagined information taken from here and used to place any legal or otherwise monetary bet would be the definition of foolhardy. don’t do it. leave your money where it belongs, in your wallet and in your back pocket, purse, murse, under the mattress, or in a coffee can buried in the backyard.

the points used here are what i base my wins and losses on. the points may change during the week. i don’t care. i have other stuff to do.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/18 oregon @ arizona st. oregon favored by 9 points. thursday night primetime. a nice dinner. a refreshing shower. then sit back with a glass or four of dago red and enjoy what might be a pretty good game. it was actually cold and rainy here in the southwest last week but it’s back into the 90′s this week and indian summer. my beloved ducks aren’t used to this kind of weather. hopefully, coach visor head kelly has them practicing in a very large sauna. although i don’t see the ducks having much of a problem covering the points and winning even though the points have been drifting downward. take the ducks. QUACK QUACK!!!

10/20 michigan st @ michigan. michigan favored by 10 points. all and all an interesting game with the state of michigan bragging rights tossed in for good measure. big blue will probably win the game but i think state will get inside the point spread. take michigan st.

10/20 s. carolina @ florida. florida favored by 3 points. just the home field 3 for the gators. interesting. yes, the gamecocks couldn’t quite manage a win last week, however, i’m still taking them this time around as well. take s. carolina to win or cover the points.

10/20 alabama @ tennessee. alabama favored by 20.5 points. the tide somehow or another seems impressive enough to remain on top of all the polls and the first BCS deal as well. they’ve scored some points this year and so has tennessee even when losing. i don’t think this will be the week the tide goes out. take alabama to win and cover.

10/20 iowa st @ oklahoma st. oklahoma st favored by 14 points. i don’t quite get the line on this game. iowa st will at the very least get inside the points. take the cyclones.

10/20 lsu @ texas a&m. lsu favored by 3 points. another tough one for the tigers. myself as well. take the aggies to cover the spread or even win.

10/20 byu @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 13.5 points. this is generally an interesting game if only for the religious overtones. it would be more interesting this year if byu was playing better football. say like the domers, for example, which has also included a wee bit o the irish luck. tree fans get over it. if the irish play every down and don’t start celebrating early again they should cover and win. take notre dame.

10/20 texas tech @ tcu. texas tech favored by 2.5 points. the red raiders are seemingly on a roll. they faired well last weekend in their big upset over w. virginia. one i predicted by the way. the bandwagon/stagecoach rolls on. take texas tech to win and or cover the points.

10/20 kansas st @ w. virginia. w. virginia favored by 3 points. another point spread i’m having trouble with. i guess even at number 4 undefeated kansas st can’t get any respect even with the fact w. virginia got pounded last week. take kansas st to cover the points or win.

10/20 utah @ oregon st. oregon st favored by 10 points. here’s a point spread that probably should be higher. perhaps even a bunch more. i’ll take this as it stands. coach riley and the beaves keep on keeping on. take oregon st to win and cover the spread.

week 8 in the books. enjoy your week and come day remember, seared red meat and red wine pair well with the games. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 7

another semi satisfying week again last weekend with a 6 for 10 outing. making my overall now a somewhat better 28 for 60. respectability one week at a time. just like the last two weeks this one proves to be a busy one with a day trip into downtown lotus land this morning and another run on tuesday down to the temecula wine country. so, with all this running around i won’t have time to deal with the points thing. yes, even with the out of control gas prices here in the great state of chaos and confusion stuff still needs to be taken care of. regardless. with that being said, i won’t be using point spreads again this week. seeing as how well i’ve done the past two weeks without them i may abandon the points altogether for the rest of the season. though i haven’t decided that as yet. time tells.

this insanity is for entertainment purposes only and using anything you read here for legal or otherwise gambling purposes would be folly at best. keep your wallet where it belongs, in your pocket and nobody gets hurt.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/13 louisville @ pittsburgh. louisville is undefeated. ah yes, the reality of the big east. a decent program i suppose and a team i haven’t visited here this year. even though pitt beat one of the virginia’s a week or two ago take louisville to continue to go undefeated.

10/13 texas @ oklahoma. oklahoma surprised me last week. good for them. i’m going to go out on a limb and hope the sooners surprise again this week.
take oklahoma to win.

10/13 kansas st @ iowa st. this should prove to be one of the better games of the weekend. in the best of times and the worst of times of mice and men if things go as planned the cyclones rain on state’s parade. take iowa st.

10/13 alabama @ missouri. the crimson tide rolls on. take bama to win. ROLL TIDE!!

10/13 w. virginia @ texas tech. make no mistake, w. virginia can stick some points on the board. the problem being, can their defense stop you from doing the same? not this week. take the red raiders to make a comeback after last weeks miss.

10/13 oregon st @ byu. coach riley and the beaves still flying in heady territory. byu has been all over the place so far this season. take oregon st to win.

10/13 stanford @ notre dame. possibly another good game. domers playing well along with the trees. if the game were in stanford i’d pick the trees. it isn’t. take the golden domers to win.

10/13 fresno st @ boise st. team smurf turf is hard to beat at home. even though new mexico gave boise a scare a few weeks ago and fresno is a better team i’m taking boise st to win.

10/13 usc @ washington. the trojans occasionally have trouble with the huskies on their home turf. i doubt they’ll let that happen this year. no heisman for matt. it’s all about the pac 12 title now. take usc to win. FIGHT ON!!

10/13 s. carolina @ lsu. i’m not impressed with lsu. but apparently others are. s. carolina is playing better football. a tight game but not a defensive snooze fest. take the old ball coach and the gamecocks to win.

another one in the books. as always, seared red meat and red wine always pair well for game days. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 6

week 5 turned out to be my best week of the season so far with a sweet 7 for 10. something i’m happy to take into week 6. my over all now stands at 22 for 50. a borderline respectable record. last week’s results just go to show that picking winners against the spread is no easy feat. something i’ve said over and over again. i’m also quite certain that had i gone my usual route i wouldn’t have done as well considering just how close a number of the games were.

i’m just picking winners again this week. no point spreads. i don’t have the time once again. while in las vegas last week we learned a piece of property, more like an albatross around my neck, and party house i own had finally sold after far too long on the market. in the end, a very good thing but it sold for no where near what it was worth in the old days. i digress. the sale is a cash deal and escrow will close this week. i’ve got way too much to do in the next few days clearing the joint out in the 100 degree plus heat of an early socal fall. hence, just winners again with no spread involved this week. maybe things will settle down for me by week 7.

now that we’re into week 6 the fighting road kill tech schools are back to playing amongst themselves for the most part. although picking the 10 games was still not easy as there are a number of good games coming down the pike this weekend. with any luck at all things will have cooled off for me and i’ll be able to enjoy a day on the couch watching them this saturday as i hardly saw any of the games last weekend.

this mess is for entertainment purposes only. taking anything seen here to any sort of betting establishment legal or otherwise and using it to place a bet would be incredibly asinine. leave your money in your wallet where it belongs and no one gets hurt. taking care of yourself and your family is more important.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/4 usc @ utah. usc is playing well again after their loss to the trees. utah is only playing so so. the men of troy should have no problem taking out the utes. if they don’t i’m certain matt barkely will be very sorry he came back this year. take the trojans. FIGHT ON!!!

10/6 boise st @ southern mississippi. team smurf turf travels to the deep south saturday where the golden eagles aren’t playing very well at all this year. boise may run into a bit of trouble though. new mexico played them very tough last week and boise came no where near covering the spread. no spreads again this week so take boise st to win.

10/6 lsu @ florida. i’m not impressed by lsu so far this year and their early season schedule. however, florida’s isn’t much better. take florida to win.

10/6 iowa st @ tcu. probably one of the more interesting games this week. if it were being played in iowa the cyclones might have a shot. it isn’t. take tcu to win.

10/6 oklahoma @ texas tech. possibly another good game. the sooners will probably be favored. take the red raiders to win in an upset. on another note, if you have the time and interest please visit: http://www.vietnam.ttu.edu if you noodle around you can find some of my donated stuff there.

10/6 washington st @ oregon st. the beaves in some pretty heady territory. good for them and coach riley. the magic continues. take oregon st to win.

10/6 georgia @ s. carolina. another solid game here, kids. i’m taking the old ball coach and the home team here. you should too.

10/6 w. virginia @ texas. in reality neither school is that impressive so far this year. take texas to win.

10/6 nebraska @ ohio st. another of those reality bites deals here. i’m taking the cornhuskers to win.

10/6 washington @ oregon. the huskies beat the trees last weekend. are they that good or was it just a case of the trees counting on an upset headline getting them thru the rest of the season? maybe or maybe not. the thing is they have no shot this week. my beloved ducks may not cover whatever spread there is but they will win. count on it. take oregon to win. QUACK QUACK!!!

there you go. enjoy your week and the up coming games. i’ll will be especially with that escrow check in hand. as always, seared red meat and red wine pair well with college football. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 5

eddie catalina had weathered worse weekends but nothing quite like the past one. in some sort of semi delusional death wish he’d taken his car and rent money and bet it all on 10 of the worst college football picks imaginable. sure, some of them looked good and even made sense in that death wish sort of way. but he knew he was in big trouble by mid afternoon on saturday.

the odd thing was he really didn’t care. the third floor walk up in the eastern part of downtown los angeles and his 10 year old car had lost whatever luster was left or ever had been there. things had tumbled out of control and he was resigned to what would come soon enough.

another strange thing was he didn’t even have the car or rent money anymore. after losing the game that tilted the deal below what would mean busting out even he had taken the car and rent money and blown it all and then some. that was even before the total disaster became, oh so apparent. all the money he had was blown on a bizarre drunken whore mongering night in the illegal after hours mexican ‘nightclubs’ in his neighborhood. a long night that found him drunk, alone and asleep at his kitchen table around noon sunday.

the pounding on the door woke him up. it took a second or two to realize it was morning, the sun was up, and he was still drunk. very drunk. stumbling to the door he opened it. two thugs pushed their way inside. the larger of the two shut the door and stood by it.

the smaller one spoke.

so where were you last night? it looks like getting drunk on your sorry ass. and that’s no excuse. there are no excuses. you know the rules. payment is due on all bets at midnight sharp. pay up now plus another $1,000 in vig for our trouble. don’t fucking piss don vincenzo off any more than he already is.

standing there in his under ware, head down looking at the floor he thought, good thing i’m still drunk. maybe the broken bones won’t hurt so bad.

broken bones or maybe. just maybe. yes, a mad hangover haze grab for the rusty but loaded .357 under the three day old newspaper on the table. for you see, as dawn had broke that sunday morning, lonely broken drunken dreams made him pull it out of the bottom of his old army duffel bag. he’d passed out before he could use it. now maybe. just maybe. he could make use of it for some other purpose.

the smaller man slapped him to the floor. eddie used the table to help himself to his feet. his hand slipped under the paper. he gripped the pitted and splintered walnut pistol butt. he spun around firing. his finger pulling the trigger as fast as he could. sound, smoke, and the smell of cordite filled the small room.

the two mobsters lay there bleeding their last seconds of life out onto the cracked yellowed linoleum floor. eddie catalina’s troubles had only just begun.

(if you’re interested in reading the entire, ‘eddie catalina’, saga you can find it here on this site in the categories section.)

poor eddie. that could happen to you if you were using my pathetic football picks for any of your betting stupidity this year. another dismal 3 for 10 last week making my over all 15 for 40. my worst week so far and drifting even further away from 50%. the good thing being there are another 8 weeks left in the season. surely i’ll hit a few 7 or 8 for 10′s down the road. right? sure.

remember this mess is for entertainment purposes only. taking whatever you can from here and using it to place some sort of bet with whoever would be total insanity on your part. don’t do it. keep your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and nobody gets hurt.

no points or spreads this week. family day on sunday then off to las vegas early tuesday morning preclude any of that stuff. by not doing the points it may even help my over all for a change. yes, i’ve done this before, at least one week during the season when life gives me more things to do than writing this insanity.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/27 stanford @ washington. let’s see. the trees beat usc and the huskies played doormat portland st. possibly an interesting game. take the trees to win.

9/28 hawaii @ byu. norm chow heads back into byu country as a new head coach for a visit to one of his former employers. sadly, i honestly don’t think he has a chance to win this game. even with byu’s poor showing against boise last week. take byu to win.

9/29 minnesota @ iowa. minnesota is undefeated. imagine that. of course, a couple of the wins were against fighting road kill state. iowa isn’t playing well at all. the golden gophers stay undefeated. take em.

9/29 ohio st @ michigan st. the spartans didn’t play well against the domers last week in domerland. ohio st has played only one real FBS team this year. and that was cal, whom they barely beat. home field home team. probably an upset win. take michigan st.

9/29 boise st @ new mexico. boise st should win this one but the lobos might make it interesting. take boise st to win.

9/29 tcu @ smu. i picked this game because it might be a good one. meaning a close one. semi sort of rivalry going here. tcu playing their usual good ball. smu in the doldrums sorta like my picks. the mustangs step it up this week. even so take tcu to win.

9/29 texas @ oklahoma st. thus far okie st has been unimpressive. at least texas has played FBS schools so far this year. maybe not the best of the FBS but not huey, dewey, and louie state either. the cowboys may step it up for this semi sort of state rivalry thing. none the less, take the longhorns to win.

9/29 mississippi @ alabama. ole miss is another school playing well so far. if this were a home game for them and depending on the points i’d probably take them. the reality is it isn’t a home game and i’m not doing points this week. take bama to win. ROLL TIDE!!

9/29 oregon st @ arizona. arizona got whupped big time last week by the ducks. the beaves prevailed in the heat against the bruins. call me crazy. take oregon st to win.

9/29 oregon @ washington st. pirate mike got beat by winless colorado last week. let’s see if he makes a decent showing against the ducks on saturday. even if he does the cougars won’t win. take oregon to win. QUACK QUACK !!

another week in the books. seared red meat and red wine are always a good idea for college football saturday. enjoy the games and try to remain sane. enjoy your week as well. i know we will. it’s a las vegas bon appetit week. woohoo!!

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 4

after another sub par week i’m beginning to wonder if i’m ever going to make it out of the doldrums this season. eventually i’m sure i will. this week maybe? last weeks games were the all to similar 4 for 10 deal. leaving me with an over all of 12 for 30 heading into this week. things could be worse or better as i’m still hovering around the drain and looking at fifty percent. ah well. just one more week of teams unable to cover the spread or kickers who can’t make a field goal. or not seeing what should have been obvious regarding stanford and sc.

one would think that by week 4 finding 10 games to pick would be a simpler matter than the previous weeks were. well, pilgrims, think again. the majority of schools are still playing pickpocket tech or fries with that burger? state. it’s a sad thing indeed. i prefer the old days when playing the sisters of the poor was only allowed like once every four years. now teams like alabama play at least 3 of them during the year and take a week off as well. then at the end of the year gloat about being ranked number one or whatever. it’s hard to stay focused and interested with all that absurdity going down. which is probably why i spent the weekend engrossed with stephen king’s, “11/22/63″, instead of paying attention to the games. sue me. i digress. i know i belabor this point but, if this current state of let’s play captain kangaroo tech keeps up college football will see TV’s going dark on saturday afternoons. count on it. spin doctors and TV talking heads can say what they want but it doesn’t change anything at all. only a fool would care if alabama/ohio st/texas et al defeat wolfgang puck culinary arts tech 63-0 three or four times a season. it’s meaningless and a waste of everyone’s time. just sayin’.

remember this mess is for entertainment purposes only. don’t go running off to your local branch of the bent nose wise guys and try to make a killing using whatever golden dust you can pan from here. that would be asinine on various levels. don’t do it. leave your money where it belongs, in your wallet, and no one gets hurt.

the odds posted here are what i use to determine my wins and losses. they may change before game time. i don’t care.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/20 byu @ boise st. boise favored by 7.5 points. i’m a bit surprised the broncos are favored here. though byu’s kicker missed several shots at winning their game last week. sorta shades of boise st last year. at any rate, smurf turf territory and boise rarely loses at home. though they may not always cover the spread. a story that started last year. byu may surprise. none the less, take boise st to win and cover.

9/22 oregon st @ ucla. ucla favored by 11.5 points. ucla in a new heady era under coach mora, 3 and 0 so far and in the top 25. something we and they haven’t seen in ages. still summer hot here in the land of the lalas this week and a 12:30 game time. i may have to start hydrating now just so i can watch it and not have to call 911 by the 4th quarter. the beaves have had 2 weeks to get ready for this one. they’re probably still flying high after taking down a not as nearly good wisconsin team as everybody thought. the heat takes it’s toll on both squads. take the bruins who’ve been living in our hottest summer in 3 or 4 years to win and cover.

9/22 missouri @ south carolina. south carolina favored by 10 points. the old ball coach has the gamecocks playing some good ball even if two of their wins are against a couple of borderline sisters of the poor schools. vanderbilt gave them a scare in week 1 as well. the gamecocks roll. take them to win and cover the spread.

9/22 colorado @ washington st. washington st favored by 18 points. colorado may go winless this year. pirate mike’s first game against a pac 12 school making it their first league win as well. take washington st to win and cover the points.

9/22 california @ usc. usc favored by 16 points. in losing the bears played better than expected against ohio st last week. the trojans continued their losing streak against the trees while also continuing their run not covering the spread for the year. a sad thing to be sure. if the offensive line shows up for the game the trojans should win but take the bears to get inside the points. FIGHT ON!!

9/22 michigan @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 7 points. the domers are like boise, hardly losing within sight of the dome. well, if they have any sort of team that is. big blue goes down in south bend. take take touchdown jesus to win and cover.

9/22 kansas st @ oklahoma. oklahoma favored by 16 points. keeping it simple here. take the sooners to win and cover.

9/22 clemson @ florida st. florida st favored by 14 points. so far this season the seminoles are running up some points. no reason they shouldn’t continue to do so this week. take florida st to win and cover the spread.

9/22 utah @ arizona st. arizona st favored by 7.5 points. both schools first game of the season for league play. the game is pretty much a toss up. take the sun devils to win and cover.

9/22 arizona @ oregon. oregon favored by 23.5 points. my beloved ducks finally managed to cover the spread last week for i think the first time this year. too bad they weren’t one of my ten teams for the week. the wildcats can score some points. take arizona to get inside the spread. they may not win but they will do that. take em.

week 4 in the books. a mostly favorite weekend but then some weeks are like that. as always seared red meat and red wine pair well with college football. enjoy your week. try and stay sane or at least semi sane watching the games. week 5 will be out next monday morning as we head to las vegas early on tuesday.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 3

astute regular readers will notice this is a day early. good for you. the reason being is i broke a tooth last night and i have no idea what sort of pain and suffering the dentist will bring this week. at the moment the tooth doesn’t hurt, however, i’m sure that will change when i visit my dentist today. with any luck at all things will be back to normal next week.

in some sort of a deja vu all over again madness, last week’s trip into the college football world resembled my first week’s trip into the heart of darkness. right down to the trojans and ducks not covering the spread. if they had and michigan as well it would have been a pretty good week. so, once again a stinky 4 for 10 making my over all a paltry 8 for 20. not good. maybe things will change this week. uh huh.

picking my 10 games for this week was just as hard as it was for the first two weeks of the season. we are in week 3 and the ducks are playing tennessee tech. what is going on here? is there no end to let’s play the southwestern dental hygienist college and taxidermy tech for half the season? i guess not. after all it’s the brave new world of college football. sorta like tee ball and soccer for kids. there are no losers just winners. everybody is a winner. uh huh. right. the collectivists are winning. but i digress.

be that as it may, the important thing to remember is this is for entertainment only. using anything you find here and taking that information and using it for legal or illegal betting purposes would be insane. your family would probably have grounds to stick you someplace well padded for one of those 72 hour observation deals if you do. don’t do it. keep your money where it belongs, in your wallet. you have more important things to do with your cash. food and rent come to mind among other things.

point spreads seen here are what i go by when determining my wins and losses. they may change over the course of the week but i don’t care. they are what they are. let’s do this thing.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/15 wake forest @ florida st. florida st favored by 24.5 points. this will be florida state’s first real test of the season. yeah, ok. wake forest too. i’m not real sure just why the noles are in the top 10 considering who’ve they’ve played so far this year. yes, of course, excuse me. a bunch of points. what a way to start the week. more kool-aid drinking or is it arsenic? take florida st to win and cover the points.

9/15 tcu @ kansas. tcu favored by 21 points. charlie weis, in case you’ve missed it, has a new coaching gig with the kansas jay hawks. it should be interesting or maybe not. after all, kansas isn’t kansas st, toto. another one with too many points. take tcu to win and cover the spread.

9/15 alabama @ arkansas. no line. a toss up at the moment. bama beat michigan in week one. the razorbacks lost last week to the sisters of the poor. hopefully, that drops them out of the top 10 or even the top 25. if i ran things i would guarantee it. the tide also play western carolina on november 17th. excuse me? you play some junior college squad the weekend before thanksgiving. and you’re numero uno? i’m getting a bit ahead of myself here. one of those interstate rivalry deals. at least there aren’t any points to cover. take the tide to win straight up. ROLL TIDE!!

9/15 florida @ tennessee. tennessee favored by 2.5 points. this might be an interesting game even though florida has hardly been impressive so far. along with tennessee playing a couple of schools no one has ever heard of. what the hell am i thinking? i should send this game to the scrap heap where it belongs but i’m not. further evidence for doing that is florida for some reason is actually a top 25 team. take tennessee and the home field advantage. volunteers win and cover.

9/15 usc @ stanford. usc favored by 10 points. the men of troy should have no trouble winning this one. the main point, of course, will be: can they cover the spread for the first time this year? a secondary point will be: are the trees once again playing the role of spoilers? a role they can be pretty good at playing. i have to take usc because at some point they will win and cover the damn spread. hopefully it will be this week. FIGHT ON!!

9/15 notre dame @ michigan st. michigan st favored by 3.5 points. my first time this season with the golden domers. who last week had a hard time with purdue. yeah, that purdue. so what do we have here? two top 25 teams(amazingly enough) and probably a good game. thankfully a home game for the spartans. michigan st wins and covers the points.

9/15 utah st @ wisconsin. wisconsin favored by 14 points. yeah, wisconsin again. i need a lock for the week. though maybe playing at home will inspire them to play like they are a top ranked football team. (i have several bridges in new york city for sale if any of you are interested.) utah st is playing like one but they aren’t on any ones radar. yet. maybe they will be after this week. time tells. the badgers may win but utah st gets inside the points.

9/15 texas @ mississippi. texas favored by 10.5 points. texas is playing some ok ball. even beating a couple of my odd couple teams the first two weeks of the season. ole miss on the other hand was playing around with a couple of sisters of the poor holden caulfield fencing tech schools. mississippi at home against one of the perennial big boys is tempting to say the least. i like ole miss in this one. take mississippi to get inside the spread.

9/15 byu @ utah. byu favored by 3.5 points. if utah had beaten utah st last week you could possibly say this was for the state championship. however, that probably isn’t going to happen until byu plays utah st on october the 5th. pretty much a toss up. byu is on a mission, no pun intended, take them to win and cover.

9/15 houston @ ucla. ucla favored by 17.5 points. houston is a wreck just 2 weeks into the season. they give some guy one game as offensive co-ordinator then fired him and send him on his way after he loses his first gme. makes sense to me. if only ucla had done that with slick rick. or touchdown jesus with charlie weis. i digress. what’s interesting here is it looks like coach mora has the bruins looking and playing like some dick vermeil team from way back when. that’s fine by me. as it’s a good thing when both lotus land teams are playing some good football. houston beat the bruins last year. that isn’t going to happen this year. a semi vaguely large number of points to cover but i think the bruins will win and do just that. take them.

week 3 picks are on the books. maybe this week is the end of the fighting sisters of the poor and their super natural hold on college football. or maybe not. just remember seared red meat and red wine always pair well with college football saturday. be safe. be semi sane. enjoy the games.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 2

i think hurricane isaac may have slopped through here last week along with the middle part of the country. i won my first three games then took a header and ended up underwater. ah well, the joys of week one college ball. although if the trojans had managed to score just one more point i would have evened out. as it were i went 4 for 10. not very good but all things considered i did pick more winning teams than losers. however, most of the winners i did pick couldn’t manage to cover the points. a sad thing to be sure. as always, remember the main point of this mess is for entertainment purposes only. plus, the fact i’m liable to say something most other places won’t or can’t due to whatever reason(s). at any rate, it’s early in the season and if the past is any barometer to the future you can count on me hitting an 8 for 10 or 7 for 10 a couple of times this season. or doing worse than last week. capisco? think irreverent, or as some may, irrelevant entertainment.

with any luck and or mojo at all i should be hovering around 51-52% at the end of the season. maybe better. time tells. that being said, i read last week some betting line point spread maven touting they had the best percentage against the spread last year and they were at around 62%. for an old burnt out wreck i guess i do ok. yeah, sure, watch as the jinx is now set, off, and running.

as for week 2, it was just as difficult to pick the ten games as it was for week 1. due to the fact way too many FBS schools use the first two weeks of the season as fall training. a sorry practice if there ever was one. though on occasion the heidi klum junior college and parking lot attendants academy does throw an FBS school a floating knuckle curve ball. ask penn st about that one. or navy for that matter. yeah, ok, the domers aren’t in that category as yet. i digress.

digressing even further, once again, this is for entertainment purposes only and being such means using anything you glean here shouldn’t be taken to any sort of sports book legal or otherwise. it would be dumb on numerous levels. don’t do it. keep your money where it belongs in your wallet and no one gets hurt. i use the odds posted here to determine my wins and losses for the week. i don’t care if they change during the week.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/7 utah @ utah st. utah favored by 7 points. week 2 kicks off with one of the better rivalries which used to be left to the end of the season. ah, the brave new world of college ball. hang on kids it will only get worse down the road. at least utah st scheduled one of the better FCS programs for week one. ok. a good match-up here and one worth watching. i think this one will be closer than it looks. take utah st to cover the points and maybe win.

9/8 iowa st @ iowa. iowa favored by 3.5 points. another traditional rivalry funneled into the beginning of the season. i don’t get it. iowa st had a better week than iowa last week and it was against a better team than iowa played. toss up here. take the cyclones to beat the spread or even win.

9/8 air force @ michigan. michigan favored by 21.5 points. granted the airedales (for the uninitiated airedales was a term used during the vietnam war by the other services when speaking unofficially about the air force. sorta like ‘squid’ or ‘jarhead’. a term of endearment.) didn’t play bama last week but they did win. michigan should do somewhat better this week agains the falcons. or that’s the hope and i’m sure that thought is being bandied about in the coaches locker room in ann arbor. michigan rights the ship this saturday. take wolverines to win and cover.

9/8 usc @ syracuse. usc favored by 26.5 points. syracuse had no trouble losing to northwestern last week. usc had trouble finding me one more lousy point. usc may also be heading toward another date with ncaa trouble. sadly, probably due to a couple of exes (petey and his boss, the ever stupid, mike g) and kids who are dumber than the two of them. or maybe think they won’t get caught. regardless. it’s some of that trouble down the road stuff. good luck pat haden. thankfully less points to cover than last weeks game. take the trojans to win and cover the points. FIGHT ON!!!

9/8 wisconsin @ oregon st. wisconsin favored by 7.5 points. the beavers first game and they just might have a chance here as wisconsin barely survived against northern iowa in week 1. gone are the heady days of the brothers rodgers for oregon st. in their stead it’s trouble in beaver town. or maybe not with only this meager spread. take the beavers to get inside the points and or even win.

9/8 fresno st @ oregon. oregon favored by 34 points. good luck bulldogs. you are gonna need all you can scrounge up. my beloved ducks need to cover the spread or this will be another possibly nasty weekend for myself. the ducks take care of business this saturday. take oregon to win and cover the spread even as large as it is. QUACK QUACK!!!

9/8 washington @ lsu. lsu favored by 23.5 points. i guess the question for me would be, who’s more annoying? les miles or nick saban? probably to close to call. at any rate, the huskies have a quality qb and receiver in price and williams. it’s another one of these, can the underdog line do the job both ways deals? tough call for me here. the pac 12 homer in me says go for it but reality stares back. screw it. take the huskies to beat the spread.

9/8 nebraska @ ucla. nebraska favored by 4.5 points. weather geeks are predicting 100 degree temps for this weekend here in the valleys. not that the huskers aren’t used to high heat. at least it’s a late afternoon game. things may or may not have cooled down by then. i hope the huskers enjoy their trip to the rose bowl. it’s the only time this year (including the time around new year’s day) they’ll be playing in pasadena. pretty much a toss up. the bruins find a way to cover the points and possibly win.

9/8 new mexico @ texas. texas favored by 37.5 points. after last weeks win for the lobos and new head coach bob davie i had to pick this one. on the other side of the coin if i had gone with wyoming i’d have had another winner. would’ve. could’ve. should’ve. i’m thinking this might be a good game and one i hope is on TV someplace other than the longhorn network. i think this game will tell us if coach davie has the lobos up and ready to play football after several years in the doldrums and as cellar dwellers. more kool-aid drinking here. glug glug. take new mexico to somehow manage to get inside the spread.

9/8 oklahoma st @ arizona. oklahoma st favored by 13.5 points. if it’s going to be 100 here then it will likely be 150 southeast of here over in tucson. at least game time is 7:30, just after sunset, temps should be in the high 80′s or low 90′s. sweet. the wildcats aren’t savannah that’s for sure and hopefully they give the cowboys a run for their money. all that being said take oklahoma st to win and cover.

week 2′s picks are in the books. try and enjoy your week. i think i’ll spend mine out at the barbie again roasting up some more hatch, new mexico, green chiles. as always, red meat and red wine work well together on game days. play it smart. take it easy. enjoy this weeks games.

jmh

2012 college football picks & predictions week 1

the college football season has finally arrived albeit somewhat bruised and out of breath. but it is here and i’m somewhat excited albeit somewhat bruised and out of breath myself. we got a playoff but it’s two years down the road and then we’re stuck with it for 14 years even if it blows chunks the size of texas or the powers that be screw it up somehow or another. that’s something you can probably count on. just sayin’. at any rate, i’ve touched on that stuff in other posts.

as usual, i’m picking 10 games for this weekend and every week this season as well. also pretty much par is the fact it isn’t easy finding 10 games the first week of the season that are worth the time and effort to watch. much less come up with a pick/prediction due to the fact a good portion of the FBS schools are playing the sisters of the poor and disenfranchised junior college teams. yeah, they just keep on keeping on doing that. one of the reasons they trotted out for no playoffs, ‘we just don’t have enough time.’ well, you would if you stopped playing those high school squads. the FCS managed to add even more teams and games to their playoff system that goes on for several weeks. erg, the first week and the second paragraph and i’ve already veered onto the far shoulder barely missing oncoming traffic.

ok. so. 10 games. i pick the winners based on the point spreads generated by the point spread generators. not an easy thing but i plod on and have for several if not more seasons. i use the points here to determine winners even though they might change before game times. i don’t care. the most important thing to be aware of here is this adventure is for fun only. capisco? traipsing off to your local branch of the goodfella association or off to vegas or off shore to place some sort of bet using my picks/predictions here would be described as insanity of the highest order. don’t do it. ever. even though later in september i’ll be staying out in that desert mecca for a few days. but that’s apples and oranges. you have bills to pay and families to feed. betting on college football games will make it difficult to take care of those priorities. first things first. always remember that. with that being said, let’s do this thing.

rock ‘n’ roll.

8/30 ucla @ rice. ucla favored by 15.5 points. you have to pick this one with the new coach and all. especially after he tossed the murderer bon mot about a few weeks ago. yeah, ucla is a nice campus over on the west side and usc is on the east side in the valley of death kinda and it is a semi sorta ‘west side story’ deal with the schools. good old coach mora tossed the first hand grenade of the season in the war of the city of lost angels. a new coach and yet another new qb for the bruins. who are supposed to be over the slick rick era and off to the races once again. they shouldn’t have a problem with rice. who is believe it or not an FBS school or at least was the last time i checked. take the bruins to win and cover the spread.

8/30 washington st @ byu. byu favored by 13.5 points. another new coach, mike leech, takes the reins and is supposedly taking the cougars places. which would be a good thing since things have gone sideways since the days of mike price. time tells. at any rate, probably a good football game. one you ought to watch if you can. despite pirate mike and state take byu to win and over.

8/31 boise st @ michigan st. michigan st favored by 7 points. the first really big game of the season. has boise st reloaded? will the boys of the smurf turf keep on rolling only to be disssed in the end by the lame duck BCS bozos? another time tells story but we should know a little more after this one is over. we’ll know more about both schools. stay tuned. this is a tough one to pick given boise’s track record over the past few years and the spartans are well, the spartans. boise st may not win but take them to at least get inside the spread.

9/1 clemson @ auburn. clemson favored by 3 points. a game i don’t have much interest in other than the fact i had to find my 10 games. although maybe auburn will play spoiler again this year. the game is basically a toss up and unless things go really bad for one or the other it will be close. auburn will surprise, take them.

9/1 hawaii @ usc. usc favored by 39.5 points. the trojans begin the year welcoming norm chow back to the coliseum. his first visit back as a head coach. more questions to be answered here as well kids. or that’s the hope. the men of troy off to the top of the charts as it were. coach lane recruiting like a madman even with his sanctions leftover from coach petey’s tenure. will coach norm succeed like june jones hawaiians did? a game to watch if available in your area. yes, it’s a barrel of points. however, if the men of troy are serious about a national championship season they need to roll the numbers up. drink the kool-aid and take the trojans to win and cover. FIGHT ON!!!!

9/1 michigan @ alabama. alabama favored by 13 points. another big game for the first week. big blue heads south. is brady hoke another general sherman? highly doubtful but good old boy nick saban rubs me the wrong way. yeah, well sue me. pundits are split as to whether the trojans or bama will end the season at number one and in the BCS bowl champ deal. that is a semi sort of long way off. at least both teams scheduled decent opponents the first week of the football year. i love the tide but don’t care for the coach. a good game for sure. if the game were in ann arbor michigan might have a chance. it isn’t. take bama to win and cover. ROLL TIDE!!

9/1 wyoming @ texas. texas favored by 29.5 points. another one of those filler games in search of my ten. although the cowboys went 8-5 last year and had one of their best finishes in awhile. texas should walk all over them but wyoming might keep it interesting. i hope they do. none the less take texas to win and cover.

9/1 oklahoma @ utep. oklahoma favored by 30.5 points. i probably should have avoided this game and gone with the southern mississippi game instead. oh well. the sooners should take this one to the bank. i doubt utep will keep it interesting. bank on the sooners to win and cover.

9/1 arkansas st @ oregon. oregon favored by 35.5. my beloved ducks take on one of those borderline schools. a school no one knew existed a few years ago other than the kids who went there, their parents, the staff, and a few parole officers. how things have changed. one thing that i’m quite certain hasn’t is the atmosphere at auzten stadium. the team from arkansas has never experienced anything close to what his game will bring. the only way to stop the rabid homer crowd is to score and score often while keeping the ducks from doing so. yeah, like that’s going to happen. pundits are calling arkansas st the next boise st. a tall order for sure and it will take a lot more for me to jump on that stagecoach. the ducks steamroll. take the ducks to cover and win even with the new phil knightmare duds. QUACK QUACK!!!

9/1 southern miss @ nebraska. nebraska favored by 20 points. a late scratch by myself brings this game into play replacing san diego st @ washington. sure why not? if the golden eagles can handle both sides of the line they have a shot at this one. probably a good game to watch. i’m taking southern miss to at least get inside the 20 points. you should too.

there you go. the first week of the shortest sporting season, college football. enjoy the games. don’t get too crazy. just remember seared red meat and red wine pairs well with college football. i think i’ll spend the pre-game week roasting hatch green chiles, along with red, orange, and yellow bell peppers out on the barbie and drinking dago red while i’m waiting.

jmh

2012 college football season preview

we’re less than a month away from a new year of college football. the off season has been anything but bland to say the least. we got playoffs during the down time but not until two years from now in 2014. god forbid anything should change quickly. though when bringing punishment upon college players who were in junior high school when things went sideways at penn st doesn’t take as long. i guess the NCAA wanted to look like they were relevant and doing something or anything. schools continued to jump ship and move around the country making airlines rub their collective hands over someone getting the job of moving teams across the entire breadth of the land once a week for 12 weeks. makes me wish i was in the airline business or a league commissioner as the SEC/Big 12 get $80 million when their bowl game comes into play. talk about winning the lottery.

yeah, lots of stuff went down the last 9 months. including plenty of players and coaches getting arrested and thrown off squads as well. i’m sure we’ll see more of that action in the weeks to come. it makes an old heart grow even fonder for the olden days of college ball. i’ve been saying this the past few years…i’m almost to the point of giving up on college football. the lack of principles and the money money money mind set of the schools, commissioners, coaches, and TV clowns, are in my mind killing the game. then of course, you have some of the players themselves doing whatever they can in order to bring down the game i used to love more than any other game.

i may make it through this year and the next or maybe not. time tells. when the playoffs coming rolling into our living rooms it might be a different story. different because if you think THEY won’t somehow or another totally screw up the deal, i have some prime desert real estate i think you ought to invest in or outright buy. hey, it only took em 40 years or so after the playoffs were originally talked about to get what did get done. when they do mess up the deal we’re stuck with it for what? 14 years? yep, leave it to the morons in charge to deal from the bottom of the deck any time they think they can get away with it. they’ve been doing it for so long it’s the only thing they know. well, that and endless stripper scavenger hunts along with bales upon bales of cold hard cash.

fear not, pilgrims, when week one of the season rolls around the end of august i’ll be here with my weekly picks and predictions just like the past 4 years. of course, i should be making some sort of pre-season top 10 25 or something another. i never have so why should i start now? ok. so i used to do a usc and oregon season preview. i can’t get worked up enough anymore for that. maybe if i was getting paid for this i could manage.
for free? yeah, right.

in lieu of any of that stuff i’ll leave this insanity with something i wrote back in august of 2007, ‘something is in the air’. sadly, i buried my dad this past june and my feelings about pro football have began that slippery slide into college football. life moves morphs and changes. see you the week of the 31st.

jmh

if i’m not mistaken i think i heard the car radio say there’s only 20 some odd days left. yep, that’s it. then it’s over. the long long drought will finally be over. the endless or seemingly endless wait since the beginning of january. those long dog days of the college football fan. mixing metaphors here but who cares? not me. baseball blows but it’s in it’s dog days. like i said, us college football fans have been in the doldrums for months now. that, is soon to pass. anymore i’m strictly a college footbawh fan. yeah, seems like that’s the way some of my heroes pronounce it, footbawh. sorta like the correct way to pronounce golf is, goff. speaking of which, thank you tiger, for kicking that big mouth’s ass this past weekend. sabatini is bush league. major drifts already. college football or more to the point, amateur football, has been a big part of my life since i was a kid. my dad is a big fan having played high school ball back in the barnie oldfield days with the leather sorta helmet sans the face guard. as far back as i can remember we were going to local high school games whenever we could. if i wasn’t doing anything particular on a saturday night i’d make the road trip with my dad and one of his buddies to see the local junior college team play where ever they happened to be going here in so cal. that riff went on into and through my high school years. amateur football is in my blood.

hell, i even played pop warner football for 2 years. plus 2 years of high school football. that was before i realized i wasn’t quite big enough for the game and all the nagging little pains of playing the game just made it no fun anymore. i worked with a guy for a time that played division one football along with his brother, who went into the world football league and then the nfl. i asked him once why he didn’t play pro ball like his brother. he said he got tired of the all the little nagging pains. i told him i got tired of them in my sophomore year of high school. he laughed.

sure, i used to enjoy watching the pros play but anymore it’s just something i can’t get into. plus sitting around most of the day saturday watching as many games as i can get away with doesn’t make me want to sit around all day sunday and do it all over again. then there’s the g/f factor. she will put up with my saturday football jones for the coming 3 months but if it slops over into sunday she isn’t happy about it. fine by me. i’ve lost interest any the ways.

see, the thing about the pros is the league or owners don’t have any loyalty to the fans. prime example is al davis and his weirdness on every level imaginable. bottom line is, the trojans, notre dame, michigan, boise st, etal will always be where they are. they aren’t moving anywhere. ever. none of them are moving. oh, some of the schools might switch conferences. big deal. i don’t care. thing is tommy trojan isn’t moving anywhere for any price. same for notre dame’s golden dome. the pros? got enough money with a free stadium paid for by tax money then, hey, i’m there. see? no loyalty.

sure big money plays a part in the college game as well. the bcs deal is a freaking nightmare of total bullshit. it’s all about money. now a days everything is about money or sex. well, maybe it’s always been that way. yes, yes, yes, the college kids get a free ride and half of them don’t graduate and the schools make a ton of money. plus lots of the players are just assholes and products of our ever diminishing culture, be that as it may, without college football your sister/daughter ain’t going to any major school in the country on a field hockey scholarship. period. college football pays the way for all the other sports. women’s sports in particular.

ok. so i’ve been all over the place. i’m just amped that it’s 26 days and counting till football kicks off. amateur football. i’m even looking forward to the high school games on cable. no more road trips for me. i have all the football i can watch right in the comfort of all the rooms in the house that have a tv and that’s just about all of them. i would even watch pop warner games if they put em on tv. bring it on. amateur football is in my blood.

this evening’s music provided by, dave mason, ‘alone together’, a damn fine lp.

jmh

old soldiers never die…

they just fade away. douglas macarthur got that one right along with a few other things. yeah, old soldiers never die. or so it seems. the sad truth is they often do. the WW2 generation being at the forefront these days. my 97 year old dad being one of them as well. he’d been sick off and on since the end of march. i’d been at his hospital bedside and watched things being done to him that i wish now i hadn’t seen. he was an old soldier almost to the end. my encouragement to him to be that soldier once again and suck it up like the old days seemed to work at times. though near the end his infection won out and he lost what strength he had left for any more fighting. his death came suddenly but not unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago.

while in the emergency room waiting for a bed in the hospital he wanted to leave and go for a ride. ‘let’s get out of here and go for a ride’, were his words. i’d taken him out for a doughnut and coffee a week or so before and then out by the winery ghost town where he had worked and lived for a number of years after getting out of the army in 1945. where i had lived the first two years of my life. he hadn’t seen the place in a few years and was surprised and saddened by it all.

like mom, a few years ago, dad got to take that last ride the other morning. the brown eyed girl and i took dad’s ashes out to riverside national cemetery to be buried with his wife of almost 68 years. it was a small quiet service. punctuated by the volley of shots fired off by the regular army honor guard. a very moving experience if there ever was one. i’m sure dad enjoyed it as much as i did through my tears.

adios, pop. we love you and you will be missed. we’ll meet up again someday. until then, duermes con dios.

jmh

the rolling stones ~~ 50 years and counting

the brown eyed girl informed me this morning that since today is the 50th anniversary of the rolling stones first live show or some damn thing or another, and that folks were trotting out their top 10 stone’s song lists in honor of that sacred event.  so, she asked me if i was going to do a ‘list’.  i said no but have since decided why not in that this spring and early summer there hasn’t been much in the way of new stuff coming from this end of the space time continuum writing wise. 

 

i’m old but i wasn’t there to see the first rolling stones live show.  i didn’t get to see them live until november of 1969.  the infamous 3am performance at the forum here in southern california.   just a few weeks ahead of the even more infamous altamont show up by the city by the bay. a show i thankfully missed due to getting drafted into the army a few days before the whip came down up north.  at any rate, i’ve been a stones fan since i first heard them on the radio.  ’love is love and not fade away’.  things don’t get much better than that.  ok.  so here’s my list.  the caveat being it’s today’s list.  this moment’s list.  this evening after a nice home cooked meal composed of a wedge salad, bbqed hanger steak, roasted corn and lord knows how many glasses of dago red things might be different.  tomorrow morning as well.  or a week from next thursday.  get the picture?  i think you do.  the songs bottom to top are…

 

 

10.  sweet virginia.  yeah, scrape the shit right off your shoes.  reminds me of my long ago forgotten youth.  a back in the day type thing.

 

09.  i’m a king bee.  a youth and testosterone memory filled song.  although a re-make, one of their first great tunes.

 

08.  memo from turner.  yeah, we all work for you mick/keith.

 

07.  rip this joint.  more youth and testosterone.  alabam don’t give a damn.  little rock don’t give a fuck.  uh huh.    

 

06.  wild horses.  the song written for gram parsons.  

 

05.  the spider and the fly.   she’s common flirty she looks about thirty.  there’s a theme going on here.   

 

04.  let it bleed.  i was dreaming of a steel guitar engagement.  

 

03.  jigsaw puzzle.  love the song and the sentiment.  

 

02.  under assistant west coast promo man.  memories of huntington beach, ca many many moons ago along with a certain home in de onta.

 

01.  gimme shelter.  this is one thing that doesn’t change.  regardless of the mood.  number of glasses of vino.  or pretty much anything else.  their best song.  ever. 

 

 

i’m sure you have your favorites as well.  raise a glass and toast the original bad boys of rock and roll.  happy 50th anniversary lads!!

 

jmh    

 

a shift in time

it’s almost time for another memorial day weekend. the beginning of summer as it were. time to once again honor all those who never made it back from one of our endless wars. time to pause and raise a glass in honor of those soldiers. happy dead soldier weekend, my brothers and sisters. this post first appeared back in august of 2007.

jmh

i spent several hours yesterday on line at the vietnam center and archive, texas tech university.  lots of good stuff to noodle around and look at if you are a veteran or a history buff.  there’s numerous oral histories and collections in their museum to meander through as well.  it’s a very nice place and i’m more than happy to have given them what little stuff i had from my collecting or picking up stuff days from that place long ago.  what i was looking at wasn’t the oral histories or the museum stuff but their maps.  a very nice and easily negotiable 1:50,000 map of vietnam.  map sections blown up to very large jpgs, everything there.  all the contours, streams, rivers, and mountains with names so long ago forgotten but still remembered when given half a chance.  it’s odd to look at those maps and the places i once traveled thru or lived in and around.  seeing the names again brought back a flood of stuff.

i spent most of the time tracing the road trip from saigon to out where i was stationed in ham tan.  80 miles of 2 lane black top or hwy 1 as it was and is still known today.  the 40 miles or so out to xuan loc were fairly civilized even boasting mp(military police) speed traps.  yes, strange things in strange times.  the last 40 miles or so after xuan loc and a right turn were another story.  particularly the 30 or so miles of dirt road with the jungle closing in on both sides fighting it’s way back to life after many doses of agent orange.  that stretch of road had that certain pucker factor to it.  your body telling you, this ain’t right and can’t we just go someplace else, now, please.

that 80 mile road trip was my introduction to the wilder side of vietnam.  i’d spent a few days in the company area in bien hoa but i knew where i was going right from the start.  when the first sargent saw me his first words were, boy, you going to ham tan.  the die was cast and the deal went down a few days later when a solitary deuce and a half rolled into the company area to pick me up. 

i made that trip more than a few times in the old smoking deuce hauling building supplies out to ham tan in order to finish a bunker for our generators and large a/c units.  units used to cool all the communication gear inside the bunker.  that first trip though was an eye opener for sure. 

yeah, for 2 hours yesterday i was back on the road again.  memories exploding like a 105 round.  the last 40 miles of bad road in particular.  just like the old duane eddy tune from the early 60′s.  i think i’m still there today.  oh, i know i am today because the memories of those single deuce and a half trips have been running pretty much non stop since yesterday.  then again maybe i never left in the first place.

jmh

college football playoffs ~ a new look

the fools that are currently running, or more to the point, ruining college football have finally decided after much hand wringing and assorted weird juju they want to see playoffs in college football. though of course, we’re told not to hold our breath because they really aren’t so sure about any of it just yet. especially the big 10 or 12 or whatever it is these days. god forbid anything should just happen with those people.

at any rate, whatever the anointed finally decide upon will be stupid to be sure and as pointless as the current system. the brand new current system will be just as pointless and moribund in stupidity as the old system. plus the fact that at some point they will totally screw whatever they come up with up. you can count on that.

i’ve never been a fan of playoffs in college football. i’m old and old school. however, with all the league’s running amok and teams jumping leagues trying to catch the golden ring at the end of the season for a shot at the championship game. i’ve become pissed and disgruntled by the whole vapid experience. screw the deans, regents, commissioners, assorted other flacks, hangers on, big TV money, and the strippers they support. oh, and the damn bowl committees as well. i barely care anymore about them and the game they are hell bent on ruining. well, almost.

what would i do if i were running things? screw league play. it’s a waste of time and i’d dump it. i’d use college basketball’s march madness tourney model and adapt it to college football. sure why not? if you’re going to mess stuff up you may as well go for it. why just tweak and muddle stuff when you can toss out the baby along with the bath water at the same time? start all over as it were. begin anew.

ok. 64 teams. when you actually look closely at college football you’ll probably find only 64 FBS teams that are consistently good teams year in and year out. as for the rest of the schools who cares? right? they can do whatever they want except join this tournament. you take those 64 teams and they play one another in week 1. week 2 you have 32 teams left. by week 3 there are 16 teams remaining. now just to mix stuff up a bit you take the 32 teams who lost in week one and they all play each other in a double elimination round robin tournament while all the other games are going on. they would get down to 16 teams as well at some point or maybe 8 or 4. it would just depend on how crazed you wanted to get doing this playoff mode and how many weeks you want the season to be.

at any rate, i figure that by around thanksgiving you’d end up with 8 teams. 4 that went undefeated in their quest and 4 teams from the first 32 to be eliminated. those 8 teams would play each other and you’d end up with the four schools the deans and other related goofballs are now willing to tolerate in a 4 team playoff. pretty simple, right? damn straight it is. probably too simple for the simpletons running the show.

i say we give it a shot and see what shakes out. after all we could just go back to the old deal if this plan bombs. though i doubt it will. plenty of games on TV and the long suffering fans won’t have to sit through weeks of FBS teams playing crappy jr college squads, or worse, pick up teams composed of yahoos stupid enough to go up against ham handed drugged up college kids on football scholarships like they do now. it’s the proverbial win win if there ever was one. i can see it now and it’s a good thing.

jmh

my car’s current CD play list

first of all try not to confuse this with the desert island list that has run here a few times over the years. this is something entirely different. like the title says this is what’s currently out in my car and on my CD rotation in the car. nine CD’s of varying styles and types of music. why nine? because the cubby hole in the dash has limited space and only 9 CD’s fit in it. simple as that. i change the 9 out periodically and thought it would be a good time to share just what’s on my current play list. though there are times when one CD will will get constant play time and time again for months. what can i say? then there’s the fact i haven’t written anything here in awhile due to life’s floating knuckle curveballs dancing seemingly everywhere. ok. so without further or do here’s the list in no particular order.

from 2006 van morrison’s, ‘pay the devil’. this the CD that’s currently sitting inside the CD player. van the man giving his all in an homage to country music classics. the music he grew up listening to when his dad held record player sway. good stuff and some very fine solid musical accompaniment. stellar country classics such as ‘there stands the glass’ and ‘your cheatin’ heart’. something completely different from one of the all time greats and worth a listen for sure.

from 1973 gram parsons & the fallen angels live. gram and emmylou gettin’ country down. the CD is one of gram’s usual set lists from the time. the LP was recorded live and broadcast from WLIR in new york city in march of 73. ‘drug store truck drivin’ man’, ‘the streets of baltimore’, and ‘california cottenfields’ just to name a few of his classics tunes done live on the CD. take the time and listen if you haven’t heard this one before.

gram parsons anthology a two CD set. this CD rarely if ever leaves my car’s CD rotation. as a matter of fact, it was the only thing i listened to last summer. yes, over and over again. the beach boys, ‘smile’ finally took it out of the CD player for a few weeks. at any rate, gram parsons, the man who keith richards says changed the face of country music single handedly. and that without gram there probably wouldn’t have been a waylon jennings and the so called outlaw movement. heady praise to be sure from one of the all time rock ‘n’ roll greats. i love this CD set. music i just can’t get enough of. grams varied short lived career from the middle 60′s to his death in 1973 produced a legacy of music. from the international submarine band. the byrds’ ‘sweetheart of the rodeo’, probably one of the finest LP’s ever. the flying burrito bros. the fallen angels. and his solo work with emmylou harris, whom he discovered. it doesn’t get any better than gram parsons and his cosmic country music. plug it in. turn it up. and sing along. gram may be gone but thankfully his music isn’t.

from 1967 peter green’s fleetwood mac, ‘live at the marquee’. the original front man for fleetwood mac kicks out the blues jams. not the greatest sound quality but when the band rips into ‘shake your moneymaker’ it really doesn’t matter. this CD is what the 60′s and 60′s era blues bands were all about. a good CD for ruining your hearing or your car’s factory speakers.

the best of bob wills, ‘the millennium collection’. western swing played by bob wills and his texas playboys from the 40′s to the mid 50′s. stellar stuff to be sure. gimme that old time country music anytime. ah ha.

from 1969 savoy brown, ‘blue matter’. another 60′s british blues band that was one of the best. though this is another CD with poor sound remastering from the original vinyl. stuff like that matters to some folks. me? nah. crank it up and let ‘train to nowhere’ or ‘louisiana blues’ wash your troubles away.

from 2009 van morrison, ‘astral weeks – live at the hollywood bowl’. one of the true all time greats revisits one of his best LP’s done up very nicely live with more than amazing results. try this CD on for size if you’ve never experienced van morrison because you’re missing something.

from 1970 dave mason, ‘alone together’. an often over looked masterpiece from that era by one of the members of the band, traffic. not the longest LP ever made as it’s fairly short but within the space of the 8 tracks you’ll understand why this LP was and still is an all time great. ‘sad and deep as you’ along with ‘look at you look at me’ being my 2 favorites. it was one of my go to LP’s when i was in vietnam and it’s still a go to CD.

willie nelson, ‘super hits’. i found this one at target one day. $4.99. i thought it had to be some lame cover deal or something by toby keith or some other crappy country singer. nope. it’s the real deal willie doing all of his biggest hits with merle haggard thrown in on ‘pancho and lefty’. enough said.

generally speaking my car is where i listen to music. less distractions and no one telling me to turn down the music. plus, i can sing along when the need arises. always a good thing to be sure.

jmh

pretty sweet and happy feet

yesterday morning i was googling around trying to see if my facebook account had really been de-activated like they said it would. the reason being someone had come to this place via an old link in facebook. ah, no matter. what does matter was this link i stumbled upon.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/stewart_mandel/01/09/lsu-alabama-bcs-title-nation-divided/index.html

for some reason i’m unable to get the link thing to work right. mea culpa. just copy and paste the above into your browser. sorry for the trouble.

i suppose it’s a always a good thing to be the lead in a sports illustrated column written by stewart mandel. the only thing better would have been seeing it back in january when it was first published.
how did i miss it? i guess because i had no real interest in the game or the teams. so the pre-game hype and analysis meant nothing to me.

at any rate, stewart missed my point. sure at least 50% of the college football world was unhappy with the championship matchup or rematch or whatever. the point being is we need playoffs in DIV 1 college football. at the end of the season we were tossed a few kernels of corn pone by various league commissioners. we’re going to fix it. fear not. yeah, right. sigh.

after their winter meeting and stripper scavenger hunt was over nothing had changed. other than a few bs rule changes. they had resorted to their usual mantra and treachery yet again. no playoffs. we have finals then. the sacred bowl games and related skimming involved with them. millions and millions out there for the hoarding. we already play 12 games there’s just no time. we’re left at the phony alter of change once again, pilgrims. jilted and abused like a red headed stepchild.

let’s look at things a bit closer since the commissioners can’t seem to do it. the first two weeks of the season at least 85% of the schools play DIV 1A teams or even DIV 2 schools. some even toss in a couple of games against junior college teams or so it seems. then there’s the fact ALL of the schools get a week off during the season. if they stopped playing eastern mid-west jimi hendrix junior college teams they’d have the time for playoffs. they also don’t need a week off. they are football players for crying out loud. supposedly being tough is part of the package. oh right, they’re only tough when they foist themselves upon their fellow students and rip them off or assault them.

it’s a sad world we live in, kids. however, we can change things. we have the power. college football lives and thrives on money. big money. TV money. we don’t watch their inbred half empty bowls they’ll go away and we’ll get a playoff system. count on it.

jmh

double down pt 5

cypress johnny got the alarm bells to calm down a bit before he spoke again. though his mind was still racing. it always did when strangers came into the bar looking for the card game. especially this late in the evening. fact of the matter, there was a game going on in the back room. there was a game every wednesday night. friday and saturday nights as well. cypress johnny moved easily down the bar near the register. right at the spot where underneath the bar was a door behind which was a loaded .357. keeping his hands on the bar he nudged the small door open with his right knee.

card game? yeah. ok. deal is though, gents, it’s a private game. you have to be invited by someone. someone we know and trust. understand?

the brothers looked at one another then johnny basura spoke.

ah. yeah. ok. guess that wouldn’t be us then. right, jimmy?

suppose not, bro.

well fine then, cypress is it?

cypress johnny nodded.

yeah, well alright. we’ll finish our drinks and be on our way. no sense wasting our time if we can’t join the game. if we stick around town maybe we’ll be back so you get to know us better. you know…so…maybe we can play.

long as you don’t cause trouble you guys are welcome back anytime. we’ll have to see about the card game. i hope you understand.

oh, sure. not a problem. right, jimmy?

i got none.

the brothers finished their drinks said good night and left the bar. cypress johnny was glad to see them leave. they seemed ok but there was something about the two brothers. he figured he’d be seeing them again. their next visit might not be as friendly. it had happened before. jerry powell and his biker friends popped into cypress johnny’s mind as his hand reached under the bar to touch the .357.

outside the two brothers stood on the sidewalk taking in the cool night air. there was a tinge of cow crap smell mixed in with the night air.

well?

yeah, johnny. let’s do it. you smell the cow shit? brings back memories don’t it?

memories of mom beating us silly with a fly swatter? dad and his belt? come on, bro. forget that shit.

sure. i was just saying is all.

yeah yeah. ok. let’s get in the car and park down the street on the other side and watch the place for a while. it’s what? about 12:30? i figure the game will fold up around 2 when the bar closes.

johnny and jimmy got in the car and moved it to the other side of the street. they sat watching jacks or better for the next hour. the two old drunks left and that was it. no one else came out or went into the bar. the street was quiet as well. hardly any traffic and no cop cars at all.

johnny stirred and spoke.

now or never. time to roll little brother. i’ll take the glock, you grab the tire iron. we take out the bartender after he tells us where the game is. you should be able to get that out of him with a whack of two with the iron. though we may not need him. the ruckus might give the game up. we take everybody out. either with the 9mm or the tire iron. grab all the cash and get the hell out of this fucking shit hole for the last damn time. we probably ought to dump this car and pick up somebody’s in there. you with me?

yeah, johnny.

fine. onward.

johnny moved the car back to the other side of the street and parked. the brothers got out of the car and johnny checked the 9mm then slipped it in his waistband at the small of his back. the spare clip was in a back pants pocket. jimmy slid the tire iron up his jacket sleeve. it would drop effortlessly into his hand when the time came to wield it. as they got to the bar’s front door johnny whispered.

rock ‘n’ roll.

cypress johnny had given the card room last call. as he began cleaning up for the night he heard the front door open. not good he thought. never any good when somebody came around at closing time. he flashed back again to jerry powell. crap. no. he thought. he quickly ducked behind the bar and went straight for the .357. it was in his hand when he heard feet shuffling inside the bar. two of them he thought. the two brothers? he stayed down and quiet. he hoped no one came out of the card room.

hey! hello? anybody here?

who wants to know?

double down. johnny and jimmy basura. come out from behind there buddy and nobody gets hurt. real slow and show us your hands.

the name basura rang some sort of distant bell but cypress johnny had no time for that. he needed to act. the shuffling feet grew closer.

come on man. get up and show us your hands.

johnny and jimmy had their respective weapons out and at the ready. cypress johnny figured the two had to armed. he made a small noise by the register then silently duck walked down to the open end of the bar. he thought by making the noise the two brothers would be concentrating on the area around the register. he was right.

last chance my man. get up and show us your hands.

cypress stayed down and peeked around the corner of the bar. johnny had a gun and he was pointing it at the register. jimmy had a tire iron and had moved silently up to the bar. he was also looking at the register. the tire iron above his head ready to strike.

déjà vu all over again thought cypress johnny. crap. he took a deep breath. held it. quickly stood up. fired two rounds into johnny basura’s torso. both rounds found his heart and stopped it. cypress johnny then swung on jimmy. jimmy was moving toward him. screaming. two more shots rang out. the rounds impacted jimmy’s head. they blew the back of his head off. jimmy fell like a tree with the tire iron clattering to the floor. jimmy and johnny basura were dead. they lay in a heap on the bar room floor. blood slowly pooling about them.

cypress johnny walked over to the two dead men and kicked the glock out of johnny’s lifeless hand. he moved the tire iron away as well. no sense taking any chances. as he was doing this the card room door was slowly opening. a head stuck out from behind it. it was that night’s card dealer.

you ok cypress?

yeah, eddie. all clear. get everybody out of here and then i’ll call the cops.

sure cypress.

eddie went back into the room and hustled the six players out of the room and out the front door. after doing that he collected the house money and sat it on the bar. then he walked over to the dead bodies and looked at them.

you know cypress. these guys look sorta familiar.

as he said this, eddie otto was scratching a faint scar on his neck.

cypress johnny was dialing the phone.

bag the cash eddie and go home. i’ll put it away before the cops get here.

sure, cypress. sure.

the end

jmh

copyright 2012 john hauge all rights reserved

double down pt 4

johnny and jimmy’s arrival into their old home town was something neither had ever expected to happen again. ever. when they hit town johnny suggested changing the plates on their stolen car. they drove around ontario in silence looking for a likely candidate. both brothers spotted an older guy in an older model white volvo getting out of his car in grocery store parking lot. the lot was quiet and the man would probably be gone long enough for them to get the job done. changing the plates was quick and easy. when they were finished they tossed the plates from the stolen car in a trash can. then covered them up with some newspaper. as the brothers were leaving the store parking lot johnny spoke.

let’s go by the old place.

alright.

they took euclid avenue south almost down to northern chino and their old home. the home where they had killed both of their parents. when they arrived johnny stopped the car across the street from the old place. it looked the same to them even after all those years. the walnut tree still stood in a corner of the front yard. much larger of course. the biggest change being the old dairy was gone. long gone.

after a bit jimmy spoke.

i wonder who’s living there now? maybe we should go up to the door and ask if we can come in to see if they ever got all that blood off the kitchen floor.

both brothers laughed loudly as they pulled away from the curb.

let’s get something to eat.

sure, johnny, but not mexican. i’m sick of mexican.

yeah, me too. we’ll find something else.

finding something other than mexican food in downtown ontario or just about any place in ontario proved to be difficult. they had cruised up and down euclid several times before either of them spotted the chinese joint.

hey. chinese. i think i remember that place when we were kids. or maybe not. looks like they have a bar. sweet. we can at least tie one on.

sounds good to me. a couple of shots would suit me fine just about now.

amen, brother.

johnny parked the car at the curb and the two brothers entered the dimly lit restaurant. the smell of very old chinese food greeted them. not a bad smell but different. jimmy went to look for a bathroom while johnny sat at the bar and ordered them both a vodka rocks. the good stuff. no more tequila for either of them. when jimmy got back johnny was about half way through his first drink. jimmy caught up shortly. they ordered two more. this time doubles then carried them over to a table and ordered dinner. dinner was so so. the important thing being it wasn’t mexican food.

after dinner they sat at the bar again and had several more drinks. they kept to themselves while listening in on the sparse bar crowd conversations. there was nothing of interest there until a well dressed gentleman came into the bar a half hour or so later. he sat on a stool next to jimmy. obviously a regular when the man ordered his ‘usual’. while the bartender made the man his drink the newcomer fumbled around with a semi large wad of cash. this caught the brothers attention. as the man’s drink was delivered the man peeled off a ten spot and told the bartender to keep the change. the bartender asked.

are you playing cards tonight?

nah. the old lady is pissed. i just need to be out of the house for a while.

i hear you. i just thought with that roll and all. you know.

ha. yeah. no, i sold a car today to some wet back. it was off the books. cash on the line. very nice deal. well, at least for me. the car will probably make it through the weekend before it dies and or falls apart.

both men found that to be very funny and spent a few minutes laughing about it. johnny and jimmy had begun to exchange looks as soon as they spotted the cash. no words were spoken. the brothers were like a well oiled machine and very professional when it came to taking what they wanted from someone unsuspecting. after all, they had been doing it since they were very very young.

it looked like the newcomer was good for at least several drinks as he had a couple of 20′s out on the bar. the rest of the cash was back in his pocket. the brothers ordered another round each. when they were finished they paid their tab and went outside. the night was cool and the air smelled fresh after being inside the chinese joint for so long. both brothers filled their lungs with the cool air.

you caught this. right, jimmy? the guy came in through the back. there must be a parking lot out back.

yep. picked up on it.

let’s go check it out. we have time.

the brothers got into their stolen ride and found their way around to the parking lot behind the restaurant. it was a small lot and less than a quarter full. they pulled into a space and shut the car off. then they sat and watched things for ten minutes or so.

well, what do you think, johnny?

looks ok to me. nice and dark and no one has come or gone. no foot traffic either. let’s get out and look around.

earlier in the day the brothers had disabled the overhead light and trunk light at a gas stop. johnny popped the trunk latch as he got out of the car. he stood looking about as jimmy went to the trunk and found the tire iron. then johnny walked over to the alley and looked both ways. nothing was stirring. he heard jimmy cough then turned and followed the sound. he found him behind a large trash dumpster. the dumpster reeked but it was the best place to lie in wait for their intended victim and his ambush.

they spent around 12 minutes waiting behind the dumpster. neither saying a word. there was no vehicle traffic or foot traffic in the alley or the parking lot. suddenly there was a noise and a shaft of light. the back door to the chinese place was opening. as the back door slowly closed they could see it was the man with the cash who’d sat at the bar. both brothers were suddenly sober as the adrenaline crashed through them. the surging adrenaline was something they both had come to love. that rush before the kill.

johnny and jimmy let the man get to his car. as he fumbled for his car keys each brother thought, another stupid one. they make it so easy. jimmy was on top of the man and swinging the tire iron with all of his might before the guy realized something wasn’t right. the tire iron caught the man full on at the back of his head. it crushed bone and made a sort of mushing sound as the heavy tire iron found gray matter. jimmy clobbered the man two more times before he hit the ground. the man from the bar was dead before the second blow connected.

the brothers worked quickly and quietly as they emptied the man’s pockets. being careful to avoid the blood they pushed the man underneath his car. the lot was dark enough that no one would see the blood until morning. hopefully, no one would walk through before then. johnny and jimmy went to their stolen car got in and slowly drove out of the lot. johnny even hit his blinker as he made a right turn out onto the street. it’s the little things each brother thought.

they drove around until johnny spotted a burger stand with a drive thru. they went thru it and ordered coffees. then they pulled into the well lit parking lot to check on their new found loot. jimmy counted the cash and he told johnny it amounted to $3,765.

cool. what else we get?

car keys, a bunch of paperwork. a wallet with no cash interestingly enough and a couple of credit cards. ah, a book of matches. that’s it.

let me see the car keys.

jimmy handed johnny the keys and said.

this book of matches is for some dive called, jacks or better. it isn’t far from here. i wonder if that’s what the bartender was talking about when he asked about the card game?

could be. hey, check this out. see this key? it’s for a small gun case. i bet it’s in the guys trunk.

yeah, maybe. let’s go back and check. can’t hurt.

jimmy got out of the car and tossed the wallet sans the cards, the paperwork, and their empty coffee containers in the trash. he put the book of matches in a shirt pocket. the brothers drove back to the parking lot in silence. it was quiet. no cops. no one had found the man or seen the blood yet. johnny pulled into the alley and cut the cars headlights. he coasted up to the dead man’s car and jimmy quickly got out and had the car trunk open in a second and found the gun case. picked it up then returned to their car. he found the key for the case and opened it up as johnny was pulling back out into the street.

nice. johnny, it’s a loaded glock 9 with another full clip.

alright. very cool. clear it and check out the action.

jimmy did what his older brother told him to do and then pronounced the gun perfectly serviceable. the two drove around for a while in silence. jimmy pulled the matchbook from his pocket and asked.

are you thinking what i am?

a streetlight caught johnny’s grin and his nod yes.

yeah. ok. make a left at the next street and head back towards holt. pretty sure it’s a left at the light.

once on holt blvd it was a short ride to jacks or better. it wasn’t easy to miss. a neon sign out front featuring an ace, a king, a queen, and two one eyed jacks.

this must be it. let’s check it out first.

solid.

johnny found a spot at the curb and parked. they left the gun under the front seat for now. the brothers got out of the car and made their way to the front door.

you ready for this, bro?

always.

johnny entered first followed by his brother jimmy. the place was almost empty with just a couple of old guys well into their cups drinking alone at separate tables. there was a guy about their age behind the bar. the bar’s speakers were set at about mid range playing a gram parsons tune, the streets of baltimore. the guy behind the bar spoke.

evening gents. what can i get for you fellows?

the two brothers ambled up to the bar and sat. for some strange reason the guy behind the bar looked vaguely familiar. though neither mentioned it. two vodka rocks. good stuff.

coming up.

as the bartender began working on the drinks he tried to make small talk.

i haven’t seen you guys around before. new in town or passing through?

a little bit of both i suppose. right, jimmy?

jimmy nodded his head.

absolut ok with you?

that’ll be fine barkeep.

name’s, johnny. cypress johnny.

well, ain’t that interesting. i’m a johnny as well. this is my brother jimmy.

cypress johnny sat the drinks in front of the two brothers and said. twelve bucks.

jimmy found a ten and a five and placed them on the bar.

keep the change.

thanks.

the brothers sipped their drinks and when johnny asked about if there was a card game alarm bells went off inside cypress johnny’s head.

jmh

double down pt 3

the basura brothers became even more insane once in puberty’s death grip. the young boys doing things most other youngsters in puberty would probably never think of. probably. things like the boys parents finding clear dried stuff in odd places. when questioned about it the boys would say it was mucous or something. when in reality it was something entirely different. they’d take a swat for the mucous thing but if they told the truth. well, lets just say that wasn’t an option in their home.

johnny and jimmy cut a wide swath through the young girls in junior high school. the girls knew the brothers were up for just about anything. they had known that since the fifth grade. johnny and jimmy were up front about what they wanted. they would just ask. after awhile they didn’t even have to ask. the girls came to them. some of them. the basura brothers spent so much time having sex they began to neglect school even more than they normally did.

then one day their semi idyllic lives as sex fiends fell apart. the two brothers had been seeing two sisters. twins to be exact. they’d also been seeing numerous other girls but they got the twins pregnant. worse yet, the twins were only in the sixth grade. not a good thing to be sure even for junior high school boys. parents on both sides were livid to say the least. the girls parents demanded jail time or worse. though the trouble was everyone involved was under 14. not much the cops or the courts could do. as it turned out the girls parents sued the basuras and won. the basuras would have to pay for both girls medical bills and any other related costs. abortion wasn’t an option. not even on the table for discussion.

after the horse was already out of the barn maury began to keep closer tabs on the two brothers. beatings became more frequent. to say the least, johnny and jimmy were not happy about their current state of affairs. and lack of them as well. their mother began a relentless almost non stop verbal assault on the brothers. between mom and dad the boys were taking plenty of flak. so much so they were almost at a breaking points.

one evening after dinner the two brothers were washing dishes while their mother was giving them a particularly vicious tongue lashing. johnny had had enough. this was it. no more he thought. enough. he had been drying a large butcher knife when his synapses snapped. he swung the knife at his mother and caught her full on in the throat. she hit the floor spewing blood. her head almost decapitated lay at an odd angle. jimmy stopped washing dishes and watched as his mother began to bleed out on the floor. he didn’t say a word. neither did johnny.

maury was in the living room watching TV. he got up to go see what the strange noises were coming from the kitchen. he got as far as the door when he bellowed.

what the hell’s going on in here? i’m trying to watch the TV for christ’s sake!

johnny and jimmy looked at each and without a word jimmy grabbed another kitchen knife. then both young boys descended on their father who was so taken aback by the unfolding spectacle he was speechless and froze. soon he was just as dead as his wife. the cheap linoleum floor was awash in their parent’s blood.

still saying nothing the brothers dropped their knives then went looking for their father’s car keys. they ran from the house out to the car and drove away from the hideous death scene. they didn’t say anything about what they had just done. well, only if you don’t call laughter saying anything. they were laughing hysterically which it made it hard to drive the car. as a matter of fact, johnny and jimmy never did say anything about the killings. when asked it they would only laugh.

it took several days for the death smell to reach the neighbors. then there were the clouds of flies as well. something was up for sure. finally one of the neighbors called the cops. the boys? somehow or another they’d made it across the border unnoticed and down into mexico. south of rosarito beach they stopped. stole another car from some american surfers along with their boards and money. then, of course, johnny and jimmy killed the hapless surfers.

it took the federales several weeks to find the dead surfers. and then only after many calls to the mexican consulate in los angeles made by the worried parents of the surfers. they were days late in coming home from their surf trip. what was going on? what was going on indeed.

with a new car and money the boys bought some food, new clothing, and a few large bottles of mescal. then they found a deserted beach 20 miles or so south of rosarito. they camped out and learned how to surf on their own. getting wasted every night on the mexican booze.

it took several more weeks for the federales to figure what was going and then find the brothers. when they were found the brothers went peacefully as they were both drunk. the mexicans were dumbfounded by the fact the young boys were the murderers they were looking for. they put johnny and jimmy in jail outside of rosarito beach. they were still trying to figure out what to do with the brothers when word came down that the brothers basura were also wanted for the murder of their parents up in the states.

this changed things for the mexicans. they weren’t likely to send the boys back north to face murder charges that even at their young age might include the death penalty given the circumstances. odds were that wasn’t going to happen but no one could convince the mexicans other wise. the boys would stay in baja and face mexican murder charges for the death of the american surfers. it was indeed an odd set of circumstances but given the mexican governments total aversion to the death penalty there was noting anyone could do.

johnny and jimmy spent 25 years together in that baja jail. all things considered they were treated fairly well by their captors because they were so young and insane. the mexican government let the brothers go after the 25 years. they did it quietly. not wanting the american government to find out right away. the brothers stayed in mexico and wandered about the west coast of baja for several years. they of course committed many crimes in order to live.

at one point they began to feel some heat from the local federales who were finally beginning to put things together again. johnny and jimmy moved up the coast and into tijuana’s ‘zona roja’. they spent several months there rolling marines and naval personnel from san diego making a good amount of coin while doing so.

during one drunken whore filled night the brothers decided to rob a pawn shop the sailors and marines used when their money ran out and it was time to get back to base. of course, no cash made that a problem for the military personnel. johnny and jimmy had been inside the store on numerous occasions. they knew there was a large amount of jewelry and cash inside the pawn shop. getting to it wasn’t much of a problem. getting across the border and back into california wasn’t much of a problem after the robbery as well. a stolen gunny sergeant’s car made things even easier. killing the marine proved to be the hardest part of their evening and early morning. the drive back into their former childhood home of ontario, california was uneventful.

jmh

double down pt 2

the brothers stood sweating in the warm kitchen not saying a word. johnny was the first to move. he went into the living room and made sure the screen door was latched and the front door locked. moving through the rest of the house he went room to room closing blinds and drapes. jimmy stayed in the kitchen not moving. johnny returned to the kitchen and shoved jimmy into the living room and onto the shabby couch.

johnny, i think i’m going to be sick.

alright but not here. go into the bathroom and make it quick. we have to be quiet.

ok.

jimmy scurried off to the bathroom. he wasn’t sick but he took a long leak. flushed and came back into the living room. by then the sirens had stopped. the boys knew the police and maybe an ambulance were at the dairy. several minutes passed in silence. johnny got up and used the bathroom. when he came back a siren started up and soon faded into the distance. the boys imagined it was the ambulance taking eddie otto to the hospital.

johnny what are we gonna do? mom and dad…

shut up jimmy. we have to be real quiet. i’ll think of something. you just be quiet. ok?

yeah. ok.

no crying either.

yeah. ok. shit.

it wasn’t long after that they heard a car pull up outside the house. johnny crept to the front window, shushed jimmy, and peeked out through a small crack in the drapes. it was a police car. two cops were getting out and heading up to the house.

it’s the cops, jimmy. be real quiet.

the brothers heard one of the cops climb up on the porch and saw his shadow as he passed to the front door. the cop began knocking on the front door. between knocks johnny and jimmy heard the crunch of gravel as the other cop made his way to the back of the house. soon there was pounding on the back door as well.

johnny put his left index finger to his lips. jimmy put his right index finger to his. both boys nodded. the knocking at the front door stopped but the cop stayed where he was. a few seconds later the pounding at the back door stopped. soon after they heard the other cop walking on the gravel back towards the front yard.

back door is locked too. the garage was clear.

ok. i’ll call in and we’ll just sit tight until one of the parents gets here. they must be in the house or in the wind. i’ll get some other units to cruise the area.

sounds good. i’ll go around back again and wait there. we’ll keep both doors covered.

alright. yell if you see or hear anything.

will do.

one of the cops went out to the car and talked on the radio for a few minutes. when he was finished talking he got out of the car wiping his brow from the heat. he walked up into the yard and stood in the shade of the large walnut tree that stood in the corner of the yard. a few minutes later several other cop cars pulled up in front of the house. johnny was still at the small crack in the drapes by the front window. he could see the cops talking. the cop in the yard gestured up the street and the other cars slowly pulled away to search the surrounding area.

the two brothers were scared and exhausted and soon fell asleep. johnny on the floor by the front window and jimmy on the couch. they were both awakened by a car door slamming. johnny looked out the front window. it was their mother. she was climbing out of a cop car. the cops had gone to her work and picked her up. not good. he knew their father would be arriving home soon as well. not good.

johnny made a quick decision. not one of his best but in the grand scheme of things certainly not one of his worst. he bolted for the kitchen and the back door.

johnny where you going? johnny?

jimmy stood by the couch wiping his eyes. he was still half asleep, tired, and now bewildered. he’d almost forgotten what had been going on that day. as he stood there he heard the back door open and the voice of the cop in the backyard.

hey! stop right there!

luckily for johnny the cop had been distracted by the horse the next door neighbors kept. he was in the corner of the yard by the fence. by the time he got moving johnny was around the corner and heading down the driveway at full tilt. johnny was moving well on the gravel even in his bare feet. the cop in the back yelled to the cop in the front that one of the kids was heading his way. also that the back door was open and he was going in.

johnny was flying down the gravel drive. he blew past the cop in the front yard. his mother and another cop near her. he’d made it to the end of the drive then made a hard left into the empty lot where the neighborhood kids played baseball. his mistake was staying near the street. not much foot traffic there as everyone cut across the vacant lot. johnny had run into an area where the puncture vines held sway.

johnny had traveled maybe thirty feet from the driveway when he realized his mistake. he’d ran right into the center of a very large spreading puncture vine. he hopped to a stop. both feet filled with the nasty sharp dried needle like balls. he fell to his butt getting some stuck in his hands and ass as well. one of the cops scooped him up and carried him to the front lawn where he began to remove the stickers.

johnny’s mother was livid. she was yelling and ranting uncontrollably. one of the other cops had to restrain her in order to get her away from her son. the cop from the back yard opened the front door. he had jimmy by the hand. johnny and jimmy basura’s first crime spree was over. sadly, there would be many more to come.

the rest of the day and night was a blur for the two youngsters. their mother yelling and crying. their father yelling and threatening all manner of retribution. the cops were in and out as well. they weren’t yelling. more like mystified by the brothers savage attack on the hapless teenage dairy attendant. eddie otto would survive. the last stab to his neck just missing his jugular by mere millimeters. though there was the fact he was now sporting close to one hundred stitches covering a large portion of his body.

the stitches hurt and stung but eddie figured that at some point that would stop and the scars along with the story about how he got them would become sort of a babe magnet. eddie otto was right about that. while he was in the hospital he might also ask a doctor why he could blow cigarette smoke out of his ears. he never did. no sense ruining a good thing.

as for johnny and jimmy they were placed in custody of the court for a time. the court figuring that maybe their crazed parents had something or another to do with their going off on eddie otto. they spent a lot of time with social workers and psychologists. both trying their collective best to try and figure the two brothers out. though being in the mid 50′s it was early for both fields and nothing much was really uncovered. the boys soon learned the ropes and after a year and a half the court decided the two kids were ok enough to be sent back to their parents and their home. both parents had calmed down and had received some of the same treatment the boys had. it worked about as well on them as it did their kids.

things at the basura household actually went well for a few years. the boys and their parents getting along reasonably well. reasonably well until the two youngsters hit puberty. even though johnny and jimmy were a year apart they hit puberty at the same time with a vengeance not often seen in those calmer and saner days. johnny and jimmy basura were to become what one wag would later say, the vanguard of what was to become of american youth.

jmh

double down pt 1

johnny basura became a low life thug at a very early age. no one is sure just how or why that was only that it was. no doubt about it. not only johnny but his younger brother jimmy as well. the pair had been nothing but trouble since johnny was in the third grade and his little brother jimmy in the second. in the beginning they weren’t too bad really. just normal kids crying, laughing, and getting into the usual kid mischief. nothing very serious. then one summer day things went way south for the two brothers. and way south for the rest of the basura family as well.

the day was hot in the usual southern california summer way. almost 95 degrees by noon time. baking hot. the two basura brothers had been fooling around all morning playing baseball with some of the other neighborhood kids. the kids stopped their game for lunch. each of them went their separate ways for a sandwich or whatever. with the day promising only to get hotter the boys probably wouldn’t be playing anymore ball until the next morning or maybe after dinner that night. maybe.

johnny and jimmy ate their sandwiches in front of the old b/w TV. they watched cartoons while they ate. johnny spoke.

you want to go get a 50 – 50 bar after lunch, jimmy?

ok.

there was a dairy farm a short walk away with a drive thru area where you could buy milk, ice cream, eggs, and bread. of course, for the local neighborhood kids it was more of a walk thru as they ran their milk run errands for their families or scored ice cream for themselves. after they finished eating the boys cleaned up knowing that if they didn’t there would be trouble to pay when their parents got home from work. no sense getting chased around the house by an angry mother wielding a metal fly swatter and swinging wildly at them often making contact. all the while yelling wait until your father gets home. no, not something the two boys wanted on this hot summer day.

with the temperature now nearing 100 the two brothers gingerly walked barefoot to the dairy. almost burning their feet on the hot asphalt as they ran across the street. the dirt path on the other side was somewhat cooler and they kept their eyes peeled for puncture vines not wanting to step on any of the vicious dried spiked balls of weed with their bare feet. most of the time they were lucky but luck didn’t always hold out. today it did. at least in that regard.

johnny and jimmy always carried a knife. their father mauricio, or maury as family or friends called him, had given each of the boys a small pocket knife as soon they were both walking fairly well. their father thought kids should have some sort of protection as he put it and a knife could be a useful tool as well. most of the time the brothers used their knives for the random whittling of fallen tree branches or other errant pieces of wood. sure the boys often cut themselves but maury said that was just part of being a boy and growing up today. well, this day was about to become something entirely different.

as the brothers walked along the dirt path they raised little clouds of dust with each step. they spoke quietly about nothing until johnny put his hand out to stop his little brother. they stopped mid stride in the hot afternoon sun. little jimmy just stood there silently looking at his older brother and wondering what was up. there were no puncture vines close by and as far as he could tell no stray dogs about either. what was up?

jimmy, let’s rob the dairy.

what? are you kidding?

no. let’s do it.

why?

why not? it might be fun. we both have knives. we’ll each order a 50 – 50 bar and when eddie is digging them out of the freezer we’ll pull our knives and tell him it’s a stick up.

are you serious? we could get into big trouble. and mom and dad…

forget that stuff, ok? i’m going to do this whether you go along or not. and you’d better or i’ll kick your ass worse than mom or dad ever did.
understand?

ok. since you put it that way. i’m in. you know sometimes i don’t like you much, johnny.

yeah, i don’t like you much either. just shut up and follow my lead.

yeah yeah, sure.

the brothers continued their walk in the sun towards their destiny. when they reached the corner and the shade of several eucalyptus trees jimmy stopped and spoke.

johnny? i’m scared.

me too. but this will be fun. trust me.

ok. sure. shit.

rounding the corner they could see the dairy’s drive thru. there were no cars and eddie otto, the teenage attendant, was sitting in the shade smoking
a cigarette. he was always smoking or so it seemed. eddie favored lucky strikes and would smoke them down to nubs. then he’d put on a show for the local kids with the short cigarette butts. he’d put the butt in his mouth. close it then make smoke come out of his nose. open his mouth and roll the still lit smoke around on his tongue. flipping it over a couple of times. close his mouth again and then make smoke come out of his ears. it was truly an amazing sight. even for eddie otto. he had no idea why he was able to get the smoke to come out of his ears. though he really didn’t care because it looked very cool. regardless. and eddie otto was very cool.

eddie saw the two brothers approaching and waved to them. he drew deeply on his smoke several times in order to get it to the proper length for his little kid show. teenage boys and boredom. both of which were in for a shock that sweltering summer day. as johnny and jimmy neared the driveway they saw eddie hold up the cigarette butt and put it in his mouth. by the time they got to the cash register eddie was almost finished with his act. smoke was coming out of his ears when johnny spoke.

hi, eddie. we want two 50 – 50 bars. raspberry and an orange.

eddie spit out the butt and said.

sure. a dime each.

he turned around to reach into the freezer for the ice cream bars. when he turned back around holding the bars he spotted the two knives.

what? hey?

shut up, eddie. this is a stick up. give us all of the cash in the drawer. we’re serious.

what? don’t make me laugh. put those away before you guys get hurt or i’ll call the cops. understand boys?

shut up, eddie. give us the money.

eddie just glared at the two boys then said.

fuck this. i’m calling the cops.

eddie turned towards the telephone on the desk and began dialing the local cops.

johnny was first but jimmy was a very close second. both of the boys dove onto eddie otto and began to stab him repeatedly with their small pocket knives. eddie did his best to cover himself while trying to stop the two now frenzied brothers. he wasn’t very successful at either. johnny had the register open and grabbed the cash as jimmy kept on stabbing eddie. johnny stuffed the cash into a front pocket of his shorts. he lunged towards eddie for one more stab and caught the teenager in the throat with his small knife.

let’s go, jimmy!

the two brothers ran away heading towards home. they left eddie otto sitting on the ground, leaning against the desk, phone in his hand, and bleeding very badly. the two ice cream bars lay melting on the ground in hot sun.

as the two brothers ran home they barely felt the hot dirt and asphalt under their feet. it was as if something was lifting them as they ran. their feet hardly touching the ground. or so it seemed. they ran home and up the gravel driveway to the backdoor. both boys hit the door at the same time. once inside they slammed it shut and tried to catch their breaths. in the distance they heard sirens.

jmh

here comes the night

it showed up about the same time every day in the late afternoon. you could almost set your watch by it. other than the fact it was the same time every day there was an accompanying palatable change in the air. you could feel it. if you were outside you would stop and look for it. yes, there it is. way off in the distance. heading your way. depending on what the rest of your day was going to bring it might put a smile on your face. today a smile if only in your minds memory. you could smell it now. soon you would hear it. if it looked to be a particularly good day you might seek higher ground in order to watch it creep slowly towards you. perhaps shouting to friends. hey, check it out. here it comes. look at it. you gotta see this. sitting high up as it grows closer the solid massive wall of grey fills your vision from the earth to the sky. thundering closer. yeah, this is a really good one. soon the oppressive heat will be gone and if you were lucky it would last well into the night. pounding the tin roof. forming rushing rivers in the beach sand within minutes. great cracks of light add to the cacophony of sound. if it lasts, tonight will be safe. no sane person moving in this wall of water and sound. monsoon season. south vietnam. a long lifetime ago but still only yesterday.

jmh

wire to wire ~the back story~

many years ago back in 1967 i became involved in a ‘bootleg’, or in other words an illegal over the air, radio station. it was started up by some friends, all of them kids, who’s hobby it was starting up bootleg radio stations in ontario, california. all of the stations eventually were discovered, one way or the other, by the FCC and shut down. a sad thing to be sure since no one was hurting anyone or broadcasting anything remotely obscene or subversive for that matter. none the less, a federal offense and a big no no. though none of us did any jail time, thankfully, and fines weren’t levied as well. all in all, the FM bootleg station i was involved with was run like any legal or professional radio station. we made sure of that. we followed all the rules any normal radio station did at the time.

they were fun times and i must say some of the more enjoyable times of my misspent youth. though i wouldn’t call my time with the bootleg station misspent by any means.

for whatever reason a few of us involved with the radio station decided to make a movie over christmas vacation. we came up with a script and a sorta plot. if i recall it was a single piece of paper with the idea for the movie along with an outline of the plot on it. the movie was to be titled, ‘the bum’. we filmed the movie in black and white on regular 8mm film. it was great fun and filled up a few days over vacation. the hardest part was editing the film and it also took the longest to complete. all of the people in the film were involved with the radio station in one way or another. there were six of us in the film. though there were more folks working at the radio station.

when the film was completed i took it to a film class i was taking at a local junior college. the instructor liked the film but said it lacked exposition. the film ran approximately a bit over 5 minutes. not much time for any exposition mostly due to the fact the movie was silent. though when i showed it the film class i used bob dylan’s, ‘the gates of eden’, as the soundtrack.

at any rate, the film had a number of semi showings because a friend and i who were in the film were also 2 of 4 partners in a light show company. we used the film as part of the show along with a bunch of other stuff. we made some very good money for the time and got to work with the sir douglas quintet, lee michaels, led zeppelin, and any number of local bands. the partnership folded after a very successful run due to internal bickering and youthful insanity.

when the light show company fell apart the movie disappeared. it did show up once at a dance or ‘happening’ in the very early 70′s only to disappear again. this time for good. i ‘ve always thought the story was a good one. a simple morality tale on one level and a decent crime story on an other.

when i started to write, ‘wire to wire’, it occurred to me to turn it into a remake of ‘the bum’ and give it the exposition the movie lacked. i hope i’ve done that. ‘wire to wire’ covers what happened in the movie. baldo meets jenny. she takes him to a dice game. baldo steals the money, runs, and loses it. the bum finds the money and it changes his life around. the bum meets jenny and she takes him to a dice game. the bum learns the game is crooked. the bum gets stabbed to death. i played the part of the bum in the movie. bruce day was also my radio name when i was in that business long ago. all the other names used in ‘wire to wire’ bear no intentional resemblance to anyone living or dead. thanks for reading ‘wire to wire’ and if you know what happened to the movie, ‘the bum’, i’d love to hear from you. yeah, i know, like that’s going to happen.

jmh

wire to wire pt 5

the ex bum watched as jenny’s car crossed euclid made a left then headed north. soon it was out of sight. he just stood there staring and not moving. once he came out of his reverie he decided he was indeed a very lucky man. he’d found 8 grand in cash, met a gorgeous lady, a gorgeous lady who apparently liked older guys, and the same gorgeous young lady had just asked him out to dinner. a prime rib dinner to boot. lady luck was smiling from ear to ear. or so it seemed.

bruce day went back up to his room and showered again. shaved as well. no sense leaving any thing to chance he thought. then he set about getting dressed in his finest new clothes. a fairly nice cheap suit, a pale blue dress shirt, a red and dark blue stripped tie, socks, and new black dress shoes. when he was finished dressing he figured he looked ok. he could probably get away with the same outfit when he started to look for radio work again. day for got or neglected to buy a wristwatch. he had no idea how long he’d taken getting ready. bruce turned on the tv and tuned it to cnn. he still had twenty minutes or so. the bum sat and watched the news while hardly paying any attention to it. his thoughts were on his date with his new friend, jenny rider.

a few minutes before jenny was due to pick him up he made his way outside and stood in the late afternoon shade while he waited. the san gabriel mountains were clear and turning a nice pale purple in the setting sun. not long after his arrival jenny’s car pulled to the curb. bruce day was thinking this was very nice as he heard the passenger side door unlock.

jenny rider looked even more stunning than he remembered. her perfume was intoxicating. he realized he hadn’t been with a woman who smelled so nice in a long long time. let alone a woman who looked as good as she did. day hoped he wouldn’t make an ass of himself. jenny flashed him a big smile and said.

‘hi, bruce, you look nice. i hope you’re hungry.’

‘thanks, jenny you look great. that perfume is amazing. hungry? you bet. i haven’t had prime rib in ages.’

‘good, we’re going to the sycamore inn up in cucamonga. have you heard of it?’

‘sure who hasn’t? it’s been a number of years since i’ve been there though. i’m really looking forward to it.’

jenny smiled again as bruce got in the car then pulled away from the curb. the stereo system was quietly playing an old gram parsons cd. ‘a song for you’ and jenny’s perfume filled his senses. they made small talk and bruce was happy he was able to keep up the conversation without letting on he’d spent the last several years out on the street drunk 24-7.

‘you know it’s interesting that a young lady like yourself would be listening to an old gram parsons cd.’

‘probably. i was exposed to him at a very early age by my mother. she was a huge gram and emmylou fan. i imagine it’s the first music i ever heard. either in the womb or out of it.’

‘very cool. i’m a big fan myself. too bad things ended up the way they did for him.’

as bruce was speaking they were entering the sycamore inn parking lot. he thought the place looked the same. the only difference, of course, being the sycamore trees that were nestled about were even larger than he remembered.

‘when i was a kid there was a sycamore tree growing up through the floor in the east end of the dinning room. is it still there?’

‘really? i didn’t know that. and no. i’ve been coming here for a long time and i’ve never seen it. the east end is now sorta like a party room.’

‘oh. ok.’

bruce day quickly got out of the car and went over to the drivers side in order to help jenny from the lexus.

‘my, such a gentleman’. jenny smiled.

she took bruce’s hand as they walked up the stairs to the front door. day’s heart skipped a beat or two then settled down. yeah, settle down he thought, this could be a long evening. don’t blow it. their table wasn’t quite ready so jenny suggested they sit at the bar and order a drink. bruce day hadn’t considered this option. he’d been doing ok with not drinking for the past couple of days but no telling what the hell would happen if he started to drink again so soon after stopping. though they would be eating soon. so why not? magic seemed to be in the air.

jenny ordered a margarita. bruce was still thinking when the bartender asked him what he wanted. it took a couple of tries by the barkeep to get bruce’s attention. he finally ordered a vodka martini straight up with olives. may as well dive right in were his thoughts. they sat at the bar sipping their drinks and chatting. several minutes later they were told their table was ready. taking their drinks with them they went into the dinning room and dinner.

their dinner was spectacular. just as good as bruce day remembered from back in the day. probably some of the best prime rib to be found for miles. nothing like it. after their drinks were finished jenny ordered a bottle of red wine. then another. after dessert she suggested an after dinner drink in the bar. bruce said sure why not? sipping their drinks at the bar bruce asked jenny what she did for a living. the subject hadn’t come up before.

‘i’m a consultant. i…help folks with their business. you know like steer customers to people that may help. i more or less freelance my services which keeps me free to do what i want when i want. though there is a local business…i…do a number of things for.’

‘sounds interesting. it must keep you busy.’

‘it keeps me on my toes that’s for sure.’

‘um, i was just wondering…ok…i’ve been wondering why you asked me out? i mean…’

‘ah, sure. you were such a gentleman when you were helping me out today and you’re cute. i just wanted to get to know you. i’m glad i did.’

‘me too.’

several minutes passed before either of them spoke again. jenny broke the silence.

‘do you like to gamble, bruce?’

‘um, yeah, sometimes. i’m not much of a gambler really. why do you ask?’

‘oh, well, i know of a party tonight where they’ll probably be a dice game going down. just a few people. would you care to join me?’

it was probably the last thing he wanted to do. especially after drinking what he already had consumed. things could get crazy if he didn’t watch himself. probably crazy enough to blow whatever chance he had with jenny. plus, blow his new found fortune. he was carrying it. no way he would leave it in his motel room. at any rate, alcohol and gambling. not a pair to draw to for bruce day.

‘ok. sure why not? i seem to be saying that a lot tonight. i’m afraid if it involves you jenny i’d be down for just about anything.’

jenny gave him her radiant smile and put her hand under the bar and on his thigh.

‘how sweet of you. finish your drink and let’s go.’

she left her hand there until bruce got off his bar stool. he waited for her and they walked arm in arm out of the restaurant. when they got to jenny’s car bruce was there to open the door for her. he asked.

‘are you sure you’re ok to drive?’

smiling she pushed bruce up against the car then kissed him. they stood there kissing and groping each for what seemed like to bruce a good ten minutes. he was ready for a room or the backseat when jenny broke it off.

‘oh boy. that was hot. ummm. just something to look forward to later. ok?’

bruce caught his breath and said.

‘ah, yeah. sure why not?’

‘good. let’s go to the party.’

jenny drove carefully to the same house on ‘h’ st. the same spot she always took her prospects to. eddie and danny layne’s home. her main and only clients in her ‘consulting business’. once she had the car parked a few doors away she kissed bruce again and let him feel her up a bit.

‘easy there. nice thing about this is it isn’t far from your room. we’ll hang out. play some craps. then go up to your room. ok?’

‘um, yeah, ok, i mean…er…sure why not?’

there it was again. bruce day was pretty well in his cups as it were. feeling no pain. he’d probably say or do anything to get jenny alone in his room or any room or the backseat or out on the road as the beatles once sang. he didn’t care. he was more than ready for ms jenny rider.

the street was it’s usual dark. no lights coming from the front of the layne’s house. they walked to the front door arm in arm. bruce day still trying to feel jenny up. she was giggling and making no real effort to stop him. they got up the porch steps in one piece and jenny rang the bell. a short wait and the door opened. it was danny layne.

‘hey jenny. good to see you, girl.’

‘hi, danny. this is bruce. ok?’

‘sure, you know that. come on in, bruce. nice to meet you.’

once inside the two men shook hands. danny led them to the back room where the ‘party’ was happening. there he introduced bruce to his brother and a couple of other guys who were shooting dice. an army blanket was on the floor and a decent amount of cash was on the blanket. jenny went off to make some drinks and a tipsy bruce tied to pull a couple of hundred dollars from his pocket without showing everyone in the room his wad of cash. he almost succeeded in pulling it off. almost. only eddie and danny saw the large roll. they gave each other a look that bruce and the other guys totally missed.

jenny brought in the drinks for her and bruce. it was a vodka rocks. he killed his drink with one swallow and handed his glass back to jenny. apparently his sign he was ready for another. jenny flashed the brothers layne a look then left to make the drink. bruce had his cash out and placed a hundred down saying he didn’t think that one of the other guys would make his point. the man didn’t.

things went semi sorta ok for bruce as the evening wore on. he was drinking and becoming more animated. the other two fellows got tired of losing and left. bruce was ready to leave as well but eddie suggested they double their bets for say like the three of them getting one chance each to hold the dice. jenny wan’t playing. bruce hadn’t noticed.

what he did he notice was danny palming a pair of dice. though it didn’t register until he saw him do it again after bruce had lost a grand on one pass.

‘hey. hold on there, pilgrim. i saw that. you palmed some dice. something ain’t right here. let me see those dice.’

‘what are you talking about, man. i’m not palming any dice. look. see?’

danny opened his hand and it was empty. that didn’t stop bruce day.

‘look. i know what i saw. you palmed some dice. i’m thinking the dice are loaded or at least one set is. i may be pretty loaded myself but i know a fixed dice game when i see one.’

‘hey, man. chill out.’ it was eddie. ‘there are no loaded dice and i think you’d better apologize to my brother.’

‘piss off douche. you guys are crooks and i’m outta here. you coming jenny?’

jenny just stood there with an odd look on her face. saying nothing.

‘you coming jenny?’

still nothing. though now she was looking back and forth between the brothers.

‘oh shit. now i get it. this whole thing has been a set up. a den of thieves here. i’m gone and i’m calling the cops. screw this shit.’

bruce day was making his way to the door, his back to the brothers, when he heard the snick of two blades opening. he felt one of the blades enter his right lung. deflating it. the next stab was expertly inserted into his heart as he fell to the floor. the blade then twisted and buried deeper. bruce day was dead several seconds after he hit the floor. hands went into his pockets removing all of his cash. danny and eddie removed their knives then wiped them clean on bruce’s new suit as they rolled him up in the army blanket. the two brothers carried the bum in the blanket to a bathroom and put him in the tub. one of the brothers spoke.

‘we’ll take out the trash a bit later, bro. i need a drink. but first…ms jenny…what the fuck? where’d you find this guy?’

the end

jmh

copyright 2012 by john hauge

wire to wire pt 4

the bum, a once semi noted disc jockey by the name of bruce day, sat in the garage and just stared at the found money. over 8 grand he kept thinking. 8 grand in cash in small bills. an amazing sum of cash. even back when he was semi sober and still working he’d never seen that much cash in one place or at a time. vegas not counting. in his hungover state the sum was staggering.

he was more or less dumbfounded and unable to move. though the 7-11 up on ‘g’ st was calling to him. the jug wines seemed like sirens on some long ago greek shore beckoning him to come to them. he could see them. the jugs that is. why, he could buy them all if he wanted and just get totally pissed for days. sure why not? the poor man was in no shape for this. fortunately for him he fell asleep and stayed that way for the next 16 hours.

when the bum awoke he was sore and and his muscles ached from sleeping on the cold hard concrete. his bones felt as brittle as hard candy. he wasn’t even sure if he could stand. when he finally got to his feet he knew what he must do. he’d take the cash and get his life turned around for good. maybe even get back into radio. sure why not? everyone had probably forgotten his drunken on air tirade about crappy music and top 40 radio that had started the slippery slide to his hell on earth. drunken days and nights blurring into one. the mad free fall from respectability to the ignominy of a drunken bum on the streets of ontario. roaring madness screaming like banshees in the night.

but first he needed to clean up. or maybe more importantly he needed to make sure none of his drunken homeless buddies knew of his new found cash. if any of them found out he knew he’d probably not live through the day. his next few days needed to be carefully thought out until he was clean and sober enough to pass through town unnoticed by his street brethren. a decent lot but when a large amount of cash was involved or even a small amount it became a dog eat dog existence. every drunken crazy for himself. yeah, he’d try and help them but he needed to help himself first.

he waited in the garage until night fell. careful not to make any noise he left the garage and headed out of the alley. when he reached fern he noticed the house on the corner and it’s open backdoor. there were no lights on inside the home. the bum knew the home belonged to baldo somebody or another. a vaguely nice guy who on occasion had given him cigarettes and money. yeah, a nice guy. the bum wondered what was up. he moved closer to the home and decided he’d just go in. for sure something was up but the open backdoor was calling to him.

his mind made up he went inside the house and closed the door. he left the lights off and wandered through the house calling baldo’s name. of course, there was no answer. baldo was long gone. his bus ride to barstow then hopping hopping a train to points unknown. yeah, baldo was in the wind. only just beginning his long slide into the depths.

satisfied the house was empty the bum locked the backdoor but kept the lights off. he fumbled through the refrigerator and found some food to eat. thankfully, for some reason, he wasn’t thinking about getting drunk. no drinking. he needed to turn himself around. after he finished eating he figured he may as well stay the night. if baldo turned up he could probably talk his way out of jail. after all it was he who found the open backdoor. closed it then locked it. what’s a little food amount to when performing a good deed? bruce day former disk jockey ever the good samaritan.

having had enough to eat the bum retired to the living room and fell asleep on the couch. he slept through the night and when he awoke in the morning he was startled by his surroundings until he remembered what had happened the day before. he was actually feeling pretty good. he’d forage around for more food then perhaps he’d further impose upon baldo’s absent hospitality by cleaning up.

the bum made himself a spectacular breakfast of eggs, sausages, hash browns, biscuits with butter and honey. coffee too. he was amazed he could still remember how to cook. after his meal he fought off the urge to go back to sleep. instead he found the bathroom where he stayed in the shower washing his dirty body and shaving until he ran out of hot water. after his shower he looked through baldo’s clothes. he figured they were pretty close to the same size. he tried on a shirt and it fit. next came under ware and a pair of faded green khakis. some sneakers and an old dodger cap. no sense taking anything newer. he would buy better stuff later.

as he looked at himself in the bedroom mirror the bum thought he could almost see the old bruce day begin to emerge. it put a smile on the bum’s face. at any rate, he didn’t look anything like the bum anymore. he looked pretty like a much normal joe. not wanting to over stay his welcome he figured it was time to leave. plus, none of his old homeless cronies would recognize him now.

the bum locked up and left. as he was walking away from the house an old green gmc jimmy pulled up to the curb. two men were inside. one of them called to him.

‘hey. you must know baldo. do you know where he is?’

‘nope. i haven’t seen him in a few days. i figure he took off with one of his friends. i’ve been busy working. just got home myself.’

both guys were barely paying any attention to him. they were more intent on staring at the house. fine by the bum. he just wanted out of there. the two men slowly pulled away and left the bum alone. he walked to a mexican joint and bought an early dinner. after eating he went to a drug store and bought soap, shampoo, deodorant, a razor and shaving foam. then he went straight to the motel on the corner of ‘h’ and euclid. he rented a room and fell asleep soon after.

in the morning he cleaned up again before going out. he wanted breakfast and he needed some new clothes. breakfast was easy and quick. then it was off to find some new clothes. downtown ontario wasn’t anywhere near what it used to be so finding some especially nice clothing wasn’t that easy. afterwards, he dropped by the local salvation army office and gave them a several hundred dollars. they were more than willing to get the cash and very happy about it as well. it made the bum feel good too. day would give them more after he found a job.

he went back to his room showered again then put on some of the new clothes he’d just purchased. he wanted to go out and walk around in the new stuff. he didn’t know why but it’s what he wanted to do. maybe just to feel normal. while he was out and about trying to be normal once again the bum spotted a very gorgeous young lady walking out of a bakery trying to carry a number of large boxes full of pastries. ever the gentleman the bum rushed up to her and offered to help.

‘why sure. thank you. that’s very kind of you.’

‘not a problem miss.’

after all the boxes were in the car the bum introduced himself.

‘ah, my name is bruce. bruce day.’

‘nice to meet you, bruce. i’m jenny. jenny rider.’

‘nice to meet you too, jenny. um, i guess i’ll be on my way. maybe i’ll see you around.’

‘yes, maybe. have a great day. and thanks again.’

not thinking anymore about it the bum or bruce went back to his room and a nap. when he woke up he went outside to get some fresh air. as he stood outside on the sidewalk a car pulled up to the curb. it was a lexus a few years old though clean and shinny. day thought he recognized the car. the tinted passenger side window came down.

‘hi, bruce. how are you?’

‘jenny? oh, hi. i’m doing ok. just getting some air.’

‘i was driving by heading home and i saw you standing there and…um…i usually don’t do this…but i was wondering if you’d like to take me out to dinner later? i know it’s not…ah…you were so kind to help out me earlier.’

it startled him some but bruce day handled it well. plus jenny’s radiant smile had him hooked.

‘well, i don’t see why not. i don’t have anything else going on tonight. why sure, i’d be honored.’

‘cool. ah, are you staying here?’

‘yeah. i’m just sorta passing through.’

‘alright. i’ll pick you up right here in two hours. i know a great place for prime rib.’

bruce said fine and jenny smiled again then waved while pulling away into traffic. damn, the ex bum thought, things were really beginning to look up.

jmh

wire to wire pt 3

it was just beginning to turn light out when baldo bustamonte groaned and woke up on the couch. his fingers hurt from gripping the cash since he’d fallen asleep. he let the wad slide from his fingers to the floor as he opened and closed both hands several times in an effort to get the blood flowing again. baldo was also thirsty his throat very dry. he groaned again as he lifted himself off of the couch. the money stayed in a pile on the floor as he walked over it.

in the kitchen he drank a glass of water at the sink then made a pot of coffee. while the coffee brewed he rummaged around in the kitchen drawers for a rubber band. finding one he went back into the living room and picked up the cash. deciding then to count it. the smell of the fresh coffee lured him back into the kitchen. baldo sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and counting the cash in the early morning light. $8,266 was the grand total. he rolled the cash into a wad and placed the rubber band around it. satisfied it was secure he put the cash in a silverware drawer then went to take a shower.

several blocks away eddie layne was already working the phone. the calls weren’t making many folks happy that early sunday morning but once the problem was explained he had everyone’s sympathy and the early hour was quietly forgotten. eddie wasn’t making much headway though a few of his friends said they would call around as well since the baldo guy sounded some what familiar to them. they would get back to eddie as soon as they had something. eddie began to think maybe he should have started calling last night. sighing, he figured what was done was done. drumming his fingers on the kitchen table he lit a smoke and waited for the phone to ring.

the shower invigorated baldo as it washed away the sleep and last nights dread. after drying himself off he shaved then put on clean clothes. back in the kitchen he drank more coffee while wondering what he should do. stealing the money seemed like a good idea at the time last night but now in the light of the new day he wasn’t so sure. after all, eddie and danny layne lived in the same town as he. ontario wasn’t los angeles. more than likely very soon their paths would cross. yes, they had never met before but the theft of the crooked dice game money was another issue all together. baldo was sure the layne brothers would not let the theft drift off to be forgotten. then there was the jenny rider issue. she sure had taken him for a ride. christ. he was getting old.

one option was to call the cops and tell them the story. the problem with that was he’d probably never see any of his money again. for sure the cops would impound it as evidence and some judge just might decide the state should get the illegal gambling money. even if some of it had been acquired legally betting the horses. baldo was thinking he’d call a lawyer friend of his a bit later and run the deal by him. just to see what other options there might be. bustamonte finished off the pot of coffee while he made scrambled eggs and toast with apricot jelly. he decided to call his lawyer friend after he ate breakfast..

eddie layne was on his fourth cigarette and second pot of coffee when his brother walked into the kitchen. danny was sporting a small gauze patch on left side of his forehead.

‘how are you doing?’

‘ok. it finally stopped bleeding a couple of hours ago. i was beginning to think i was gonna need stitches. anymore coffee left? where’s jenny?’

‘yes and still asleep. i’ve already been making some calls. waiting now for something to come back to us. it will. just depends on how long it takes.’

‘yeah, no point going looking for his car. it’s probably in the garage or maybe he skipped town last night. hard to say.’

‘if he did skip he’ll have to come back sooner or later. we’ll have his place by then. he’ll be ours when he does come back.’

‘that’s right. eight grand or so isn’t enough to start all over. not at his age. he probably owns his house as well. if he’s gone he’ll be back.’

‘yep. i’m going to make a fried ham and egg sandwich. you want one?’

‘sure. i’ll get the bread ready.’

as the two brothers were finishing their breakfast the phone rang. eddie layne smiled as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

‘bingo. he’s ours.’

eddie picked up the phone and listened. he hung up after saying thank you.

‘he lives in that old two story house on the northwest corner of ‘d’ and fern. let’s roll.’

‘we’ll have to be careful. it’s sunday and they’ll be plenty of people at the church across the street.’

eddie layne smiled and said. ‘the organ music and singing will drown out anything mr. bustamonte has to say.’

danny laughed as he grabbed the cars keys and the two brothers left the house on their mission to recover their lost money.

baldo was still sitting at his kitchen table when something made him get up and go to the living room and look through the curtains and out to the street. a late model chevy or gmc truck had just pulled to the curb across the street. there were two men inside the vehicle. no mistake about it. the two men were eddie and danny layne. that was fast thought baldo as his mind raced to think of what he was going to do now. run was the only thing he could come up with. staying and shooting it out with the layne brothers probably wasn’t a good idea. nor was calling the cops.

they were still in the truck. probably figuring out their next move. baldo was glad they hadn’t planned it out already. it gave him a head start. he ran to the kitchen and pulled the wad of money from the drawer. he knew he didn’t have time to get his car so he just ran out the back door. he wasn’t very quiet about it. baldo just kept running. he ran through the backyard and left into the alley behind the house. for an older guy he was moving pretty good down the alley. as he was running he turned back to see if they were on to him yet. a bad move. baldo crashed into several trash cans. fell and lost the wad of cash in the pile up. he scrambled about a bit but couldn’t find the money. cursing himself he got up and kept on moving.

the layne brothers heard the backdoor slam. they knew baldo was on the move. instead of staying in the truck and using it to chase him they got out and started to run around the house. by the time they were in the front yard they heard the crash in the alley. hustling they hurried on towards the noise.

in an abandoned garage a bum or homeless guy had been sleeping off a cheap drunk. he was awakened by the crashing trash cans. it took him a bit but he found his bottle and stumbled outside about the time the layne brothers were running by. they literally ran into him. then shoved him into the trash cans. by this time they saw that baldo was gone from the alley. realizing their mistake the brothers turned and ran back to their car.

the bum laid there on the glass from his broken wine jug among the trash cans. amongst other assorted trash as well. he was somewhat dazed and confused. but that generally seemed to be the case with him. once he got his hungover thoughts together he tried to get up. it took a couple of tries and in doing so he cut himself on the broken wine bottle. when he finally stood up he noticed one hand was bleeding and the other was holding a large wad of cash wrapped with a rubber band.

by the time the brothers made it back to their truck and got it turned around in the sunday morning church traffic. then headed in the right direction it became painfully apparent baldo bustamonte was in the wind. cursing their stupidity they cruised slowly around the neighborhood. for some reason they choose to search to the north first. if they had gone south they might have found him. for that was the direction baldo had run. he was still running hard with no intention of slowing down. then he saw it.

the greyhound bus station. baldo knew he had a couple of hundred dollars in his wallet. he always carried the cash. you just never knew was what he said. he hustled into the bus station and was lucky enough to catch the bus that was just leaving bound for barstow. as he boarded the bus he thought tomorrow was another day. today was for getting the hell out of dodge in one piece.

the layne brothers cruised around the neighborhood for another half hour or so before giving up and heading home. they saw the bus depot but never put it together.

the bum? he’d gone back into his abandoned garage to count his new found fortune. he’d been counting for awhile when he realized that maybe this was someones idea to get him to straighten out his life. he’d consider it after he finished counting the cash. yeah, maybe if another jug of wine didn’t call to him in the meantime.

jmh

wire to wire pt 2

as they were pulling out of the racetrack parking lot baldo bustamonte thought it would be a good idea if he asked jenny where they were going for dinner.

‘we’ve been all over the place talking about this and that i, ah, forgot to ask where we’re going to eat.’

‘make a right on foothill, old route 66, and head towards glendora. we’re going to the golden spur.’

‘ok. yeah, i’ve always wanted to go there. i hear the rack of lamb is outstanding.’

‘i’m surprised you’ve never done it. it’s not that far from the track. and the lamb is to die for.’

‘yeah, well you know. been by it any number of times. you want to know something else?’

‘what?’

‘i don’t know where you live. though i guess after dinner we could just drive around until you tell me.’

‘hahaha. that’s funny. and you’re right. i live in ontario. by the high school.’

‘no kidding? me too. i live downtown near the catholic church.’

it was odd that the two hadn’t spoken of where they lived until now but in the grand scheme of things the night was only going to get even more odd at best. dinner at the golden spur turned out to be as advertised. an outstanding rack of lamb cooked to perfection. baldo was impressed. the restaurant was someplace he’d be coming back to again. the dinner was leisurely and the talk still lively.

‘hey, look ms. jenny. before i drink anymore wine i think it’s about time i got you home. ok?’

‘sure. ok.’

the pair made their way out to baldo’s car and as they approached it jenny rider fell into baldo’s arms. they kissed deeply. when the embrace broke jenny smiled and spoke first.

‘you know baldo. i generally don’t do that with men i just met. especially men who could be considered father figures.’

‘thanks for putting that in such a nice way. let’s get out of here before i get some other ideas.’

the drive back to ontario was almost silent. the two content to just sit and be with one another. especially in bustamonte’s case. when they reached upland baldo made a right on euclid ave and headed south to ontario. jenny spoke.

‘i’m not ready to go home. i know of a dice game going down tonight. it might be fun. you interested?’

baldo thought to himself he was more interested in something else but said.

‘ok. sure why not? it might be fun. maybe i can parlay some of my horse money into a bigger bankroll. where is it?’

‘that’s the spirit, baldo. it’s at this guy’s house on ‘h’ st west of the iron skillet. north side. i know where it is.’

this really wasn’t something baldo wanted to do but he was going along with it if only for the fact he could spend some more time with jenny. even if it involved being around other people. he was thinking more along the lines of just the two of them in a more intimate setting. a dice game with strangers was far from his thoughts.

the night was dark and once they turned west on ‘h’ st it became even darker. the stately trees lining the street made it hard for the sparse street light to penetrate their foliage. what did manage to make it to the street could barely be called light.

‘ok. we’re almost there. two more houses. park anywhere.’

‘sure.’ was all bustamonte said. he was thinking other thoughts but didn’t want to say anything to jenny about them. he was afraid if he did his new found friend and the prospect of later fun would probably evaporate very quickly. thoughts like, who are these people? how did jenny know them and their game? were just a couple of the thoughts. as he parked his car jenny cuddled up close to him and lightly kissed him on the cheek.

‘this will be fun. i love a good craps game.’

‘ah, yeah. me too. let’s get going.’

once again baldo’s thoughts were on other things. he wanted only for the game to be over so he could possibly take on another situation with jenny rider. the two walked quietly hand in hand up to the home’s front porch. there were no lights on other than some at the back of the house. they cast stark shadows along the empty driveway. jenny rang the bell and after a few moments a very tall gentleman answered the ring.

‘jenny. nice to see you.’

‘hi, eddie. we’re here for the game. this is baldo. i hope you don’t mind.’

‘mind? nah, jenny. any friend of yours is ok by me. come on in. the game is in the back room.’

once inside the house jenny made the more formal introductions. eddie layne was the guy’s name. he and his brother danny owned the house and were running the game. it was something they did a few times a month for some fun and if they were lucky a little cash. or that was the story. baldo was thinking things didn’t look really kosher but his friend inside his pants was, at that point of the evening, doing most of his thinking for him. never a good thing to be sure.

there were a couple of other people in the back room when they entered. along with a good amount of cash on the floor. an old army blanket was in place as well and it was being used as the dice table as is were. there were three other men in the room.

‘it’s not vegas. but it works. hi, jenny.’

the man stuck his hand out towards baldo and said.

‘i’m danny. eddie’s brother.’

more introductions were made and baldo started to feel a little better about being there. he still wished he was somewhere else but decided to make the best of it. jenny went off to make them some drinks and the men resumed their game. the two other men had obviously been playing awhile and were not doing well. most of the money on the floor was theirs. which now belonged to the two brothers. when jenny came back with their drinks baldo had a very strange feeling once again but let it slide.

the two men continued to lose more money while bustamonte’s cash went up and down. mostly down. when he’d entered the game he had around $4,000 dollars. after a couple of drinks he was down to a bit under $2,000. this wasn’t working out like he had hoped. as for the other two men they got tired of losing and said good night. while eddie showed the two men to the door baldo stared at the money on the army blanket. there had to be a good 6 or 7 thousand dollars there. maybe even more.

he sighed and wished he was still a cigarette smoker. as he looked up he noticed a reflection in a picture on the wall. the reflection clearly showed eddie and jenny in the hallway locked in an embrace with eddie’s hand up jenny’s dress and hers on eddie’s crotch. what the hell? by this time baldo was fairly drunk but it didn’t take him long to figure out the score. he was being taken for a ride by miss jenny and her two friends. and he was fairly certain that the dice were loaded and the game was totally rigged in their favor. how had he gotten himself into this situation? yeah, right. his little friend.

jenny and eddie came back into the room and the dice game began again. as baldo lost a few more hundred dollars he began to get antsy. he wasn’t sure what he was going to do but he needed to do something. at that point jenny left to make more drinks and eddie went to the can. that left baldo and danny alone in the room together. time for his move. it was now or never thought baldo. sure, he wasn’t thinking very straight but that’s one thought that didn’t occur to him.

danny was sitting on his haunches counting the large wad of cash. suddenly, baldo grabbed a framed photograph on a table and struck danny in the head with it as he shoved him very hard into the wall. baldo scooped up all of the cash and headed for the front door. he was outside and on the run before anyone in the house knew what was going on. well, other than danny. he made it to his car and had it fired up as the front door opened and light streamed out onto the dark front yard. it was eddie layne.

baldo burned rubber as he left the curb then sped down the dark street without the cars headlights. at the corner he barely slowed down as he made a careening left and sped towards his home. eddie was in the middle of the street by this time and knew trying to catch baldo at this point wasn’t very likely. he went back into the house to check on his brother.

jenny had a wet towel and was holding it to danny’s forehead. there were a few drops of blood on the floor.

‘you ok, bro?’

‘yeah, the fucker cold cocked me. it’s just a flesh wound. i’ll be ok.’

‘he got all of the cash didn’t he?’

‘fraid so, eddie. sorry.’

‘me too guys. i…i…never thought it would come to this…’

‘well shit, jenny who did?’ it was eddie who spoke. he continued.

‘you did good in finding him, jenny. real good. you’ve got a real talent for that. did you find out where he lives?’

‘no, well, not really. someplace around st. george’s.’

‘ok. it’s a start.’

eddie grabbed the phone and called information and asked for baldo’s number. it was unlisted.

‘it’s not a large area but too big to start looking tonight. if he’s even going home. i’ll make a couple of calls in the morning. we’ll find him.’

baldo bustamonte drove south down vine with his lights still off. he ran the stop at ‘g’ st and kept on going south. when he reached ‘d’ st he ran the stop as he turned left. his luck was still holding as there was no one else out and about at that hour. not even the cops. when he reached his home on the corner of ‘d’ and fern he pulled his car into the garage in the alley. collected all the cash. got out of the car. closed the garage door and went into the house. sitting alone and thinking in the dark living room baldo bustamonte fell asleep on the couch tightly clutching the large wad of cash.

jmh

wire to wire pt 1

the cigar smelled expensive. not a cheap smoke for sure but still cigar smoke. he thought of saying something to the guy. instead he looked around for empty seats and searched for some among non smokers. not seeing any he sighed and resigned himself to a day at the races filled with cigar smoke. at least the day was sparkling clear in that early january way you often got in southern california. wet or dry. the day cool in the shadow of the roof over head. the few empty seats filling up fast. first post was forty-five minutes away. waving at some of the cigar smoke with his racing form baldo bustamonte sighed again as he stood up. he unfolded the newspaper and placed it over the back of his seat. the proper way of seat saving at santa anita. if you weren’t aware of that fact you were quickly introduced to it by anyone sitting nearby if you tried to take the seat. common race track etiquette is a way of life in arcadia.

baldo bustamonte made his way to the betting windows where he placed $500 across the board on the number 4, 5, and 8 horses. it was his usual opening race bet. regardless of who the horses or jockeys were or the odds. regardless of anything other than the numbers: 4, 5, and 8. they were a combination of his birth month and birth year. and it was something he’d been doing ever since he started going to the races with his parents back in the early 60′s. too young then to place bets so his mom or dad placed the bets for him. of course, the bet back then was nothing close to his now standard $500 opening bet. over the years he’d actually been fairly lucky with it. maybe lady luck would smile on him again today.

after placing his bet baldo wandered over to a concession stand and bought a couple of hot dogs and a draft beer. he brought the food and drink back to his seat and was elated to see the cigar smoker’s seat was empty and there was no newspaper or racing form over it’s back. maybe today was going to be a lucky day after all. smiling and humming an old gram parsons tune while he ate, baldo almost choked on his beer when a stunning young lady made her way to the now empty seat. stunning and alone. fortune was indeed smiling on baldo this cool clear january afternoon. or so it seemed.

the well dressed young woman got up and placed her racing form over the back of the seat. sweet, baldo thought, she’s here for awhile at least. while thinking that thought their eyes met and baldo felt a quick jolt as the young lady smiled at him. post time was quickly approaching so she was probably on her way to make a bet. baldo decided to let things take whatever course they would take regarding the young lady. he wasn’t going to push it. even though pushing it wouldn’t be a bad idea. she was gorgeous. he was there for the races and hopefully for a much needed inflow of cash. not there to get lucky with the ladies. ladies usually meant a cash outflow. time would tell on both counts.

first post had sounded and the horses were out on the track walking to the starting gate when the young woman returned. she removed the newspaper from the back of her seat and shot baldo another jolting smile. if this keeps up, he thought, i’m in trouble. baldo bustamonte needed a clear head if he was going to make any money on the horses today. though he did smile back. more like a lopsided ear to ear grin. he told himself to chill out as he began to study the second race card in the racing form.

as the horses neared the starting gate baldo put down his paper and watched them enter the gate with his field glasses. they were a calm lot and none of them seemed to be spooked by anything or anyone. probably a good sign. when the last horse entered the gate a split second later the bell rang and the track announcer’s voice came over the speakers. ‘and they’re off!’

as the horses made their first pass in front of the stands baldo was pleasantly surprised to see the 4, 5, and 8 horses in the lead running neck and neck. rounding the first turn it seemed as if they were beginning to pull away while still running as a trio. neck and neck. the clear almost three dimensional san gabriel mountains are the perfect backdrop to the santa anita backstretch. the backstretch where baldo’s horses were still neck and neck and a good two lengths in front of the next horse. as he watched the three horses through his field glasses he began to feel his pulse quicken. there was nothing like it. a bunch of money riding on the first race. a bunch of money on your horses in the first race. and your horses in the lead as they approached the second turn and the home stretch.

coming through the last turn almost seemed to slingshot the three horses down the home stretch. their lead now three and a half lengths. still running neck and neck. baldo stood up and cheered his horses on. the rest of the crowd was on their feet as well. yelling. cheering. urging on the horses. by the time they reached the finish line they were five lengths in front and the number 4 horse had the lead by a neck. the number 5 horse in second by a nose with number 8 in the show position as they thundered past and crossed the finish line. baldo bustamonte was ecstatic as he yelled and jumped up and down. he’d done a quick calculation in his head and figured he was now up in the neighborhood of $2,300. sweet indeed.

the crowd began to calm down a bit but there was still a buzz in the air. they had just seen something almost magical. something almost unbelievable. three horses running neck and neck. wire to wire. a few minutes later when the numbers were posted baldo let out a shriek when he saw he’d won $2,556 on the first race. a new record for him and his standard opening bet. he was still jumping up and down yelling when the young lady turned and looked at him saying.

‘you must have hit the jackpot.’

‘pretty much. it’s a nice hit for sure. my biggest first race ever.’

‘lucky you.’

yeah. lucky me. thought baldo bustamonte. lucky me.

baldo sat down and dug out his winning ticket from his shirt pocket. he held it in both hands as he looked at it. while he was staring at the ticket he was drawn from his reverie once again by the young lady.

‘i won a couple of bucks too. let’s cash our tickets in and get a drink.’

baldo looked up at her smiled and said. ‘sure. sounds like a plan to me.’

as the two made their way to the nearest aisle baldo was thinking this was turning out to be a very lucky day indeed. when they got to the asile baldo introduced himself. as they were shaking hands the young lady told baldo her name was, jenny rider. they walked up the stairs to the pay out windows and collected their winnings, chatting along the way.

since they had forgotten to save their seats baldo suggested an upgrade to the ‘turf club’ for their drink. his treat. jenny agreed and they made their way to the club. once inside they got their drinks sat down and chatted some more. it turned out jenny had come to the track with some guy she’d recently started dating. for some reason or another they gotten into a fight and jenny had left the guy and wandered over into the area where baldo was sitting in order to get away from the guy. baldo just listened and sipped his vodka rocks while inserting ah huhs and nods as needed. jenny was saying that the problem now was she had no ride home. baldo, being ever the gentleman, said he’d be willing to give jenny a ride home after the last race. jenny smiled and told him thanks. the stupid lopsided grin was back on baldo’s face

the two new friends spent the rest of the day in the ‘turf club’ betting on the horses and getting to know each other. they seemed to be hitting it off fairly well. baldo’s luck stayed with him as well. he won several more races and collected another $1,800 or so. after the eighth race baldo asked if jenny had had enough of the races and if she wouldn’t mind leaving now so they could miss the majority of the crowd heading home later. jenny agreed. she then suggested stopping at a restaurant she knew of on the way for dinner. baldo said fine with him. yes, things were looking up for baldo bustamonte. or so it seemed.

jmh

christmas past and future(?)

this is from 2007 a tad old but i’m being lazy because it’s christmas. ah well, enjoy.

there’s been a few odd christmas eves in my addled and some what sorta wasted life. vietnam being the first.  the trip down to the beach and the south china sea in order to pick up a very odd south vietnamese sorta pine tree for the hooch and christmas.  three of us.  one sorta pine like tree was found and chopped down with the machette.  though in it’s limbs lurked a two step viper.  the most deadly of all snakes in vietnam.  i spotted the fucker and it was killed, in all it’s glory, by the three of us dumping three mags of m-16 ammo into it’s slim and very tiny but deadly body. instant sashimi. the tree ended up in the hooch with some sorta christmas lights and stuff.  one of the more odd and sad christmas’ in my sad demented life.

the other being a couple of years ago when i was on my own and living by myself.  yes, well, for whatever reasons.  i was sick with the flu and it was around 2am on christmas eve day.  i had gotten out of bed in order to pee and fell back into said bed when i heard 4 shots ring out and the death, ahhhh, from the dead guy.  the bedroom window was open.  turns out to have been a homeless guy and a drug deal gone bad.  well, that was the street version any the ways.  the true version i’m sure.  though to this day there are still folks out there who think the guy was a sorta saint.   just goes to show what the straight world knows about anything.  the other homeless had no use for the said dead guy.  trust me.

yeah, it’s christmas and i hope all of you have a very good and pleasant one.  there’s folks out there that aren’t going to have one.  that being a merry or pleasant christmas.  sad but true.  i hope you all do something to help those less fortunate.  that might include those in the military and off doing the bidding of those who seem to run shit.   yeah, well. any rate, have a merry christmas and a happy new year.

jmh

2011-12 college bowl games picks & predictions

with the regular season over the only thing we fans have left are the season ending bowl games. a little bit of pre holiday and post holiday magic. games gift wrapped up by the ever increasingly omniscient BCS. the big brother of the college football world that can never seem to get things right. this year even more so. we sit and argue the last few weeks of the season knowing full well who should be playing where and against whom only to be trumped and dumped on by the BCS klan and TV money.

make no mistake, it’s all about the money. as you are reading this insanity dump trucks the size of rhode island and belly dumpers twice the size of oahu are being loaded up with tons and tons of cash. used bills with nothing larger than a twenty are being shoveled into the trucks then sent on their way to the deans and regents of pretty much ever school of higher learning in the land. yeah, small used bills with non sequential serial numbers and none of them wrapped with those pesky bands either. for you see, the deans and regents like to wallow buck ass naked in and amongst the used cash. TV folks on the other hand prefer bills no smaller than a cee note. the newer and crisper the better. of course, all properly counted and banded for them. it makes it easier to wire transfer stuff that way. banded currency flows down the wires and out to those off shore accounts much quicker. it also makes it easier to disappear that way. penn and teller are jealous of the speed and greed of the self serving TV crowd.

i’ve been saying this for a few years now. you want playoffs? the BCS doesn’t. no matter what they say. the deans, regents, and comissioners? hell no they don’t. TV? surely you jest. the coaches? another slippery bunch as well. they actually like the current system despite anything they say to the contrary concerning playoffs. why? everybody going to one of the antiquated bowls gets another 21 days more or less of practice. 21 more days of practice the left out bunch doesn’t get. 21 days of sanctioned NCAA one ups man-ship over the also rans. see? no one really wants a playoff system.

too much money slopping around. plenty of lip service and out right balderdash from the deans and regents. who along with the TV folks and antiquated bowls want nothing more than the lip service and loads of balderdash. there are way too many hot needy strippers who need the money doled out by this bunch of crazed fools bent on out drinking a flotilla of sailors on shore leave. they’re all a sad bunch indeed. we on the other hand sit on our hands and enable all those dumb asses. you want playoffs? it’s very simple, kids. and i’m going to keep at it until everyone out there gets it. stop the madness. stop buying tickets to these bowl games. if no one shows up for the games they’ll go away. eventually. perhaps even more important stop watching them on TV. you folks do that they’ll for sure go away and bingo here come the playoffs. it’s not brain surgery people. it’s simple math with a playoff system at the end of the rainbow. suck it up and just do it.

the feds aren’t going to help because they’re just as greedy and corrupt as all of the deans, regents, commissioners, and TV dimwits combined. get over that idea. they can’t even manage the stuff they ought to be doing. let alone ‘fixing college football’. yeah, they’ll fix it alright. fix it right out of existence. then tell us that’s what we really wanted in the first place because football is violent and promotes winning. two very evil things to be sure.

yeah, ok. you came here to read about ‘your’ team and what someone thinks about their chances of wining one of these useless turkeys. fine i’ll pander to some of you. why not? you won’t be getting all of the games because 90% of them are unwatchable at best. no one cares other than you. just remember this is for fun and entertainment purposes only. no spreads or points or any of that stuff here. just straight up win or lose.

rock ‘n’ roll.

12/17 new mexico bowl. temple @ wyoming. interesting because wyoming is playing some good football. also interesting because only a few years ago temple was the worst college team in the country. i’ll take wyoming.

12/17 new orleans bowl. san diego st @ la lafayette. i’m a so calif homer. too bad the aztecs are stuck in this mess of a game. enjoy bourbon st kids but don’t forget there’s a game to play. take san diego st.

12/22 maaco bowl. arizona st @ boise st. might be a decent match up. kellen moore will have already been hosed by the heisman voters so he has nothing to lose. take out the bowl insurance policy and keep him in the whole game for a change coach petersen. take boise st.

12/24 hawaii bowl. nevada @ s. mississippi. only interesting in the fact it will be possibly fun to see if s. miss can get up for another game. take the golden eagles.

12/29 alamo bowl. washington @ baylor. baylor gets a shot at walking all over the huskies. come on sark make it a game, please. take baylor.

12/30 pinstripe bowl. iowa st @ rutgers. big apple thugs are looking forward to the iowa hayseeds flocking to the big city for this one. rutgers gets the nod in order to get the ‘home’ crowd out and in the seats. iowa st thumps rutgers handily.

12/31 fight hunger bowl. illinois @ ucla. the bruins back into another game. this one sans slick rick. they get a gimme from the BCS clowns and the PAC 12 gets a bit more cash in their christmas stocking. amazing. take illinois just because.

1/2 ticket city bowl. houston @ penn st. houston gets a shot at redemption. just remember you must actually play the game in order to receive it, houston. oh alright, take houston.

1/2 rose bowl. wisconsin @ oregon. the granddaddy of them all. i fell in love with the ducks back in 1958 when they lost to ohio st or maybe it was wisconsin in the rose bowl. doesn’t matter really. i still love them. memo to visor head kelly, erase both loses in the ducks other recent bowl games with a win here. you’ll also have to get the team to play much better than they did against the bruins. can you please make a PAC 12 homer proud? thanks in advance. QUACK QUACK!!!!

1/2 fiesta bowl. stanford @ oklahoma st. probably a good game. or maybe the best of the lot. the cowboys hosed by the BCS chumps should be fighting mad. good luck trees. take the cowboys. andrew, take out the insurance. you just might need it.

1/9 BCS championship. alabama @ lsu. the game only the SEC wants to see. the rest of the country be damned. talking heads and the BCS get it all wrong one more bloody time. i love the tide but they played some backwater school in week 13 then sat out week 14. none the less ipso presto facto they end up here in a rematch with lsu. yawn. one i won’t be watching. if you want playoffs you shouldn’t watch this either. time to send a message to all involved in this sordid mess of a system. DON’T WATCH THIS GAME. PERIOD. it’s not even interesting to begin with as it’s a repeat. re-run. re-tread. screw em.

there ya go. merry christmas and happy new year. these are the only bowl games that i have some sort of vague interest in watching. though i probably won’t even watch many of them. the rest of the bowls? no interest what so ever. i don’t care and neither should you. shame on you for sitting around watching this crap foisted upon us by all the greed heads involved. take a stand and turn off your TV and don’t buy tickets to any of the games. it’s the only way the point will ever get across to the numb nuts involved.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 14

call me ishmael. what a great opening line from a classic novel about good and evil. thanks, herman. i don’t know why i got started on this path three weeks ago but i’ll try and steer clear of it from here on out. i had a stellar week to finish off the second to last week of the season by going 8 for 10 with my picks. making my over all stats for the year so far, 70 for 130. a nice bump to be sure in the over all percentage department. with any luck i’ll move it up a little higher with this weeks picks. championship game week, kids. along with the sadness that comes with it. sadness because the college football season is over and done with after this saturday. then it’s nine more months of sitting and waiting for the shortest sweetest season to roll back into our collective lives. yes, there are the bowl games and i’ll get to them next week. the NBA? their season is way too long and i lost all interest during the ‘thug years’. i ain’t going back. MLB? not what it used to be but it’s ok to while away the long hot days of summer. however, in the end it’s a yawn. NFL? nah, not anymore. college football is the only thing myself and plenty of other folks out there have left. sports wise. at least for now any the ways.

picking the 10 games for this week wasn’t that easy. of course, we’ve got the championship games themselves. they were easy enough but there’s just 5 of them. thankfully, there are still a few schools playing some other games as well. the obligatory finishing up the season deals. fine with me as it works in the over all symmetry of things. plus, it gives me something to yammer about other than THE BIG games.

for the last time this year, just remember this is for fun and entertainment purposes only. using anything here for legal or illegal gaming would be insane at best. a really dumb move on multiple levels. don’t do it. keep your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. taking care of your families and even yourself is more important.

the point spreads used here are what i go by in determining my wins and losses for the week. the points may change by game times but what is here is what i use.

rock ‘n’ roll.

12/2 ucla @ oregon. PAC 12 championship. oregon favored by 31.5 points. i may as well jump on the bruins backed into this puppy bandwagon. boy howdy, you can say that again. humiliated by the trojans last week and six days later playing the ducks in the inaugural PAC 12 championship game. amazing. through the glass darkly indeed. hookah smoking caterpillars and all. what is going on here? well, i guess slick rick isn’t going to get one more game and maybe even a bowl game if somebody jerry rigs the flawed BCS deal even more as some are predicting. slick rick was fired by ucla yesterday. adios, slick rick. the timing is a bit odd but slick gets to coach this game friday then he’s gone. no jerry rigged bowl game for him. win or lose. yes, yes. it ain’t over till it’s over and the overweight operatic lady belts one out. however, the bruins winning this little nugget would be along the lines of, well, let’s just say some sort of divine intervention during this christmas season would be needed. though i’m sure visor head kelly will have his hands full this week keeping his kids focused on the game at hand and not down the road on some bowl game with all the related ‘stuff’ involved. he has enough trouble keeping some of them out of the backseat of police cruisers in eugene. it’s a load of points but the ducks should have no problem in covering them and winning. take the ducks. QUACK QUACK!!!!

12/3 s. mississippi @ houston. C USA championship. houston favored by 13 points. unless i’m mistaken this will be the first time all season either team has played a ranked opponent. good old C USA. houston playing at home is pretty much unstoppable. if case keenum is healthy and plays the cougars will probably roll over southern miss. a good game and another chance to watch an outstanding young quarterback. take houston to win and cover.

12/3 iowa st @ kansas st. kansas st favored by 10.5 points. iowa st gets one more shot at screwing up another schools december/january plans. though since their upset victory over oklahoma st things have slid downhill. some wags might even say back to normal. not me. yeah, most years their record blows. however, they are one of the perennial spoilers in the FBS. more often than not the cyclones are apt to screw up just about any other teams saturday. iowa st has also played 7 yes, SEVEN, ranked teams this year. yeah, ok they lost to most of them. however, look to those games as character building or trial by fire. plus, not many schools can say they played SEVEN ranked teams this year or another year for that matter. a let down last week for the cyclones. back in the saddle this week. take iowa st to at least get inside the spread and maybe even win.

12/3 texas @ baylor. baylor favored by 3 points. almost a toss up. home court advantage, the bears. texas righted their ship last weekend. will that be enough? maybe not. baylor has robert griffin lll at qb. take baylor to win and cover the spread.

12/3 georgia @ lsu. SEC championship game. lsu favored by 13 points. the game is supposedly being played on a neutral field. i guess a game played in another venue other than georgia’s sanford stadium is a neutral site for them. i would also guess that said game in atlanta would be considered an away game. i don’t think so. make no mistake this is a home game for the bulldogs. i hope georgia wins for any number of reasons. but i doubt they will. however, take the bulldogs to at least get inside the point spread.

12/3 new mexico @ boise st. boise st favored by 48.5 points. boise st failed, yet again, to cover the spread last week. thanks, wyoming for giving me the win. i probably should have picked the wyoming/colorado st game instead of this possible train wreck in the making game. new mexico has one of the worst FBS programs going. good luck to, bob davie in turning the lobos program around in the next few years. though he just might pull it off. plus, he gets to live in new mexico while he attempts doing just that. win win for him. kellen moore’s last regular season game. one last shot at churning out more smurf turf records. one last shot at impressing the heisman voters. the biggest question being, can he throw enough touchdown passes to cover the boat load of points? i see no reason for boise st not to cover the spread and win. take boise st.

12/3 byu @ hawaii. byu favored by 7.5 points. another filler game. though byu has very quietly come a long way since labor day weekend. even getting dumped on by the big east conference because byu wouldn’t play nice in the big east sandbox. i can’t really blame byu, the big east needed them. byu doesn’t need the big east. though byu does need the almighty big east AQ status. they also need their ninth win of the year to put a nice stamp on their decision to stay an indy and not share their TV bucks with anyone else. if byu’s qb is cleared to play and byu’s defense catches the plane bound for oahu the cougars should win and cover the spread. take them.

12/3 oklahoma @ oklahoma st. oklahoma st favored by 3.5 points. home field 3 plus for the cowboys. big time rivalry game here, kids. should be the game of the weekend. oklahoma st has had since november 18 and their loss to iowa st to get ready for this one. i’m assuming they’re ready to rumble. probably more than ready. take the cowboys to win and cover the points.

12/3 wisconsin @ michigan st. Big 10 championship. wisconsin favored by 9.5 points. i don’t get this one. a rematch of the game back in october. the spartans won at home. not a home game for the rematch but wisconsin is favored. is that it? what am i missing here? take michigan st to at least get inside the spread at minimum and more than likely to win again.

12/3 virginia tech @ clemson. ACC championship. virginia tech favored by 7.5 points. clemson is coming off two losses in a row. qb logan thomas is looking to reverse his loss at clemson back in october. he hasn’t lost a game since then. a perfect roll since october 1st. take virginia tech to win and cover the spread.

these games and some others close out the regular college football season. thanks to all of you for reading this year and i hope you find me again next year in september when i start the insanity all over again. you could also come back next week for my take on the college bowls for this year. i hope you do. either way the safe bet is as always, red meat and red wine. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 13

it was a dark and stormy night and the curse of the higher ranked BCS teams reeled madly about. ok. so i borrowed from charles dickens last week and this week i’m borrowing from an even greater writer, snoopy, of ‘peanuts’ fame. well, sorta. it wasn’t quite stormy here but it may as well have been. dismal would be more like it. a very sorry 4 for 10 on the week. bringing my over all down a bit to 62 for 120. my head is still above water but i’m getting tired of just treading water with the coast guard no where in sight.

the one big bright spot for the weekend and myself was the fact iowa st handed oklahoma st their hat. along with illinois hanging in there with wisconsin and michigan battering the cornhuskers. once again boise st failed to cover the spread and i’ll be happy to take that slim san diego st victory. with the graduation of kellen moore boise st could very well be in worse straights next year. also an epic battle between my ducks and trojans. coach lane, to be sure, sticking one to visor head kelly. a bitter sweet game if there ever was one for yours truly.

week 13 is all about rivalry weekend. pre and post turkey day madness. there is the ever present possibility that this weeks games could make last weeks upsets look mild in comparison. along with the related BCS implications and bowl berth slots here one day and gone the next. or maybe not. this weekend, my friends, is what college football is all about. rivalries. winning one for the gipper and taking an old rival out of some bowl or title game. though any number of the schools seem to be willing to throw rivalries and other related sundry stuff under the bus in order to pander to the almighty AQ berth(s) and the TV cash cow. more on that in a couple of weeks. at any rate, other than the first week of the season this is my favorite week of college football.

what is presented here is for fun and entertainment purposes only. it is not meant to used by the reader to take to his or her betting guru or sports book in order to bet the farm away. leave your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. taking care of your family and yourself is more important. trust me.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/24 texas @ texas a&m. texas a&m favored by 9 points. turkey day college ball. probably a good game with some lone star state bragging rights. the longhorns haven’t scored many points the last two games. the aggies beat iowa st and baylor. take texas A&m to win and cover.

11/25 houston @ tulsa. houston favored by 3 points. basically a toss up. tulsa has played 3 ranked teams and lost. houston hasn’t played a ranked team this year. i’m guessing houston will stay undefeated for the regular season. take houston to win and cover.

11/25 arkansas @ lsu. lsu favored by 12 points. if the game were being played in arkansas i think it would be closer. the sad death of the young arkansas tight end might inspire the razorbacks to make this a closer game as well. number one lsu’s home crowd makes the difference here. take lsu to win and cover the points.

11/26 georgia @ georgia tech. georgia favored by 6 points. georgia tech started losing late in the season. the bulldogs on the other hand lost early. they lost their first two games and have rolled ever since. in a game that could go either way georgia has the momentum. take georgia to win and cover the spread.

11/26 wyoming @ boise st. boise st favored by 32.5 points. once again a bunch of points for boise st. to cover. covering the spread hasn’t been one of their strong points this season. for what it’s worth, kellen moore has one more home game after this one to further impress the heisman gang. the cowboys are one of my upset teams for the year. wyoming may not win but they are playing well and they will get inside the points. take the wyoming cowboys.

11/26 oregon st @ oregon. oregon favored by 28 points. civil war time in oregon. along with another bunch of points. this is always a game that can go either way in any year. oregon st hasn’t played well this season. though they did beat washington last week. while the ducks lost to the trojans. another crazed autzen stadium home crowd probably still reeling a bit from the loss to usc. the ducks need to bounce back and visor head kelly will hopefully help make that happen. take the ducks to win and cover. QUACK QUACK!!!

11/26 alabama @ auburn. alabama favored by 21 points. both schools played a fighting road kill last weekend. sort of an oddity this late in the season and something i don’t really get. i love the tide but 3 fighting road kill wins for the number two BCS team? it makes you wonder at times. any the ways, bragging rights for the state of alabama and another game that could go either way. a bunch of points and bama’s offense had better show up this week or they won’t be covering the spread. let alone looking for a re-match with lsu. plus, most folks don’t care much for defensive struggles. we tend to nod off or channel surf. be that as it may, take the tide to win and cover the points. ROLL TIDE!!!

11/26 clemson @ s. carolina. s. carolina favored by 4 points. i guess it’s the home court 3 plus one here. i’m not seeing it either. take clemson to win or at the very least get inside the meager spread.

11/26 notre dame @ stanford. stanford favored by 6.5 points. another long flight for the domers. their last trip out here to the left coast was for a loss against the trojans. this trip should be no different. touchdown jesus barely survived a boston college team that resembles oregon st. this year. at one point this was stanford’s year. that train has left the station. stanford needs this one in order to have any chance at all for a shot at the rose bowl. and it’s a long shot. hopefully, they will be up for the challenge. if they aren’t the irish could take it. this is probably luck’s last chance at impressing the heisman folks. he needs to shine. i think he will. take the trees to win and cover.

11/26 ucla @ usc. usc favored by 14.5 points. the city of lost angels bragging rights are on the line. these kids see each other all over town all year long. some have been playing each other since high school. make no mistake, this is the biggest game of the year in lotus land. records mean nothing. slick rick needs this puppy to keep his job and he knows it. yes, he’s done pretty well for the year. much better than expected and the bruins have a shot at the pac 12 south due to the trojan’s problem. thanks once again, coach petey. another bowl game for the trojans. one of many this year for them. though this one is their biggest. coach lane has done a very good job in keeping the trojans focused. he’s instilled enough pride to get the job done most weeks. count on both squads to show up for this game. it might be close early but the trojans roll. take usc to win and cover. FIGHT ON!!!

only one more weekend to go and then it’s gone only to be replaced by the bowl games and winter’s grip. college football. because if you’re reading this you’re like me and college football is your favorite sport. enjoy the games, your holiday, and your families. for this week only, replace the red meat with turkey, chicken, or duck and pour some pinot noir. be safe. be semi sane. have a happy thanksgiving! cheers!

jmh

2011 college football picks week 12

it was the best of times. it was the worst of times. or approaching something like it. it all pretty much describes my record for the past week. i went 5 for 10 again. putting my overall standings for the year at, 58 for 110. stuck on mediocre. at least i’m not tanking. also at least the game of the week rolled up some points and proved to be much more exciting than the previous week’s saturday night big game of the week. my ducks surprised me by winning and in doing that they take some of the sting out of the loss on the books. boise st fails to cover one more time then loses any shot at the big dance by dumping the game with a missed field goal. deja vu all over again. they seem to find stellar receivers and quarterbacks but can’t recruit any kickers. i guess they figure they really don’t need one. well, sometimes you do. the past two weekends has born that out for several other schools too not just boise. a huge shout out to the wyoming cowboys for making one of my picks look very good. nice job beating air force. hats off to norm chow as well. sticking it to slick rick must have felt pretty good. though utah’s defense won the game.

the information or insanity dished out here is for fun and entertainment purposes only. taking any of the insanity to a gaming establishment, legal or otherwise, would be supremely stupid. don’t do it. leave your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. taking care of your family is more important than losing rent and food money by chasing the pot of gold at the end of the sports betting rainbow.

the point spreads here are what i use to determine my win loss record for the week. some of them may change by game time. it doesn’t matter. what’s here is what i use.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/18 oklahoma st @ iowa st. oklahoma st favored by 26.5 points. friday night lights college style. iowa st can play some football. they’ve also played four ranked teams so far this year. more than some of the ranked teams play all season. oklahoma st will be their fifth ranked opponent, a very heady one to be sure. 26.5 is a bunch of points and yes the cowboys were impressive in almost blowing up the scoreboard last week. however, iowa st home crowd and one game away from a possible bowl game make the cyclones dangerous and probably in a spoiling mood. oklahoma st wins but iowa st gets inside the spread. take the cyclones.

11/19 nebraska @ michigan. michigan favored by 3.5 points. possibly a good game and a tough pick. an emotional week 11 for the cornhuskers along with a squeaker win. their second hostile road game in a row as well. take michigan to win and cover.

11/19 wisconsin @ illinois. wisconsin favored by 14 points. illinois began the year on a roll then hit the wall week 7. they haven’t recovered. wisconsin on the other hand has rolled over their tepid competition. illinois needs another win for a possible bowl shot. wisconsin wins but illinois surprises and gets inside the points. take illinois.

11/19 smu @ houston. houston favored by 19.5 points. houston the lone non-automatic bowl kid left standing. undefeated as well. undefeated in conference usa with NO wins against a ranked team. conference usa and the mac, the rodney dangerfields of college ball. smu beat tcu. if coach june jones gets smu worked up enough they’ll at least get inside the points. take smu.

11/19 lsu @ mississippi st. lsu favored by 28.5 points. home game and mississippi st’s bowl game with one chance at being a big time spoiler. a nice scenario for the rebels. lsu will more than likely win but take miss st to beat the spread and make it, say a 2 touchdown win for lsu. take miss st.

11/19 boise st @ san diego st. boise st favored by 18 points. a decent year for the aztecs. another win would pretty much assure some sort of bowl bid. making this game a close one would probably work just as well for them. take san diego st to get inside the spread.

11/19 oklahoma @ baylor. oklahoma favored by 15.5 points. the sooners should roll though baylor might surprise. take oklahoma to win and cover.

11/19 kansas st @ texas. texas favored by 9.5 points. probably a good game and one that state would have a better shot at if it were a home game. take the longhorns to win and cover.

11/19 usc @ oregon. oregon favored by 15.5 points. another bowl game for the trojans. along with another stab at playing spoiler again. if usc gets on top early and the defense catches the plane to portland the ducks will have their hands full. a good game kids and one with the potential for high scoring and high drama. oregon rarely loses at home. the autzen crowd is one of the loudest and most rabid in the land of college ball. along with the kansas/texas game this is another tough pick. my toughest, as i love my ducks and trojans. the ducks should win but there are a lot of ‘ifs’ in regards to usc. a wet, loud, and cold playing field for one. take the ducks to win and cover. QUACK QUACK!! my wife and i make a trip to usc medical center this coming friday. i guess i’ll be wearing one of my duck t-shirts. yeah, i’m crazy. but you knew that already.

11/19 california @ stanford. stanford favored by 19 points. the battle by the bay or emerald city. take your pick. the trees try to make a comeback on their home turf after the ducks embarrassed them there. or at least that’s the trees hope. amazingly enough the bears are bowl eligible. another wet and cold playing field. take the trees to win, cover, and redeem themselves.

the season dwindles down to the final weeks. it’s the weekend before thanksgiving and some of the better rivalries still to come along with all the championship games. enjoy what’s left of the shortest and sweetest season. as always, the safest bet, red meat and red wine. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 11

i had another satisfying ok week by going 6 for 10 last time around. my over all now stands at, 53 for 100. respectability one week at a time. had the game of the decade gone differently or at least not been a defensive donnybrook with a slew of missed field goals and sundry other opportunities tossed under team buses things might have been different. having never been a fan of games where the defense puts on the show i thought it was a yawner and i actually fell asleep mid first quarter. well before it became even more apparent that no one was scoring anything near or resembling a touchdown for the evening. yeah, well, so sue me. i’m not a fan of leather helmet football. at any rate, it just goes to show you how important your field goal kicker(s) can be. see the ucla arizona st game as well. i should have also listened to myself and not taken boise st to cover the spread. something they have regularly failed at this year though they still remain undefeated. so far. but will it get them a shot at the big dance if they keep it up? i don’t know but i do know i don’t want to see lsu alabama play again any time soon.

as always this is for fun only. using anything you read here for any sort of gaming purpose would be incredibly insane and you would deserve whatever bad things come your way if you do. don’t be stupid, leave your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. paying the rent and putting some decent food and vino on the table is much more important than helping to build bigger casinos somewhere.

the point spreads used here may change by game times. i don’t care. what is here is what i use to determine my wins and losses. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/10 virginia tech @ georgia tech. virginia tech favored by 1 point. let’s keep it simple for the thursday night game. take georgia tech to win.

11/12 auburn @ georgia. georgia favored by 13.5 points. i’m not sure where the 13.5 points are coming from. the game should be a close one. or that’s my thinking. take auburn to possibly win but they will get inside the 13.5 point spread.

11/12 w. virginia @ cincinnati. cincinnati favored by 3.5 points. neither school plays a tough schedule. though both play some pretty good football at times. take cincy and the home field 3 to win and cover.

11/12 michigan st @ iowa. michigan st favored by 2.5 points. the spartans haven’t done well on the road this year. iowa isn’t having one of their better years either. probably a close game. michigan st turns their road record around. take michigan st to win and cover the spread.

11/12 tcu @ boise st. boise st favored by 15 points. smurf turf home game where the boise squad doesn’t normally miss the spread. i’m sure tcu will really be up for this one. boise starts out slow but gains momentum. probably not like any of their recent bowl games but, take boise st to win and cover the points.

11/12 wyoming @ air force. air force favored by 14.5 points. wyoming air force? sure, why not? the cowboys are playing fairly well again after a number of years in the doldrums. when wyoming is winning or at least .500, i’m a fan for some reason. air force is always good for putting some points on the board and giving folks fits even if the falcons don’t win. in my opinion this will be a good one and a game i hope i’ll be able to watch. if the falcons play like they did against army they will be in trouble. i don’t think they will. however, this is an early bowl game for the cowboys. wyoming may not win but they’ll get inside the spread. take them.

11/12 nebraska @ penn st. nebraska favored by 3 points. plenty of off the field drama at penn st. take the cornhuskers to win and cover the points.

11/12 washington @ usc. usc favored by 12.5 points. the trojans come off a rout of colorado with matt throwing for a record 6 td’s. washington has surprised the trojans a few times the last couple of years. hopefully, lane has that figured out by now and there’s no letdown following last weeks game. if the trojans get some early points on the board they should roll. take usc to win and cover the spread. FIGHT ON!!!

11/12 ucla @ utah. utah favored by 7 points. it looks as if slick rick will keep his job. or at least for now. the bruins are still on top of the pac south with others. as odd as all that seems. plus, two wins in a row for ucla. heady territory for the ucla squad which will go bowling with another win. probably not the rose bowl but someplace. at any rate, the winning streak ends this week. norm chow will be looking to make a statement, count on it. take utah to win and cover the points.

11/12 oregon @ stanford. stanford favored by 3.5 points. unlike the ‘big game’ of last weekend this game should, at the very least, have a few touchdowns each by the end of the first quarter. if we’re lucky it will be a total shoot out or one or the other team will dominate on the field and on the scoreboard. the adage: ‘the best defense is a good offense’, applies here. the ducks are at a disadvantage playing away from autzen stadium and their rabidly wasted student fan base. stanford on the other hand may well be down their two best receivers for the game. maybe things will even out. none the less, i’m looking forward to this one, kids. rose bowl implications along with big dance implications. stanford hasn’t been in this position since the days of ty willingham. which brings to mind an email i sent off to a stanford web associate editor dealing with the new, at the time, stanford logo/nickname. i think i’ll share it with you. sure, why not? exactly. i figure if i leave out the young lady’s name it will be ok. no sense dragging her into this mess unannounced. yeah, i saved the exchange from 10 years ago.

hi guys,

hey, this may seem to be rather frivolus in these trying times, but well what can i say? i have been an off and on stanford football rooter for much of my 53 years. i really liked the indian nickname but i guess it proved to be too politically incorrect for some folks. not me i can assure you. we now have the new nickname, the cardinal, with a tree for a logo. a sequioa to be sure. a very noble tree and one of my favorites. however, it just doesn’t have the bite the indians had. particularly in a year like this one when you guys have a decent football team. my proposal would be to change the nickname yet again. this time to, the lelands. in honor of the founder of stanford, a former governor of california, and railroad big wig, leland stanford. what a perfect nickname! just imagine, you could use gold and silver railroad spikes in the logo. or a nice top hat. or both. wow! also, the once vaunted stanford marching band would have lots of stuff to play with making halftimes a fun time once again for us tv viewers. thanks for your time.

regards,

john hauge

stanford’s response:

Hello!

Thanks for your thoughts. I have forwarded your message on to the Athletics department for their consideration.

Sincerely,

(signed by the editor in question who will remain anonymous)

ok. so what does this all mean? the athletic department apparently ignored my novel, if not insane, suggestion. sadly. the game this week? no, i haven’t forgotten. the ducks are on the south side of the spread and if i’m not mistaken that’s a first for the year. possibly a sloppy playing field. if the stanford defense slows the ducks down early they may have some trouble. can the duck defense handle the thumping the trees running game will give them? this game is also andrew luck’s heisman trophy game. it’s the trees year. i love my ducks but take stanford to win and cover.

another great weekend of college ball with the safe bet as always being, red meat and red wine. hopefully, the predicted rain for these parts will let up enough for some protein on the barbie. enjoy your weekend and the games. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 10

i was semi mediocre in going 5 for 10 again for week 9. my over all now stands at 47 for 90. all of my wins for the week coming in by early saturday. by late saturday afternoon the wheels started to come off. at least the brakes held up and it wasn’t a total crash and burn. the mojo is still there but that’s about it. it’s just there. hopefully, it will wake up again for this weekends games. some good games last time around that brought about some BCS poll changes this week with perhaps more coming down the pike again next week. time tells.

hats off to coach lane and his crew for getting the trojans up enough to hang and almost take out stanford. a stellar game regardless of the outcome. though the 3rd overtime rule and stanford’s forced two point conversion sealed my fate for the week. then there’s lane’s after game dumb ass rant. you did a fine job but you lost, coach. don’t blame the officials. you had plenty of time earlier in the game to score some more points. the ducks held on and beat washington st but didn’t cover the spread. not a good sign for coach visor head and oregon. if they couldn’t manhandle a dismal team like the cougars what are they going to do about stanford? but that’s getting ahead of ourselves by a week.

as always, these picks are for fun and entertainment purposes only. taking what’s written here and heading off to your local gaming establishment or shady character on some street corner would be a pretty good definition of insanity. don’t do it. leave your wallet where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. the point spreads used here are what i use to determine my record for the week. things might change by game time but it matters not. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

11/5 texas tech @ texas. texas favored by 14 points. just another rivalry saturday in the state of texas. the longhorns only losses this season were courtesy of the state of oklahoma. tech got hammered by the cowboys last weekend. what’s going on here? what does it all mean? probably a pretty good game. take texas to win and cover the spread.

11/5 texas a&m @ oklahoma. oklahoma favored by 14 points. another good game kids. texas a&m hasn’t beaten a ranked team yet this year. it’s not going to happen this week either. take oklahoma to win and cover the spread.

11/5 kansas st @ oklahoma st. oklahoma st favored by 21 points. it’s the state of oklahoma’s year to shine or so it would seem. the cowboys are on a roll and are heading towards dec 3 and the other undefeated oklahoma. another good game. the TV remote will be getting a nice workout this saturday. take the cowboys to win and cover the points.

11/5 stanford @ oregon st. stanford favored by 21 points. it’s amazing what a year can do to a football program. the beavers have fallen on hard times this year. the other oregon for stanford after a scare in socal. a fumble recovery away from a big time loss and a little bit of luck. i suppose that’s all it takes. if there isn’t a let down and they don’t take state lightly they’ll cover the spread and win. take stanford.

11/5 houston @ uab. houston favored by 27.5 points. houston the number 14 BCS team? that’s what it says. after years of muttering under my breath about boise st there is another team with no schedule sitting in the middle of the BCS pack. it’s a strange world indeed. good old conference usa. a collection of fighting road kill schools hell bent on respectability with even ucla tossed into their win list. i dumped another game so i could add this one in some sort of, well, some sort of something. diversity? insanity? regardless, i suppose houston stays undefeated and further sullies up the BCS mess. take houston to win and cover the points.

11/5 s. carolina @ arkansas. arkansas favored by 4.5 points. two one loss schools in another good game. a game that might and can go either way. home field and the razorbacks. along with the old ball coach wishing he’d dumped garcia for good last year. take arkansas to win and cover the spread.

11/5 arizona st @ ucla. arizona st favored by 9.5 points. i’m surprised it’s only 9.5 points but then slick rick is fighting for his job and he’s doing a good job doing it. the sun devils need this one to stay on track for the pac 12 southern section lead. there’s an odd sentence and one straight from the brave new world of college ball. as sad as it might be. the bruins do have shot in this one coming off a win against cal. though their MO for the season is win one blow the next one. slick rick was yammering about that on the news the other night. the bruins stay the course. take arizona st to win and cover the spread.

11/5 lsu @ alabama. alabama favored by 4.5 points. the game of the day among a number of good ones. number one vs number two in the BCS poll. home field advantage bama. it should be enough. take the tide to roll on and win covering the points. ROLL TIDE!!!

11/5 oregon @ washington. oregon favored by 15 points. the ducks are coming off a lackluster win against the other washington. along with another failure to cover the spread. at least my beloved ducks don’t have a bazillion points to cover this weekend for a change. one week before the showdown with stanford. i should probably take washington to cover but i drank the duck kool-aid way back in 1958. it’s too late to stop now. take the ducks to win and cover. QUACK QUACK!!!

11/5 boise st @ unlv. boise st favored by 42 points. boise st has had a hard time with the spread this year. they can’t seem to cover it some weeks. a new thing for them. they need to kick it up a notch this weekend against unlv who’ll be playing this one like a bowl game they actually want to be in. plus, for what it’s worth, it’s downtown vegas, baby. i’ll probably be kicking myself come saturday night but take boise st to win and cover the points.

ok. it’s ‘TV remote workout weekend’ not to be confused with upset weekend or another moniker weekend you want to hang on it. just remember you heard it here first. make sure you have new batteries in the sucker so you can fully enjoy all of the games by flying back and forth between channels until your head explodes. the safe bet as always, red meat and red wine. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 9

not a stellar week but a pretty good one in that i went 6 for 10. making my overall standings for the season 42 for 80. respectability continues to inch forward. had it not been for two out right losses and two teams winning but not covering the spread things would have been even better. boise st failed to cover the spread for the third time this year. yes, they won and kellen moore had another stand out day at the helm. however, i see trouble in paradise for boise st. the game announcers yammered on about boise st not seeing the option, as run by air force, more the once or twice every few years in some sort of effort to make the falcons look better than they were or are this year. fact of the matter is, boise should have done much more on defense. the having hardly ever seeing the option logic would mean every team that runs the option would more than likely be undefeated. at any rate, that game should raise a flag or two as it says more about boise st than it does the air force. the boise st kool-aid i drink earlier in the year is beginning to leave a sour taste in my mouth. yes, they won and are still in the top 10 in all the polls. i’m not impressed.

then of course, there was oklahoma getting beat down at home. no one saw that coming. well, except for whoever was in charge of the weather saturday night in norman. hints were being handed out for almost two hours as the teams sat in their locker rooms waiting for the lightning storm to pass. then there’s notre dame, you have to wonder who was in charge of playing a very loud snippet of an old black sabbath tune every chance they got in touchdown jesus land. all of this within ear shot of the golden dome. not particularly bright. is it any wonder the domers fumbled the game away? you can’t have it both ways domers.

just remember, this is for fun only. the insanity dealt out here is not meant to be used by any sane person or used for any gaming purposes. legal or otherwise. leave your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. paying the mortgage, sending the kids to college, and putting a nice marinara sauce or some bbqed kobe burgers on the table is much more important. don’t be stupid.

the point spreads used here are what i use to determine my win loss recored for the week. the points may change before game time but what is here is what i use. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/28 byu @ tcu. tcu favored by 13 points. after a slow start buy has started to win again. not the hottest schedule on the planet but they are winning and putting some points on the board. tcu isn’t all that this year as well. take buy to get inside the spread but tcu should win.

10/29 michigan st @ nebraska. nebraska favored by 4 points. nebraska gets the home field 3 plus 1. a close game but i’m thinking nebraska wins and covers at home.

10/29 washington st @ oregon. oregon favored by 36 points. another autzen madhouse. if my beloved ducks don’t take the cougars too lightly they should be able to cover the large bunch of points. take the ducks to win and cover the spread. QUACK QUACK!!

10/29 illinois @ penn st. illinois favored by 5 points. interesting big 10 or 12 match-up. penn st and joe pa rain on the illini’s parade. they may not win but they’ll get inside the spread. take penn st.

10/29 baylor @ oklahoma st. oklahoma favored st by 13.5 points. baylor has had a decent year so far in beating some good schools. if this were a home game for them things might be different. take the cowboys to win and cover the points.

10/29 oklahoma @ kansas st. oklahoma favored by 13.5 points. kansas st is one of the surprises this year. however, this is about pride and saving a sinking ship for the sooners. good game. the the sooners to win and cover the spread.

10/29 clemson @ georgia tech. clemson favored by 4 points. keeping it simple. this isn’t clemson’s first loss of the year. take them to win and cover the points.

10/29 stanford @ usc. stanford favored by 7.5 points. both trojan squads showed for the game last week and another bowl game for the trojans. if the defense can hold on and the offense can score this could be a big surprise for stanford. home town crowd for the men of troy makes a difference as well. if lane keeps them up and there’s no let down they’ll at minimum cover the points. take usc to cover. FIGHT ON!!

10/29 wisconsin @ ohio st. wisconsin favored by 7 points. another one for pride. the badgers need this one. not desperately but they need it none the less. take wisconsin to win and cover the points.

10/29 iowa st @ texas tech. texas tech favored by 15 points. i had another game picked but decided to go with this one instead. i may have been right about the other game. time will tell. iowa st has been a bit sloppy so far this year. the red raiders are on a high after last weeks game. another interesting match-up. iowa st may surprise here. or maybe not. take texas tech to win and cover the spread.

it’s getting good out there on saturday’s, kids. enjoy the games. as always the safe bet red food and red wine. marinara and red vino. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

just another desert island music re-visit or a break in the football action

if you’ve stumbled onto to this while looking for my college football picks for week 8 look to the left and click on it or scroll down to the next entry. thanks. jmh

this is the third version of my must have desert island music must have list. the original idea was to have only 10 LPs or Cds to take with you when you’ve been whisked away to some exotic desert island locale. a fine idea to be sure but to any music aficionado 10 would never be enough regardless of the rules, as abitrary as they might be. plus the fact if it’s going to be over the long haul and you’re stuck there for any length of time you are going to get sick of those 10 Lp/Cds. count on it.

yes, of course, with the advent of the iPod things are different today. however, for the purposes of this adventure and assignment the iPod isn’t part of the equation. no iPods allowed. okay, to be truthful if i were an iPod user things might be different. old school dies hard. real hard.

there is also the fact that over a certain period of time your or my musical taste sort of bounces about here and there. it’s fine to have the original 10 selections and even the next 10 selections plus the honorary mentions along for the ride. the fact of the matter is, it’s not enough. more music is still needed to soothe and replenish. so here i am again re-visiting or adding to my already over flowing 10 must have desert island LPS and/or CD’s. so, once again, in no particular order my desert island music list gets a little longer.

1. gram parsons, ‘the gram parsons anthology’ 2 discs. this clears up some space as it has plenty of stuff on from gram’s brief career. including a number of tunes with emmylou harris, the flying burrito bros, and the birds. yes, some repeats from ‘sweetheart of the rodeo’ but who cares. certainly not me.

2. hank lll, ‘risin’ outlaw’. one of my favorite country CDs.

3. hank lll, ‘straight to hell’. speed metal, punk, and country rolled up into one nifty package. for those times when nothing else will do.

4. bob wills and his texas playboys, ‘the essential bob wills: 1935 – 1947′. boy howdy. ride em cowboy.

5. spade cooley, ‘shame on you’. the other half of the western swing battle of the bands. bob and spade duked it out many weekend here in socal a few years before i was born. spade won. well, up until he pummeled his wife to death in the early 60′s.

6. emmylou harris, ‘wrecking ball’. a grammy for emmy and the usual haunting vocals from one of the best.

7. emmylou harris, ‘the very best of emmylou harris’. more haunting vocals from the best of the best.

8. new riders of the purple sage, ‘new riders of the purple sage’. the 1971 first LP by the group. great songs and vocals. jerry garcia shines on steel guitar.

9. tens years after, ‘ten years after’. their first LP. alvin lee is one of the best ax players ever.

10. tens years after, ‘undead’. more of the same and easy to see why i think these guys were one of the best live acts ever.

there they are. 10 more added to the list. i’m sure at some point there will be more. after all, living out the rest of your fantasy life on a desert island is gonna take plenty of music. for editorial purposes i’m going to add the first two at the bottom of this current list. hopefully, there will be room.

“Never under estimate the influence of country music in rock ‘n’ roll.” Keith Richards

jmh

this started out to be a whole mind numbing run down of a old lp i came across a few weeks ago. stuff i hadn’t heard in a very long time. yeah, like 30 plus years. the problem being someone did a short blog on this band last week with a youtube video stuck in it for good measure. my mind numbing thunder had been stolen. so here i am trying to deal with it.

i’ve looked over the 10 lp’s/cd’s and there really isn’t anything i’d change. i could stick some other stuff in there but then i’d be missing the original stuff. you don’t miss your water till the well runs dry.

so maybe an alternate 10 cd desert island music list is needed just in case of some sort of musical emergency or just because i still need to yammer about this one old lp in particular. the other parameters still stand from the original. i won’t repeat them here because i do that enough as it is and if you really care you can read the original.

1. the byrds — ‘sweetheart of the rodeo’. an amazing piece of country music with some of the best peddle steel guitar you are gonna hear this side of hilo hattie and her old b/w tv show from hilo, hawaii in the 50′s. or perhaps spade cooley and his band on local l.a. tv every weekend back in those same b/w 50′s as well. even if you aren’t a fan of country music this will make you a fan or there’s sumpin’ wrong someplace.

2. tower of power — ‘east bay grease’. that’s the one i’ve been obsessing on for the past few weeks. well, actually it’s a greatest hits cd by the band. so i suppose you could interchange either one. however, ‘east bay grease’ was my introduction to them. i’m really not sure just how far east they went from their oakland, ca roots. hence, east bay grease not to be confused with whatever was going on over in the city or frisco as us un-enlightened ones loved calling san francisco just to piss them off. drifting. if you have never heard tower of power you are missing some of the best soul, r and b, and funk to ever be laid out on vinyl. hands down. just another horn band laying down some good stuff. not chicago, or blood, sweat and tears, or cold blood. nope. tower of power. tight ass horn riffs with a bass line along with drums to make any band jealous. ‘you got to funkifize’, ‘your still a young man’, ‘soul vaccination’, and the truly hip ‘what is hip’. try it you’ll like it.

3. peter green’s fleetwood mac — ‘live at the marquee’. yes, the original and still the best fleetwwod mac. just crunched out down home blues.

4. fleetwood mac — ‘men of the world’. a newer lovely 2 cd package of some more old fleetwood mac from the old days. the original ‘black magic woman’ and ‘oh well’ make it worth your while.

5. frank sinatra — ‘live at the sands’. a great lp with old blue eyes belting em out backed by the count basie band. sweet. it doesn’t get much better.

6. the rolling stones — ‘beggars banquet’. some great stuff including the greatest sing a long line ever from ‘sympathy for the devil’.

7. the rolling stones — ‘now’. ‘pain in my heart’ and ‘little red rooster’

8. the rolling stones — ‘out of our heads’. ‘under assistant west coast promotion man’. along with ‘satisfaction’.

9. the rolling stones — ‘aftermath’. ‘think’ and the countrified tunes ‘flight 505 ‘ and ‘high and dry’. along with the 11 minute masturbatory grand finale ‘going home’.

10. cream — ‘fresh cream’. their first lp.

there ya go. my alternate desert island lp’s. of course no top 10 worth it’s salt could be with out a runner-up. this list is no exception. my runner-up would be a double cd of stevie ray vaughan & double trouble’s ‘greatest hits’. actually it just might be interchangeable with ‘fresh cream’ depending on the mood and the moment.

jmh

i’ve kicked this one around in my head for awhile now. other than being transported to some exotic asian place loaded up with all the stuff i’d ever need and babes to go along with it all, where else would work as a nice place to be whisked off to? the obligatory desert island for me. of course, it would have have a nice break, surf wise. maybe chest high glass all day long with some nice barrels that rolled for a bit just so you could get comfortable riding them with a board or body surfing. a kinda kick back and enjoy the ride along with the scenery deal.

i’d need a couple of marshall amps as well or jbl’s, something with some power to them so while i was out in the water i could listen to my music. yes, my desert island would have electricity. cause i am not going if there is no power for stuff. a long time ago i might have but these days, no, i need some comfort. along with a nice bbq, decent food, maybe a lady or two and of course some dago red or white. hmmm, desert islands are hot so some ice cold chinese beer would be nice as well. then of course there’s the music.

now the rub is, i can only take 10 cd’s with me. that’s it because with all the other crap there’s no more room. you see, whisking machines can only hold so much and with a couple of babes along for the trip i’m sure most of the stuff would be theirs anyhow. leaving me only enough room for the 10 cd’s, a pair of shorts, a university of oregon t shirt, some flip flops plus a surfboard and a swim fin. oh yeah, and the massive speakers. i can travel semi light when the need arises.

the real question has been, what 10 cd’s? what music would i really need? what music is gonna make me happy is what it boils down to. plus, what can i listen to over and over again that won’t drive me mad or madder. good questions. i’ve thought about it and i’ve come up with my 10 selections. of course yours would be different. as sly used to sing, different strokes for different folks. no sly didn’t make the cut. at any rate here they are in no particular order.

1. rolling stones- let it bleed, the opening riffs of ‘gimme shelter’ still give me goose bumps.

2. rolling stones- exile on main street, for me it’s says lots of stuff on all kinds of levels.

3. jimi hendrix- electric ladyland, what could be better than crashing through a tube while body surfing and hearing ‘voodoo child’ screaming out from the sand?

4. bob dylan- highway 61 re-visited, if only for ‘desolation row’.

5. the mothers- burnt weeny sandwich, gotta have some of my mothers and that one pretty much covers the mothers’ spectrum, plus i love it.

6. bob dylan- blonde on blonde, ‘visions of johanna’ and ‘sad eyed lady of the lowland’. nuff said.

7. pink floyd- ummagumma live, the ultimate floyd drug experience lp. i still listen to it just for the contact high.

8. van morrison- moondance, this was a really tough one. it boiled down to this cd having ‘into the mystic’ on it. plus ‘moondance’ and he’s always good for getting the ladies interested.

9. paul butterfield blues band- east/west, there aren’t too many blues cd’s out there much better. this one still kicks ass.

10. the allman bros- live at fillmore east, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. this cd is probably the best party cd ever made.

ok. there they are. you are all of course going…well, he’s forgotten and what the fuck is he thinking? and yada yada yada. don’t matter cause it’s my list and my desert island. more importantly, my ears channeling the stuff to be processed by my brain.

this is actually a kind of fun thing to do. it was interesting going over and over stuff to get to the final 10. try it for yourself. the limit is 10 cd’s. no more. oh, i guess you can do less, i wouldn’t, but then it’s all up to you.

music provided by, david bowie, ‘ziggy stardust’, the 30th anniversary edition, an honorary mention.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 8

i’m coming off another stellar week of picks by going 8 for 10 again. that makes it two weeks in a row, kids. pretty sweet if you ask me. i was doing really well up until the last two games when i was sitting on 8 for 8. oklahoma and oregon both won but neither team managed to cover the spread. close but no brass ring and no going 10 for 10 last week. which just goes to show you how difficult it is to have a perfect weekend of picks against the spread. at any rate, i’m now 36 for 70 overall with my mojo seemingly on cruise control and hopefully still working for this week’s picks. i’m inching towards an even more respectable record.

the first BCS poll of the year is out which i’m sure has everyone upset along with something to say about it and/or be pissed off about it. or for most folks probably both at the same time. the bottom line is, with the bane of college football’s existence, the BCS poll, out this past sunday teams can no longer afford the luxury of losing any more games. that is if they want any shot at a decent bowl berth and a big money pay off come late december and early january. though regular readers know how i feel about the whole bowl game system.

as always, remember this is for fun only and the insanity expressed here is not meant to be taken to your local bookmaker, or out of state, or off shore, or off to some native american gaming spot where it could be used as advice for any gaming pursuits. only an insane person would do that. a really insane person. leave your wallet in your pocket where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. it’s as simple as that. paying the mortgage and putting food on the table is more important. don’t be stupid.

the point spreads used here are what i go by to determine my win/loss record for the week. the spreads may change by game time but for my purposes it matters not. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/20 ucla @ arizona. arizona favored by 3 points. neither school is playing very well. ok. sure. the other stoops is already gone and slick rick is hanging by a slender winning record semi sort of making him the king of pac 12 south. yes, of course it makes no sense. but it’s the brave new world order of college ball. odd thing is the wildcats are favored. even if it’s just the home field three. anyway, it’s a prime time thursday night game. more than likely a yawner but you never know. if the arizona kids aren’t totally demoralized they should win this one. if only for the gipper…er…the other stoops AND the guy who recruited them. giving them a chance to play college ball and get a pretty much free college education along the way. take arizona to win and cover the points.

10/22 oklahoma st @ missouri. oklahoma st favored by 7 points. a nice way to start off your saturday morning and all day saturday watching football day with probably a good game. an odd run on type sentence but who cares. also probably lots of points. missouri could win this one by a touchdown but i’m taking the cowboys to win and cover the spread. you should too.

10/22 auburn @ lsu. lsu favored by 22.5 points. a bunch of points. the good thing being it’s a home game for the tigers. so far auburn has been surprising at times this year. lsu is just too much for them though. take lsu to win and cover the points.

10/22 oregon @ colorado. oregon favored by 32 points. my beloved ducks didn’t cover the spread last week and it was half of what it is this week. the phrase, ‘a bunch of points’, comes to mind. i guess the main point being, colorado doesn’t have it this year. if oregon doesn’t get sloppy and they find someone else to step up and fill some more shoes they shouldn’t have any problem winning and covering the large spread. take the ducks. QUACK QUACK!!!

10/22 air force @ boise st. boise st favored by 31 points. smurf turf home game for boise and they rarely if ever get beat or miss the spread at home. air force is treading water this year. sorta like the jet fighter that had to ditch in the ocean then sits waiting for air sea rescue to show up. both schools rumored to have invites to join the big east. two semi west coast schools in the big east? makes sense to me. at any rate, boise st should walk all over the falcons this saturday. take boise st to win and cover the large spread.

10/22 tennessee @ alabama. alabama favored by 29 points. the volunteers did okay against the fighting road kill earlier in the season. although lsu handed them their helmets last week. the tide will do the same this week. take alabama to win and cover the spread. ROLL TIDE!!!

10/22 usc @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 9 points. one of the older college football rivalries. rabid domers still rant about the reggie bush push from the last decade. yeah, perceived slights are hard to let go of in the land of the golden dome. the trojan defense showed up for last week’s game and then played both sides of the ball for the trojan. or seemingly so. a very nice gesture as they’ve missed most of the season so far. this is usc’s bowl game for the year. or at least one of them. um, the pretend ones, since they can’t go to a real one this year. at any rate, if lane has half a brain he should be selling this game as just that, a bowl game. also the defense has to show up again this week and the offense has to run the ball more than a couple of yards at a time. then punt. the golden domers will win but take usc to cover the spread. FIGHT ON!!!

10/22 texas tech @ oklahoma. oklahoma favored by 28.5 points. plenty of points. the red raiders have done well against the fighting road kill. though when faced with a better opponent they’ve stumbled. they will again this week. stumble. oklahoma rolls on. take the sooners to win and cover the spread. if you get the chance or are a nam vet visit this texas tech site. you’ll be glad you did. http://www.vietnam.ttu.edu/

10/22 washington @ stanford. stanford favored by 20 points. if washington had a better defense this might be a closer game. deal is they don’t. note the colorado final score. andrew luck shreds them this week. take the cardinal to win and cover the spread.

10/22 wisconsin @ michigan st. wisconsin favored by 9 points. yes, the spartans thumped old blue last week. trouble is the badgers can roll up some points. they will again this week against a tough state defense. take wisconsin to win and cover the points.

first BCS poll week and points must be made. there are some happy campers and pissed off rained on parades as well. the safe bet? red meat and red wine. be safe and semi sane. enjoy the games.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 7

with some mojo finally kicking in i went 8 for 10 this past week. what could be better? giving me an almost respectable 28 for 60 over all. pretty sweet. had georgia tech bothered to cover the spread things would have been even rosier. yes, of course, there was also my misguided ‘upset special’ with air force against notre dame. one of those glitches where there really isn’t any explanation other than, what the hell was i thinking. i was probably thinking it was a year or two ago when air force actually fielded a pretty good team. at any rate, that was last week. time for this week.

i almost had as much trouble finding 10 games for this week’s picks as i did last week. the sad fact is most of the games hold no interest for me. it seems as if a vast number of the games have all become a blur of fighting road kill and the flying tinkerbells up against goliath. a bunch of yawners to be sure. no one really cares except for the alumni, the team, and an over the edge drunken student body. even with the coming apocalypse of the super conferences i really don’t see much change down the road for the current scenario. other than the muddying of old rivalry waters and fatter paychecks for all the deans, commissioners, and athletic directors. goliath will still schedule the fighting road kills and flying tinkerbells of the college football world in some sort of vain attempt at, ‘look at us, we’re an equal opportunity speeding bullet with your name on it flying tinkerbells!’ yeah, those games will always be fun to watch. NOT! Okay, yes, there is a wake forest out there waiting to happen. one or two a season. it isn’t enough and it justifies nothing. those games will continue to look like the harlem globetrotters vs the washington generals. the only difference being the flying tinkerbells are for real.

you’re probably tired of hearing this but i persist. information dealt out here is for fun only. get it? my insanity should be taken with the proverbial grain of salt. or more to the point a full saltshaker of salt. it should never be taken across state lines or to some seedy part of your town to be used as fodder for the sport betting types. leave your money in your wallet where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. it’s as simple as that. don’t be stupid. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/13 usc @ california. usc favored by 3 points. well, finally a point spread that maybe the trojans can cover. a road game up into bear country. a road game where maybe just maybe the usc defense will bloody well show up for the first time this season. if the defense doesn’t show up the men of troy don’t have a prayer in covering the meager spread. in fact they may even take a loss. thankfully, they’ve had almost two weeks to get ready for this one. i hope coach lane has used this time well. and coach, you and dad had better make damn sure the defense makes the bus to the airport and gets on the plane. then on game day catches the bus to the stadium. ok. thursday night national tv. here we go again. take usc to win and cover the spread. such as it is. FIGHT ON!! i found the following web link while reading the ‘daily trojan’ last week. firelanekiffen.com if you’re easily offended this site isn’t for you. you’ve been warned.

10/15 michigan @ michigan st. michigan st favored by 3 points. bragging rights for the state surrounded by fresh water on three sides. should be a good game and a fun one to watch and one that can and probably will go sideways for one of the teams. hopefully, not the spartans. take michigan st to win and cover the home field 3.

10/15 baylor @ texas a&m. texas a&m favored by 9 points. an interesting game. both schools with quality wins and then losses that maybe shouldn’t have happened. just based on the fact baylor beat tcu and iowa st, baylor looks pretty good here to beat the spread. yes, well, i don’t think so. take a&m to win and cover the spread.

10/15 oklahoma st @ texas. oklahoma st favored by 7.5 points. the cowboys can put some points on the board. texas drubbed by the other oklahoma last week at home. another home game and another oklahoma team takes the longhorns down. it’s an oklahoma year for texas, kids. take the cowboys to win and cover.

10/15 alabama @ mississippi. alabama favored by 25 points. a bunch of points but the tide keeps on rolling towards the big dance with oklahoma. take alabama to win and cover the spread. ROLL TIDE!!

10/15 boise st @ colorado st. boise st favored by 32 points. boise got back on track last week and covered the points after a two week lull. colorado st has scored some points and has looked fairly decent against fairly decent opponents so far. boise st is just too much for them. or that’s the hope. take boise st to win and cover the points.

10/15 florida @ auburn. auburn favored by 2 points. a virtual toss up. florida’s defense has stayed on the bus the last two games. though they did well early playing the flying tinkerbells. auburn has been up and down and doesn’t even get the home field three here. florida’s problems continue. take auburn to win.

10/15 stanford @ washington st. stanford favored by 20.5 points. andrew luck takes the show on the road this week. worth a look just to watch him operate. the cougars aren’t as bad as expected. though they aren’t that good either. a bunch of points but luck should be a lady come saturday night. yes, it’s a horrible pun but a great old blue eyes song. take the trees to win and cover the spread.

10/15 oklahoma @ kansas. oklahoma favored by 35 points. the jayhawks only wins this season were against the fighting road kill and flying tinkerbells respectively. 35 is a whole bunch of points to be sure. however, the sooners are on a mission this year and they may blow up the scoreboard this weekend. take oklahoma to win and cover the spread.

10/15 arizona st @ oregon. oregon favored by 16 points. another autzen stadium madhouse where bedlam reigns supreme. my beloved ducks will more than likely be without the services of lemichael james this week and maybe for a few more weeks due to his injury against cal. however, the ducks do have freshman de’anthony thomas to fill his shoes. the freshman had a great game last week and hopefully will again this week. oregon puts and end to arizona st’s run for the roses. take the ducks to win and cover the spread. QUACK QUACK!!!

with any luck at all i’ll still have some carry over mojo for this weekend. red meat and red wine. be safe. be semi sane.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 6

to be perfectly honest with you, due to life rearing it’s head i wasn’t able to watch any of the games this past weekend. sometimes semi unexpected stuff happens in our realm as well as out on the field. at any rate, i went 5 for 10 with my picks. incrementally better but still nothing to get really excited about. over all i’m now 20 for 50. i guess you could say i’m inching towards respectability. or something. once again a few teams didn’t cover the spread but still won. most notably were boise st and usc. over the past five years you would have made some considerable coin by picking boise st to cover the spread each week. recently they have failed to cover two weeks in a row. hopefully, this isn’t the new trend for them. if so things could get even more interesting. usc has also failed to cover while winning pretty much every week this year. a lame excuse to be sure but it’s all i’ve got at the moment.

as always, these picks are for fun only. nothing more. using my insanity to make yourself some extra folding stuff would be asinine at best. leave your wallet where it belongs and nobody gets hurt. the point spreads used here are what i go by to determine my win/loss record for the week. they may be different come game day but it matters not.

thankfully, everyone seems to have ended their exhibition season of playing the fighting road kill schools. given that i still had a bit of a problem picking my ten games for this week. we’re now into conference play and sadly most conferences have more than their share of fighting road kill type schools. mind you, that is not an endorsment for super conferences by any stretch of the imagination. it is just what it is. nothing more. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

10/6 california @ oregon. oregon favored by 24 points. after week 1 my beloved ducks have rolled up some points. visor head kelly has had two weeks to get ready for this home game against the mediocre bears. autzen stadium home game insanity. thursday night national TV. the kids get an early start on weekend binge drinking and by sunday afternoon the’ll begin to mirror ray milland in ‘the lost weekend’. take the ducks to win and cover the spread. QUACK QUACK!!!

10/7 boise st @ fresno st. boise st favored by 21 points. saying this is not fresno st’s year would be putting it mildly. even though this is a road game for boise and they’ve missed covering two weeks in a row, take boise st to win and cover the points.

10/8 oklahoma @ texas. oklahoma favored by 9.5 points. big time big 12 rivalry game. it’s the sooners year to shine. take oklahoma to win and cover.

10/8 georgia tech @ maryland. georgia tech favored by 14 points. georgia tech has put some points on the board this year against some of the fighting road kill schools. someone was impressed enough to work all that into a top 25 ranking for tech. maryland on the other hand lost to several of the fighting road kill schools. though they did beat miami. none the less, take georgia tech to win and cover the spread.

10/8 illinois @ indiana. illinois favored by 14.5 points. both teams spent the first weeks of the year sharpening their skills against the fighting road kill. illinois has some how parlayed all that into a top 25 ranking. yes, they did beat arizona st somehow. is it me or has the world turned upside down? i should scratch this game and pick another. but i’m lazy. take illinois to win and cover. hopefully.

10/8 iowa @ penn st. penn st favored by 4 points. another example of a not so stellar conference match up. this one could go either way as witnessed by the points. take the home team, penn st, to win and or cover the spread.

10/8 arizona st @ utah. arizona st favored by 4 points. small spread to be sure. probably because it’s another one that might go either way or sideways in a hurry for one of the schools. take arizona st to win and cover the spread and find some sort of redemption on the shores of the great salt lake.

10/8 florida @ lsu. no line. the game of the week and it’s even up. though as of this writing, i did find one betting spot that did have lsu favored by 5.5 points. however, i’m going with the consensus and no line. take lsu to win.

10/8 air force @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 16.5 points. tell you what kids. i’m going to make this one an upset special. take air force to win or at least get inside the points in the land of the golden domers.

10/8 auburn @ arkansas. arkansas favored by 10 points. possibly one of the better weekend match ups. a semi rivalry game aspect going for it. though i just don’t see auburn taking it to arkansas on their home field. not this year. take arkansas to win and cover the spread.

enjoy the weekend and the games. be safe and semi sane. red meat on the barbie and red wine in a glass is always a safe bet.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 5

the interesting thing about college ball is (pick one or as many as you’d like), it ain’t over until it’s over, suppositions are just that – suppositions, home field may or may not mean anything, the gnashing of teeth, yelling at the TV, wondering just why somebody gave a particular somebody a coaching job, or for that matter a scholarship, are the referees for real?, college super conferences have been held at bay if only for the time being, cooler heads prevail(?). yes indeed, college football, ain’t nothing like it nowhere. my personal favorite would be the super conferences have been put on hold. again. the greed heads decided to go with family and said family being able to make a relatively short drive in the family car to see junior play the U of State on state’s home turf. in lieu of the family boarding a plane to fly several thousand miles each way while suffering any number of TSA gropings and assorted other indignities with only 3 ounces of fine brandy in their carry on luggage. plus, spending a boat load of cash for the privilege to go through all of that if not more. yeah, let’s hear it for the greed heads. Thanks, er…um…for now. i guess.

the weekend was abysmal on a couple of fronts. i suffered through a rather nasty sinus infection while waiting for the antibiotics to kick in. which thankfully they eventually did. then there’s the fact, some schools just can’t quite get a grip on covering the spread or winning when they bloody well should. god, the horror. yes, another sad week’s worth of picks. i went 4 for 10 and now stand at 15 for 40 over all. ouch.

as always, this is for fun only. if this were a business i would be unemployed by now. which i suppose technically i am as i’m retired. it must be pretty obvious so far this year for my regular readers, whom i do thank very much, that taking the drivel bandied about here and extrapolating it into any useful betting information would be utterly stupid if not impossible. though in my own defense, even if i were a perfect 40 for 40 i’d still be telling you this: leave your wallet in your pocket and nobody gets hurt. it’s really that simple. or at least a tad simpler than some 12 step gamblers deal. or even worse, explaining to the kids why you’ve squandered not only their college fund but dinner and breakfast money for many months to come. while also telling them the whole family will be celebrating christmas this year and probably the next by standing on the corner holding a tin cup with all the unemployed and homeless folk. oh, boy. merry christmas, little timmy. capisco? i hope so. ok. now that some sort of perspective has been brought to the festivities. onward.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/30 utah st @ byu. byu favored by 7 points. byu is having one of those years. sort of like the one i’m having doing my picks this year. utah st did well against auburn in their first outing of the year. friday night nationwide spotlight with a rivalry aspect going it. byu has to step it up or it makes going independent look stupid. take byu to win and cover.

10/1 alabama @ florida. alabama favored by 4 points. one of the better match ups for saturday even though i’m not feeling the gators at number 12. be that as it may, take bama to win and cover the points. ROLL TIDE!!

10/1 arkansas @ texas a&m. texas a&m favored by 3 points. both teams coming off good weeks last saturday even in losing. take the razorbacks to win and or get inside the spread.

10/1 nevada @ boise st. boise st favored by 27 points. surf team blue didn’t cover the spread in their win last saturday. though kellen moore shredded the field as usual. nevada had a shot at beating texas tech but couldn’t finish them off. nevada can also put some points on the board. though whats left of last years power house boise st team should want to avenge the loss to the wolf pack at the end of the season. 28 is still a bunch of points against a team that can score. none the less, take boise st to win and cover.

10/1 smu @ tcu. tcu favored by 12 points. the mustangs began the year with a loss against a ranked team. the last three weeks it’s been fighting road kill teams for them. tcu’s record this year sorta mirrors smu’s record. along with all that this is one of those rivalry games. i love june jones but smu is in over their head here. take tcu to win and cover the spread.

10/1 arizona @ usc. usc favored by 13.5 points. the trojans, yet again, took the 4th quarter off last week against the other arizona school. of course by doing so they lost the game. this is getting old but, if the trojans show up and actually play all four quarters against the wildcats, who are a mediocre team at best, they will win and cover. being a home game for them this shouldn’t be a problem if they all catch the bus before the game, don’t leave early and pay some sort of attention if they do stick around for the fourth quarter. a number of “ifs” but take usc to win and cover anyway. FIGHT ON!!

10/1 clemson @ virgina tech. virgina tech favored by 7 points. good game kids and one i hope i’ll be able to watch. clemson is a surprise this year and they’ve done very well against ranked teams at home. tech has gone down the fighting road kill route for the most part so far this year. i’m thinking clemson will do well this saturday on the road. take clemson to at least cover the points and maybe even win.

10/1 texas @ iowa st. texas favored by 9.5 points. iowa st on a roll once again so far and still no respect. however, texas has had two weeks to get ready for this one. take texas to win and cover the spread.

10/1 nebraska @ wisconsin. wisconsin favored by 10 points. the badgers have been solid against the fighting road kill this season. 3 and 0 at home as well. so far to my thinking nebraska has had the tougher schedule. take nebraska to at least cover the spread and maybe even win.

10/1 ucla @ stanford. stanford favored by 21 points. a bunch of points. stanford has had it fairly easy thus far. the bruins beat the beavers on the road last week. slick rick is still alive at least for the time being. stanford isn’t oregon st. stanford also has a quarterback. a very good one. stanford puts a thump on the bruins this saturday on their way to a show down with either the ducks or the sun devils and a share of the rose bowl. take stanford to win and cover the points.

summertime heat lingers here. fall has fell further east. it’s the season of the witch. one month down and only two more to go. enjoy the games while you can. be safe. be sane.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 4

finding the 10 games for my picks this week was even harder than last week. what is up with schools still playing the sisters of the poor fighting road kill four weeks into the season? i don’t get it. who is watching those games? (i was gonna use a helen keller joke here but decided against it for politically correct reasons. yeah, as odd as that might seem.) i guess it must be the fact the fighting road kill has a huge fan base willing to travel anywhere, anytime, to watch their favorite team get further flattened by pretty much everybody they play. and of course, there’s the big money involved. sigh. thankfully, there are still a few schools who haven’t totally succumbed to this odd insanity of scheduling patsies and women’s field hockey teams early in the year. this current trend makes it particularly hard to find ten games worth watching let alone making ten worth while picks against the spread this week. speaking of which, just picking winners is vaguely easy. picking winners using the spread or points is another matter entirely.

this past week’s picks turned out somewhat better than the first two weeks. i went 5 for 10. still a bit mediocre but i’ll take it as it’s much better than 2 for 10. after the first three weeks i’m now 11 for 30 overall. not a pretty sight to be sure, however, it is what it is and i plod onward towards the goal of being at least on the other side of 50% by the time the season ends.

once again, remember these picks are for fun only and no sane person would take the insanity dished out here and use it in any sort of gambling or betting pursuits. doing that would be just plain stupid or even perhaps suicidal. kids, leave your wallets in your pockets where they belong and nobody gets hurt. the point spreads listed here are what i use to determine my win/loss stats for the week. ‘the boys’ may change the points by the time the games roll around but it doesn’t make any difference to me as i have a semi sort of life and i also have no desire to update this blather when ‘they’ decide to change things. and the blooming super conferences blow the whole college game to smithereens.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/24 san diego st @ michigan. michigan favored by 10 points. san diego st made a nice comeback last year after a number of years in the doldrums. a good program with a history of playing some good football. it looks like they’re still on a roll this year. which is fine by me. i haven’t seen them play this well since the days of marshall faulk. it’s also very nice to see them take on a big 10 or 12 or whatever the hell it is team. albeit one that got clobbered by the irish last weekend. and one that will probably be looking to right the ship against the aztecs. a big game and one that will make a huge statement for san diego st. take san diego st to win and or cover the points.

9/24 arkansas @ alabama. alabama favored by 12 points. the first big game of the year for arkansas having played the fighting road kill several times already. bama went to visit joe pa and came home a winner. it’s a bit early in the year but make no mistake, this is a rivalry game and 12 points just might be too many. if the tide rolls it won’t matter. take alabama to win and cover. ROLL TIDE!!

9/24 california @ washington. washington favored by 3 points. a fairly decent pac whatever match up. washington lost last week at nebraska but did manage to put some points on the board. cal fooled around with one of those women’s field hockey teams and won big. yawn. take washington and the home field 3 to win and cover.

9/24 lsu @ w. virginia. lsu favored by 6.5 points. w. virginia has looked good so far. the trouble being maryland has been their toughest opponent of the year. lsu got a scare from miss st last week but lsu’s defense won the game. the same thing will happen again this week. take lsu to win and cover the points.

9/24 ucla @ oregon st. oregon st favored by 3.5 points. yeah, what else was i supposed to pick? possibly a very ugly game. and a game slick rick needs to win. rick is a very personable guy and should probably consider a spot with espn. be that as it may. another bruin loss. take oregon st to win and cover.

9/24 oklahoma st @ texas a&m. texas a&m favored by 3.5 points. in all likely hood probably a good game. and a close one. take texas and the home field 3 to win and cover.

9/24 missouri @ oklahoma. oklahoma favored by 22 points. surprisingly missouri did well in losing to arizona st. oklahoma has been very impressive so far. unless missouri steps up this one will be a rout. and they probably won’t. take oklahoma to win and cover the points.

9/24 tulsa @ boise st. boise st favored by 32.5 points. this one started out with no line. as of today only one company has any points out for the game. interesting. the surf turf teams first home game of the year. blue turf or not they are pretty much unbeatable on the blue stuff. i’ve finally succumbed to the koolaid and i will agree that boise st can play some ball against pretty much anybody on a one game basis. what still remains to be seen is if they can play ball every week against higher caliber programs. and win. there lies the rub. though give them credit for getting out of a doormat league and climbing into one a step further up the ladder. kellen moore is an outstanding quarterback. he should walk all over tulsa. take boise st to win.

9/24 usc @ arizona st. arizona st favored by 3 points. one of the best games of the weekend. the trojans finally showed up and played an entire game against a decent syracuse team last week. plus, they are one of the few teams that didn’t go the fighting road kill route this year. good for them. arizona st couldn’t beat illinois last week. the sun devils need this one if they want a shot at the pac whatever title. usc on the other hand is playing for pride and hopefully they’ve come to embrace that pride. as it’s the only thing they’ll have to play for this year. perhaps marcus allen should make more motivational after practice locker room speeches like he did the week before the syracuse game. desert heat and a night game. the heat shouldn’t be a problem for the trojans. if they play all four quarters they should win. take the trojans to win or at least get inside the 3 points. FIGHT ON!!

9/24 oregon @ arizona. oregon favored by 14.5 points. the desert southwest gets plenty of football action this weekend to match the early fall blast furnace heat. oregon travels way south and down the road from phoenix. and if they can handle the heat for a few hours they’ll cover the spread against a mediocre arizona team that has already lost to oklahoma st and stanford. the ducks continue their quest for the pac whatever title. take oregon to win and cover the spread. QUACK QUACK!!

enjoy the games and your weekend. be safe and be semi sane if at all possible. cheers.

jmh

2011 college football picks week 3

there are several good reasons why i always tell you to leave your wallet in your pocket. last weekend’s results are one of the primary reasons. a dreadfully annoying 2 for 10 fiasco leaving me at 6 for 20 over all so far this year. not good. but then you already knew that. however, am i going to let that stop me from plodding on? of course not.

sadly, i had a hard time finding 10 games to pick this week due to a good number of the schools are still playing the sisters of the poor fighting road kill. okay, so what’s worse, 3 weeks of crappy games against teams no one has ever heard of or 16 team super conferences? that my friends, in a nut shell, is the rub. it’s a toss up in my opinion. the sad state of college football affairs. but i digress and get ahead of myself as i veer into my usual end of season bowl rant.

once again. leave your wallet alone and nobody gets hurt. this is for fun only and using what you read here for gambling purposes would be insane. though i’m sure there are wags out there who’ll tell you just do the opposite of what i pick. yeah, sure. funny stuff but there will be a couple of weekends this year when you’ll be very very sorry if you do that. just when that will be is anyones guess though. maybe even this week. at any rate, the point spreads here are what i use to determine my wins and losses for the week. they may change before game time. i could care less as i have a semi sort of life and i have desire to update stuff 24-7.

rock ‘n’ roll.

9/15 lsu @ mississippi st. lsu favored by 3.5 points. lsu keeps surprising and miss st was a disappointment last week. i suppose miss st is lucky this is a home game. which is exactly why i’m taking mississippi st to cover the spread or even win.

9/17 michigan st @ notre dame. notre dame favored by 5 points. the golden domers looked very good last week up until the last couple of minutes then the wheels fell off. state has been on the sisters of the poor curcuit the first two weeks of the season. i’m taking michigan st to win or cover the spread. yeah, i know.

9/17 texas @ ucla. texas favored by 3.5 points. i hate these half point spreads. why can’t they just say 4 or whatever? unless things go better than expected for slick rick this will be his last season at the helm of the bruins. psst, mike leach is still available. pirate regalia included. this might be an interesting game. take texas to win or cover.

9/17 navy @ s. carolina. s. carolina favored by 18 points. why spurrier let garcia back on the team. again. is beyond me. be that as it may, take s. carolina to win and cover.

9/17 oklahoma @ florida st. oklahoma favored by 3 points. take the sooners to win and cover.

9/17 ohio st @ miami. no line. no line? interesting. guess everyone is lined up at the tattoo parlor or waiting in line for the vip room at the strip club. sad thing is, i have to pick someone here. home field advantage and 5 more of the miscreants are back on the team. take miami.

9/17 arizona st @ illinois. pick em. no points. almost as interesting as, no line. see above. okay, so the sun devils get to leave their blast furnace for a few days. i’m sure they are all thrilled with that. they might even get a shot at seeing some rain while away from home. an oddity for them for sure. statement year for arizona st. take them to win.

9/17 utah @ byu. byu favored by 5. did utah play well last week against the trojans or did the trojans mail it in again at the end of the game? dispute the spread this one could go either way. state of utah bragging rights on the line here kids. sorry utah st. take byu to win and cover the points.

9/17 oklahoma st @ tulsa. oklahoma st favored by 14 points. take the cowboys to win and cover.

9/17 stanford @ arizona. stanford favored by 10 points. the trees continue on their roll for the pac whatever championship. yes, it will be very hot in tucson and maybe even some monsoonal moisture thrown in for good measure as well. regardless, take stanford to win and cover the spread.

enjoy the games, your weekend, and what’s left of the warm weather. toss some protein on the barbie while sipping a few cool ones and try your best to get into what’s left of college football as we once knew it.

jmh